Woman won't cook for in-laws on Xmas, husband says, 'your diet is unreasonable.'
"AITA for refusing to host my in-laws for Christmas?"
My husband (29M) and I (27F) are both vegans. We have been married for four years. Our respective families live far from each other so we alternate which side of the family we spend Christmas with (his or mines).
His family takes turns hosting Christmas and have all sorts of family traditions including doing a seafood dinner (apparently a European thing). It is a big dinner that includes the whole extended family (aunts/uncles, cousins, nieces/nephews, etc).
My husband and I don’t partake in the seafood but there are always some side dishes which are fine or only need minor adjustments to be vegan. In previous years, I have declined for us to host because I don’t want to prepare meat dishes.
This year we are spending Christmas with his family and last week I asked him who would be hosting. To my complete surprise, he said that we would be hosting because some of his cousins asked him to since they wanted an excuse to visit our city.
I expressed my surprise that his family would all agree to have a vegan Christmas dinner and he replied that they didn’t. At this point I was confused because there was no way that I was going to cook seafood and I told him as much.
He said that he had already agreed for us to host and that everyone had already started making travel plans and some flights/hotels have already been booked so we couldn’t back out now.
He assumed that I would be okay preparing seafood for his family because apparently he is fine handling seafood. I do almost all the cooking because he is terrible at it so him cooking Christmas dinner is not an option.
Now all my in-laws are mad at me for “ruining Christmas” by cancelling the plans they had made and are threatening to disinvite us from the Christmas celebration. My husband is upset at me for wrecking his relationship with his relatives and also being an 'unreasonable vegan.' AITA?
realareyes writes:
NTA. Your husband should have talked to you first before making a decision which affects both of you.
So now either he learns how to cook ASAP, or someone else hosts, or the in-laws spend a vegan Christmas. They can‘t force you to do something for them without even ASKING you first! It‘s a major red flag to give you such a huge task without your agreement.
annoyingusername89 writes:
NTA. First I want to say, hubby should not have invited anyone without talking to you first. my ex did this once for regular dinner. I had 2 steaks, just the 2!
I didn't know his friend was invited until he showed up at the door so I cooked the steaks and gave my husband's to his friend and the ex got to eat potatoes and salad. 2nd, make a vegan meal IF you make any at all.
crystallzz2000 writes:
This. OP, please text his family, 'BLANK invited you all to our home without telling me until X date and assumed that as a vegan I would prepare a meal with meat, which I would never do.
BLANK now has a few options, he can make the meal, he can have the meal catered, or he can cancel the dinner.
There's no reason to be mad at me. This entire situation is of his making, and he needs to figure out how to fix it without throwing me under the bus. Please do not call or send me any more angry things. Talk to BLANK, since he created this situation.' Then, tell your husband the same thing.