When this bride to be is upset with her mother, she asks Reddit:
My mom has a tendency to be very reactive. she is also extremely superstitious and sentimental. I am not. I am currently planning a wedding and we are both broke students, so it is pretty low budget. My MIL asked if I wanted her wedding dress. She got married in 2019 and it lasted nine months.
I'd refer to the wedding as some type of internal crisis where she believed she had to be married by 40, and was trying to make another man jealous. She cried the morning of the wedding, and kissed her boss on the lips in front of the groom. She is now very bitterly divorced, but happily living with her boss.
MIL offered me the dress, and hey it's a beautiful dress. We are the same size and it is from a bridal boutique I could never afford. I'm happy and not at all worried about her failed marriage. my mom told me she thought it was a horrible idea and the dress would bring haunted bad energy.
I said I'm not into that stuff and I'm going to wear it. She called me spoiled and materialistic, and cited that MIL doesn't even like me (MIL doesn't really like anyone but her boss, but I'd say she likes me well enough) and that MIL disapproves of the wedding (she thinks we are too young, but she isn't that invested) I told my mom that I get where she is coming from, but I am wearing it.
Well my mom came over recently and she f**** stole the dress. I called her and confronted her, and she said that she is disappointed that I am shallow and want to wear a dress from an adulteress with a failed marriage.
I told her she had 2 hours to return it or I was calling the cops. She did return it intact, but I said she is banned from my house forever. My mom did apologize and she cried. she feels like since the dress is ok I am being too harsh.
She cited that if I have kids it wouldn't be fair to keep her banned, and said I should understand that this is hard for her and when your kids grow up there are always 'growing pains.' AITA?
NTA. I would have done the same thing. It is a second-hand dress and it is up to YOU if you want to wear it or not, not your mother.
Unless she is willing to shell out for you to get a nice dress, then she has no right to tell you what to do and even if she was willing, she has no right to steal your things. Be very careful and tell all your caterers that your mother is not above interfering without permission in case she tries something else.
Theft is theft. No one has any say on a bride's wardrobe but the bride. Blood ties do not grant diplomatic immunity to either of these rules. She should have thought about grandkid time before stealing from her daughter. NTA and congratulations, OP! So glad you got the dress back.
Trust me, if MIL gave you her wedding dress, she likes you - maybe she's just one of those people who isn't good at showing it, hasn't yet adjusted to the idea of her kid being married to you, or it's the effects of the misogynistic trauma of her past manifesting.
NTA. Growing pains don't justify robbing her own daughter. It sounds like this isn't just about superstition; it sounds like she dislikes your MIL and therefore doesn't want you to wear her dress.