Woman lets daughter cut up 'large, tacky, and unwanted' religious gift from SIL. AITA?
When this woman is annoyed with her SIL, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for letting my daughter repurpose a gift I did not like or want?'
Several years ago I had a miscarriage. I do not know how, but my SIL found out about this fairly recently. In a misguided attempt to be supportive, she recently sent me a framed poem about babies in heaven, decorated with angels.
It was pretty large, very tacky, and very unwanted. Not only am I not actively grieving the loss of pregnancy, we are not religious and she knows that. Also, it's just not my style and I don't want it on my wall.
Anyways, my oldest daughter is really creative and wanted to use the print itself in one of her collages. It turned out really beautiful, she incorporated the best parts of the poem and images with other pieces from elsewhere.
I know this might sound cheesy, but it actually took me from being reminded of a really painful part of my life to being so grateful for the wonderfully creative kids I have. My husband got the final product framed and it is hanging in our home. SIL saw this last night while she was Face-timing with my husband, and she got really upset.
Husband told her that while we appreciate the gesture, it wasn't really appropriate and he thought that our daughter re-using parts of the gift was better than us throwing it out.
I know this is personal for SIL, as she is very religious and has struggled with infertility. But we are not close and I don't appreciate the random angel baby poem in the mail years after I lost my last pregnancy. It's weird and invasive to me. I don't feel bad about letting my daughter cut the poem up, but I need to say something to SIL to keep the peace. AITA?
Let's find out.
joewastedtime writes:
NTA I wouldn’t keep a religious miscarriage poem. It’s a bit weird and uncomfortable. I’m glad your daughter turned it into something beautiful for you.
jules09 writes:
NTA, but I can see why she would be a bit hurt especially since she sent it from a place of love. Maybe send her a note explaining it did bring you comfort just not in the way she intended.
Explain that in it's original form it was a bit much to handle and you struggled to connect with it in the same way she did due too the religious nature but the way your daughter presented it, helped you connect to the message. She tried to do something kind for you, and while she may have missed the remark, the intention was there.
Often times people don't know how to comfort each other in a way that's well received, but I'd rather have 5 of those people in my life than 100 who say or do nothing. Don't let this sit unaddressed, or she will become one if the 100 rather than being one if the amazing 5.
endearinglycynical writes:
NAH. Your SIL did something that was incredibly misguided but came from a place of empathy and kindness and you're under no obligation to put that on your wall. I wouldn't want it either.
It's actually been used instead of being thrown in the bin. She might be upset but she'll get over it. If you have to talk to her about it thank her for the gift first and foremost and go from there. You don't have to explain yourself and she has no right to stay mad for long.