When this woman is furious with her ex-husband, she asks Reddit:
I (F33) have been divorced from my husband (M34) for a little over a year. It’s been rough, we were childhood best friends who thought we’d be together forever.
This might be dramatic but I’m quite frankly traumatized from the divorce which might be clouding my judgement. Anyways, I picked up our three year old daughter from his house yesterday and got some….interesting news today.
During lunch she told me that on Saturday her and daddy’s girlfriend watched Cinderella. I had no idea he was dating again but I calmly responded with, “oh? What’s her name?” And she responded with, “Miss Sheila.”
Sheila is a woman who works with my ex and who has always been a major point of contention between my ex and I when we were married.
She’s always had a crush on him and would go out of her way to antagonize me whenever I showed up to work related events with him. I’m pretty sure she despises me.
After finding this out I texted my ex essentially asking why tf he would let someone who hates me babysit our daughter. He responded with, “what are you talking about?” And we went back and forth until he admitted that yes, Sheila watched her but she doesn’t hate me.
Now, this might be where I’m TA. I told him that this was a complete violation of our custody agreement (him not informing me of who’s taking care of our daughter) and if he does it again I’ll take him to court. He responded with, “chill I was in my office and they were in the living room.”
And I told him that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and he’s just like his father. For context: his father is addicted to gambling and never raised my ex. My ex called me asking how dare I say that and asking what my issue was and I told him to fuck off. Am I the asshole for the way I handled this situation?
badgirlthrowaway writes:
I’m gonna come from a different POV than everyone else.
When I got divorced before we went to court the standing orders included not having a significant other around kids until they’ve dated for at least 6 months, and it was longer for spending the night.
So I’m gonna say NTA, or slight ESH maybe, but he shouldn’t be having someone he’s just gotten together w it h around your kid.
blakeraven writes:
Yes, YTA. You're broken up, so you don't get to decide who he dates. And, unfortunately, who he dates will have a relationship with your daughter. You don't have to like it, but you do have to accept it.
Also, tf you doing comparing him to an absent father because he had to go into his home office for a couple of hours? Low blow.
obviousdepartment writes:
NTA. You went a little far with the father comment, but there's a reason why a lot of divorce decrees include clauses limiting the influence of new romantic partners on the child.
Also LMAOOOOO at everyone saying that OP should accept Sheila because her father being in a 'healthy, loving relationship' is good for her daughter. Like y'all can't see where this is going? It's literally a cliche:
Woman drives wedge between man she's pursuing and his current partner > woman starts buttering up to all of the former couple's mutual acquaintances so she doesn't look like the bad guy > woman gets pregnant >
woman stops giving a shit about not looking like the bad guy and starts driving a wedge between the father and his children from the previous relationship >
the children from the previous relationship make a post on reddit trying to solve the mystery of where their father's balls went and whether they should just give up and go NC.