News

<p>When this woman is concerned about her sister&#39;s name, she asks <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/10pqhgo/wibta_for_requesting_my_sister_rethink_her_new/" target="_blank">Reddit:</a></p><h2>&quot;WIBTA for requesting my sister rethink her new name?&quot;</h2><blockquote> <p>My (28F) sister (18MtoF) came out to me and my family as transgender around Christmas 2021.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>We&rsquo;ve been calling her &ldquo;Eve&rdquo; (not her real name for anonymity) for over a year until last week when she told us she no longer likes the name and wanted to change it.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>This is something she&rsquo;s discussed with her therapist and called a family meeting to announce her new name.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>However, her new name is very similar to my name. For example, think Gemma and Gemima, Ella and Eleanor, or Jenny and Jennifer.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>This is where it gets complicated, I don&rsquo;t use my full name unless it&rsquo;s on legal documents or at medical appointments and just use my nickname - this name is further from my sister&rsquo;s new name - but every time my parents have used the new name it&rsquo;s annoyed me more and more.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>I feel like, whilst I don&rsquo;t use my full name it is still mine and I feel uncomfortable with her name being so similar.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>When my parents call out for her it makes me jump with the first syllable thinking I&rsquo;m in trouble like a kid again being full named. I didn&rsquo;t say anything initially as I was told with my whole family there and we were processing using a new name.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I&rsquo;m so worried about bringing it up because I know it won&rsquo;t go well. I mentioned it to my parents and they just laughed it off.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I think it&rsquo;s harder because my sister is autistic with severe social anxiety and it takes her a long time to tell us things. She&rsquo;s also not very good with the word &ldquo;no&rdquo; as she&rsquo;s the youngest child by 10 years and my parents spoil her a bit.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Although that could just be a bit of resentment because I&rsquo;m also autistic and nobody noticed until I was late 20s so I&rsquo;ve had to mask my whole life and she has never had to, she&rsquo;s had all the accommodations she&rsquo;s ever needed and as a result hasn&rsquo;t ever had to consider other people.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I don&rsquo;t mean this in an insulting way, she just doesn&rsquo;t ever have to consider others and so she&rsquo;s not going to take it well when I tell her it&rsquo;s not really appropriate to use a name so similar to mine. So, WIBTA for asking my sister to rethink her name?</p> </blockquote><h2>Let&#39;s find out.</h2><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/fluffyrex/" target="_blank">fluffyrex</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>Since you&#39;re both autistic, please consider this: your sister has no inkling that her new chosen name is making you uncomfortable, so if you never express it to her, she will never understand where your discomfort is coming from.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>It will affect your relationship, but you will have withheld the information from her she needs to make an informed decision about what&#39;s more important to her: the specific new name that she has chosen, or your comfort with it.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>The information might not change her decision, but if you withhold the information, she can&#39;t actually make one.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Sometimes people in search of their identity subconsciously begin to subsume parts of other peoples&#39; identities, usually people they know and love, because they want to be more like them.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Your sister may unwittingly be doing this, not knowing that it feels super icky to be subsumed in such a way. This is a possible topic for therapy. Good luck.</p> </blockquote><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Short-Classroom2559/" target="_blank">shortclassroom77</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>Going to come at this from a different angle. NTA and here&#39;s why. From a legal perspective, her name being almost identical to yours is begging for a combined credit file.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Credit files don&#39;t work like people assume they do. Most people think that a credit file triggers from your social security number. However it&#39;s a bit more involved than that. Credit files are based on name, street address and socials.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>For example I have a friend whose name is the same as his dad&#39;s. No Jr or Sr. Just exactly the same.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>They lived in the same house. Even with different ages and socials, their credit reports are merged together. His dad has collections and bankruptcy on his. Well, guess who gets declined every time he applies for anything?</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>At minimum you will need to pull credit reports frequently and more than likely be disputing things that aren&#39;t yours.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>This is just a bad idea imo and your parents really should be the ones to explain that. At 18, they don&#39;t understand the long term consequences of this decision.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Altruistic_You737/" target="_blank">altruistic77</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>NTA - I remember a bit back there was a cis woman on here whose trans sister picked her name as her future name - not part of it, similar too or anything - the full damn name.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>She too felt awkward and knew that bringing it up would cause problems so she spoke to the sister via her therapist and it came out the trans sister had spent most of her life being low key jealous of her for being female and this was about reclaiming that.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Could that be similar for your sister? Are you the sibling I closest in age? Or the only cis female sibling? This might just be down to unresolved jealousy of your birth gender maybe not obviously- but if it is affecting you then you need to bring it up...</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Well, looks like OP is NTA. What&#39;s YOUR take on this situation?</h2><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Woman thinks her transitioning sister's new name 'would be creepy.'

