When this woman feels embarrassed about her behavior on holiday, she asks Reddit:
Last week I (40F UK) went on holiday to Lanzarote with husband Dan and two kids (14G 10B) Independently our friends Helen and Graham were going to the same resort with their two girls (9, 7) We didn’t make any formal plans to meet but said we might arrange dinner while we were there.
One day we were on the beach by the edge of the sea, paddling and playing bat and ball. I was topless. I always go topless on holiday if local laws allow. I’ve done it since around the age of 14, my mum and sisters did too. I know it’s a contentious issue especially in the US where people can be very prudish but it’s just a totally normal non-sexual thing for me. In Europe it’s very common and there were lots of topless women on the beach that day.
(I'm anticipating certain questions here. No I am not a nudist. No I don't parade around naked at home in front of my kids or their friends. I just sunbathe topless on holidays and in my garden. The kids don't bat an eyelid but if I got any inclination it was a problem for them, I likely wouldn't do it.)
Helen and Graham’s kids appeared unexpectedly and ran up to us. I looked round and Helen and Graham were there too. We greeted them. I gave each of them a kiss on the cheek as I always do when I greet my friends. We stood and chatted while the kids played but Helen seemed quiet. Her girls asked me to play bat and ball with them. I said yes but Helen abruptly said they had to go. Kids were disappointed but Dan suggested meeting later for dinner. Graham accepted.
Later I got a text from Helen to cancel dinner. She was upset with me for not putting a top on when we saw them. (Quote) “Would it have killed you to put your t*ts away when we arrived?” She was angry that I’d kissed Graham while topless and that I was going to play bat and ball with her kids with my (quote) “bare boobs swinging around”. And later her two girls were giggling about (quote) “Sarah’s massive wobbly boobs”. She said she didn’t want to see me that night.
I was upset. I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong given that we were on a beach where loads of women had their boobs out. I didn’t have a chance to cover up. The first I knew of their presence was when they were up close and had already seen I was topless. I’d have had to walk past them 50 foot up the beach to our towels etc to put on a top. It would have been like shutting the stable door after the horse had bolted.
I replied that I was sorry she was upset and that I'd made her angry. Since getting home I’ve texted her again but have had no response. Dan has seen Graham who said he wasn’t upset about it, but he and Helen had argued afterwards when she accused him of enjoying the view too much. Apparently I traumatized him. What??
Dan thinks I didn’t do anything wrong. We weren’t expecting to see them. There were other topless women their kids could giggle at and for Graham to feast his eyes on if that’s what he really was doing (and by the way, neither of us think he was) But I’m sorry I’ve upset my friend and wonder if I'm an AH. AITA?
Unpopular opinion but YTA. You weren’t breaking any laws being topless. However, when your friends and their children come up to you… you shouldn’t greet and kiss them while being almost naked. Especially to someone else’s husband and minor kids. It’s weird.
NTA you and your 'massive wobbly boobs' can do whatever you damn well please as long as the local laws allow. If she had a problem with it, she shouldn't have come up to you in the first place. She surely should have noticed you were topless from afar, before approaching.
NTA for sure . But a lot of people are throwing a lot of shade at the other women. We don’t know what is really going on in their marriage. Maybe OP hit a nerve , and perhaps Graham is a pathological oogler , and this is just the tit that broke the camel’s back .
OP should just archive this couple with other people from the past , and not insist too much . Sounds like they are going through some shit. Maybe they’ll call when they’ve cooled down and come to their senses.