Woman refuses to help sister with baby during flight; says, 'figure it out.' AITA?
When this sis is annoyed with her sister putting pressure on her to help babysit, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for not helping my sister watch my nephew during a flight delay?'
Rae(25f) and I (23f) grew up in NYC. Our parents own a vacation home. When I moved out they decided to move there permanently.
They’ve only been back once so I recently decided to visit them. Mom and Rae were talking and my plans came up. She called and asked why I didn’t tell her I was planning to go to Cali. I said it had nothing to do with her so why would I have to tell her anything.
She said it made no sense for us to do separate trips when we could just go together. I said she’s acting extremely entitled to something she had no parts in and I’m not obligated to include her in every plan I make.
She said she just wants our parents to meet her son. I said he’s like 5 months you had plenty of time to take him if it was important. Then she cried to mom. Ma said it was a good idea. I said if Rae cared so much she would’ve planned to see them on her own. She told me she really needs this.
I told Rae if she comes she can’t ask me for sh** I’m not helping with her kid act like I’m not even there. She agreed. The day came and our connecting flight was delayed so we had to stay the night. I was trying to fall asleep. She asked me if I was really going to sleep. I was annoyed. I said “If you leave me tf alone.”
Later she asked me to watch the baby. I said just hold him and go to sleep. She was scared someone would snatch him while she slept. I said she sounds fkn crazy and no one wants her kid. She said she was exhausted and had been drinking energy drinks all night but she was crashing and tried to put him in my arms again.
I said “This is exactly why you should’ve just stayed tf at home. I told you from jump I’m not doing sh**. You already forced your way here now you’re just gonna have to figure it out.” She said “Seriously? I’m exhausted I can barely even keep my eyes open“ I said “Then go to sleep“ and closed my eyes. She knew what the terms were.
We made it there but later mom asked if she really raised me to be so cold towards my sister. She told me she had broken down and had a mental meltdown. I said I love my sister but she should grow up and stop being so dramatic about a situation she put herself in.
She said it wouldn’t have hurt to help her even just a little. I told her I didn’t help her make the baby and she should’ve known something could go wrong when traveling.
We got back a week ago and haven’t spoken to each other at all but she texted me today how hurt she was and she feels like I don’t care about her or my nephew at all. I told her she knew what she was getting into when she begged to come and imposed on my trip.
She said she thought I would’ve changed my mind when I realized we would have to sleep in the airport and that she would’ve done it for me. I said “Your kid. You’re responsibility.” I might be willing to just apologize to shut her up if people say I’m the AH.
Let's see what Reddit users had to say.
dragonfly writes:
NTA. No, her sister tried to guilt trip her into taking care of her baby when she previously agreed to not get her involved.
Not everyone wants to be responsible for someone's baby, even if it's family. Her sister should have stayed home and she knew it too.
apothcrytic writes:
YTA. You are not obligated to include your sister in your travel plans although I do think that, in theory, it sounds like a nice idea to visit your parents together. Nothing wrong with a little family get together.
In reality though, you sound terribly cold like your mother said. Do you hate your sister? Do you hate your nephew? You sound like you do. It wouldn't kill you to be a tiny bit helpful, especially in extenuating circumstances. What's your problem?
If that's how you were going to act, your answer should have been a hard no when your sister asked to tag along.
Had she known that's how you were going to act, I'm certain she wouldn't have asked. You took a great opportunity to spend quality time with your sister and her sweet baby and shat all over it. YTA.
melodypowers writes:
There are times where I think she should step in. Like if they are delayed and they are both awake and the sister says 'will you please just watch the baby for 10 minutes so I can pee?' That's a reasonable request and it would be kind of shitty to say no. But 'you stay awake in the airport so I can sleep' is beyond.
But the plane seems like the least important part. The actual visit to the parents is the real impact, isn't it? It's not the baby's fault, but whenever there is a baby, it will become the focus of attention. Suddenly the OP's visit to the parents is just a baby trip.
Anyway, NTA although the OP sounds kind of mean in how she expressed herself.