When this woman is concerned about her sister&#39;s name, she asks Reddit:&quot;WIBTA for requesting my sister rethink her new name?&quot; My (28F) sister (18MtoF) came out to me and my family as transgender around Christmas 2021.  We&rsquo;ve been calling her &ldquo;Eve&rdquo; (not her real name for anonymity) for over a year until last week when she told us she no longer likes the name and wanted to change it.  This is something she&rsquo;s discussed with her therapist and called a family meeting to announce her new name.  However, her new name is very similar to my name. For example, think Gemma and Gemima, Ella and Eleanor, or Jenny and Jennifer.  This is where it gets complicated, I don&rsquo;t use my full name unless it&rsquo;s on legal documents or at medical appointments and just use my nickname - this name is further from my sister&rsquo;s new name - but every time my parents have used the new name it&rsquo;s annoyed me more and more.  I feel like, whilst I don&rsquo;t use my full name it is still mine and I feel uncomfortable with her name being so similar.  When my parents call out for her it makes me jump with the first syllable thinking I&rsquo;m in trouble like a kid again being full named. I didn&rsquo;t say anything initially as I was told with my whole family there and we were processing using a new name.  I&rsquo;m so worried about bringing it up because I know it won&rsquo;t go well. I mentioned it to my parents and they just laughed it off.  I think it&rsquo;s harder because my sister is autistic with severe social anxiety and it takes her a long time to tell us things. She&rsquo;s also not very good with the word &ldquo;no&rdquo; as she&rsquo;s the youngest child by 10 years and my parents spoil her a bit.  Although that could just be a bit of resentment because I&rsquo;m also autistic and nobody noticed until I was late 20s so I&rsquo;ve had to mask my whole life and she has never had to, she&rsquo;s had all the accommodations she&rsquo;s ever needed and as a result hasn&rsquo;t ever had to consider other people.  I don&rsquo;t mean this in an insulting way, she just doesn&rsquo;t ever have to consider others and so she&rsquo;s not going to take it well when I tell her it&rsquo;s not really appropriate to use a name so similar to mine. So, WIBTA for asking my sister to rethink her name? Let&#39;s find out.fluffyrex writes: Since you&#39;re both autistic, please consider this: your sister has no inkling that her new chosen name is making you uncomfortable, so if you never express it to her, she will never understand where your discomfort is coming from.  It will affect your relationship, but you will have withheld the information from her she needs to make an informed decision about what&#39;s more important to her: the specific new name that she has chosen, or your comfort with it.  The information might not change her decision, but if you withhold the information, she can&#39;t actually make one.  Sometimes people in search of their identity subconsciously begin to subsume parts of other peoples&#39; identities, usually people they know and love, because they want to be more like them.  Your sister may unwittingly be doing this, not knowing that it feels super icky to be subsumed in such a way. This is a possible topic for therapy. Good luck. shortclassroom77 writes: Going to come at this from a different angle. NTA and here&#39;s why. From a legal perspective, her name being almost identical to yours is begging for a combined credit file.  Credit files don&#39;t work like people assume they do. Most people think that a credit file triggers from your social security number. However it&#39;s a bit more involved than that. Credit files are based on name, street address and socials.  For example I have a friend whose name is the same as his dad&#39;s. No Jr or Sr. Just exactly the same.  They lived in the same house. Even with different ages and socials, their credit reports are merged together. His dad has collections and bankruptcy on his. Well, guess who gets declined every time he applies for anything?  At minimum you will need to pull credit reports frequently and more than likely be disputing things that aren&#39;t yours.  This is just a bad idea imo and your parents really should be the ones to explain that. At 18, they don&#39;t understand the long term consequences of this decision. altruistic77 writes: NTA - I remember a bit back there was a cis woman on here whose trans sister picked her name as her future name - not part of it, similar too or anything - the full damn name.  She too felt awkward and knew that bringing it up would cause problems so she spoke to the sister via her therapist and it came out the trans sister had spent most of her life being low key jealous of her for being female and this was about reclaiming that.  Could that be similar for your sister? Are you the sibling I closest in age? Or the only cis female sibling? This might just be down to unresolved jealousy of your birth gender maybe not obviously- but if it is affecting you then you need to bring it up... Well, looks like OP is NTA. What&#39;s YOUR take on this situation?

When this woman is concerned about her sister&#39;s name, she asks Reddit:  &quot;WIBTA for requesting my sister rethink her new name?&quot;   My (28F) sister (18MtoF) came out to me and my family as transgender around Christmas 2021.   ...