Woman 'disgusted' by boyfriend's proposal; considers breaking up. AITA?
If you've ever been engaged you know that the way someone proposes is VERY important. When this girlfriend is actively disgusted by her BF's proposal to her, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for being upset about his proposal?"
Sorry for formatting ahead of time I am trying to use speech to text the best I can hand is in a cast but unrelated. I 23f have been w my partner 25m for almost 3 years.
We have been rocky lately, about A week ago we were playing league of legends and I had muted somebody who was saying not nice things about me as league of legends players do.
We've been having a problem where he'll tell me what muted players were saying to me or about me, as well as irl ppl. I got upset after the game and went to the bedroom to be alone and sad.
He came in to try and cheer me up and set wait a minute and went to Retrieve a ring. For context hes had a previous fiance and they were engaged using his high school graduation ring.
The ring that he tried to propose to me with was the other ring given at that school. 'this Isn't the graduation ring but this is the ring my entire class Got..' He got this ring for free.
I saw visual dirt still on it And he proposed to me me on dirty clothes in our bedroom. with it he said this won't be the final proposal it would be a promise ring type of thing. I cry even harder I am really hurt, Because a year and a 1/2 ago he promised to propose to me that December, i assumed on our anniversary.
He told me the ring was special to him because he actually wore this one whereas the grad wing he didn't wear and he felt forced to buy the grad ring by his parents before he met his exfiance.
He told me this after the fact and hasn't mentioned this ring at all before this points which I am conflicted about since hes saying it's so special to him.
Another reason we've been rocky is breaking promises but that's not the main thing. He told me he recently found this ring but the thing is I've had another ring I tried to use as a promise ring early this year.
But he mocked me for using it. I thought it was perfect because it had 2 purple hearts to my favorite color our favorite color. I rejected the ring that he tried to give me a bronze - ish plain band.
I'm more insulted because price isn't a problem I said I'd be fine with pop candy ring from the dollar store, i even gave one as a stalking stuff for Christmas / anniversary. We've talked about the actual engagement ring before and I don't want a diamomd.
I don't ethically agree with diamonds and let's be honest we're broke I want it an amethyst ring, The majority of which ran under $300 and I found a fever love on Etsy for like a 150.
During the same time I've seen him make other big purchases like a ps5 to play mc w his other gf (we're poly) that he didnt tell me about for 5mos (broke poly boundaries) and it hurts a lot.
I told him how insulted I was and we've been fighting about that and other stuff on and off again. I know I could have been nicer but I just asked him what he was doing and said I wasn't OK with this and rejected the ring. Am I the a****** for how I reacted?
Let's see what internet users had to say on this one.
mamakilla writes:
NTA at all. I see A LOT of red flags. Don't marry this men. And please consider going away. He's very disrespectful.
winglord writes:
YTA but this is a disaster waiting to happen All parties need to mature. He gave you a promise ring and you didn't like it because it wasn't perfect. You know he's this kind of person, but you're still interested in having him pursue you. But then you complain about him doing this in his way and not your way.
unclebullhorn writes:
I proposed to my wife in the cab of her pick-up in pitch darkness in what turned out to be a closed parking lot at San Simeon State Becah. No ring. We'll celebrate 32 years in May.
However, the issues seem to run very, very deep on both sides, and honestly, I don't think either of you are ready for marriage. Both of you seem to go out of the way to annoy each other. ESH, and really work on the relationship before deciding you still want to be together in 2054.