Woman is humiliated when friend says 'you really brought 'riff raff' to my gala?'
When this woman is weirded out by her friend's reaction, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for taking an “unsuccessful” man to my friend’s fancy gala?'
I (F25) work in AI/tech and a lot of my friends and I from my college program and work are fortunately well off. One of my friends (F25) hosts these quarterly black-tie galas that are honestly super cool because she’s great at planning events.
She kept begging me to bring a date to her February gala, and was even sending me the social medias of a bunch of guys from college and this company we interned at. Honestly, I never really vibed with any of the guys from school because I was hyper focused on studying and I never really clicked with them.
I go to this ice cream shop near me a lot, and there’s a cute guy who runs the shop. I’ve been trying to get out of my shell a little more, so I finally asked him for his number and asked him if he would like to go to my friend’s party with me after we texted for a bit.
I told my friend that I had a surprise date so she would get off my back. At the party when he introduced himself, she seemed kind of off put, and I feel a little bad for him too because he seemed a bit awkward but I think he warmed up as the night went on.
He texted me afterwards and said he had a good time (although it could be that he was just trying to be polite to me.)
After the party my friend told me that I was being disrespectful to the time and energy she put into planning by “picking up random riff raff guys off the street” to go with me to her gala. She also said that I was rude to my date by bringing him there because he wasn’t “successful as everyone else” and “obviously felt uncomfortable and ashamed.”
I kind of apologized to her reflexively because I felt bad for making her feel disrespected. However I’m starting to feel like her reaction was pretty over the top and snobby. AITA?
Let's find out.
throwawayhater44 writes:
OP, your friend hosts Black Tie because she's a social class/wealth snob of the highest caliber and it sounds like she seriously looks down on her 'social inferiors' as being an actual lower class of human being.
Honestly, I would completely back away from filth like that. NTA but your 'friend' sure is. If you've never watched it and like comedies I would really recommend the Dan Akroyd Eddie Murphy classic 'Trading Places'. Classism is a really well done theme in that movie.
ethicalroaster writes:
NTA. I’m sorry to break it to you, but your friend sounds like an elitist piece of work. She begged you to bring a date. So you brought a date. Now she’s upset he wasn’t “good enough”?
A fellow human being is somehow unqualified to attend a party because it’s full of people who are “more successful”? That’s messed up.
I do hope you gave him a heads up on what kind of party it was going to be so he wouldn’t feel uncomfortable if he’s not into fancy tech galas, but no NTA by a long shot.
kookyprotection7 writes:
A lot of successful people are big AH. Exhibit one is OP's friend.... My college educated friend (was CFO of our hospital) is married to a mechanic who does own his own shop.
No college education. But he's a very cool guy and can talk about lots of stuff. He'd also part owner in a very well to do pot business (but doesn't use it himself). Mostnof our mutual friends are in the medical field. They are probably one of the happier couples.
I was married to a cardiologist. It was very overrated. Op's friend sucks and I'd seriously go LC with her snobbish attitude. Date the person for who they are and their personality. Not for where they went to school and how educated they are.