When this woman is feeling weird about her son's behavior towards his ex, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for helping my son's ex and her kids?'
My son lives with me which is fine, he is 35 but I have a big house and I appreciate the company and occasional help around the house. Previously he lived with his ex girlfriend (Kira) who he had two children with.
I love my grandsons and was very blessed that even from pregnancy that Kira let me be very involved as her mother died when she was very young and she doesn’t have much family as she bounced around the foster system.
Early on even before the kids we became close and I viewed her as a daughter which my son encouraged. Last year while Kira was pregnant with their second they split up. My son blames Kira but I know from living with him and being a close support that it is at best 50/50.
Once they split my son decided he didn’t want anything to do with Kira or the kids and his previously encouraged and embraced view of our friendship turned and he wanted me to have nothing to do with Kira or the kids. I told him no. I was going to continue to be a big part of my grandkids and Kira’s life.
This has caused some friction but we mostly operate on a don’t ask don’t tell. Once a week I go to Kira’s to see the kids usually after I go grocery shopping. My son always gives me a list of what he wants and then I get that plus what I want and what I use to cook for us during the week ( I do all the cooking for me and my son but he often doesn’t eat my food and opts for the ready made stuff he asks me to get him instead if that matters)...
and I always ask Kira if she needs anything. She usually says no but I still always bring some fruits and veggies. She likes the same food I do so I also will sometimes bring her part of what I get for myself if I know it’s too much for me to eat during the week.
An example is salmon. My son hates fish but Kira and the kids love it. So I’ll get a big one and portion it at Kira’s and then bring home what I will eat for myself. Friday my son saw the receipt from the groceries and was irate how much the salmon cost for the amount I got.
I told him the truth that I have 2/3rds of the salmon to Kira. He blew up and demanded I stop buying her groceries or if I continue he wants the same amount spent on him. The thing is I get him everything he asks for. It’s just a box of pizza pops is less money than salmon. I also tend to get organic produce for myself and Kira and the boys but my son refuses to eat certain things if they are “organic”. AITA?
Let's find out.
lavaplane7 writes:
Omg NTA. Your son is totally taking advantage of you and has no say whatsoever as to how you spend your money or time. I think it's time he finds his own place and takes responsibility for himself and his children!!!
comfortabletable9 writes:
NTA for buying her groceries, NTA for helping Kira out and NTA remaining in her life and your grandchildrens life and NTA for supporting her and her family. Im sure sure needs it.
However.... Your son is the biggest and worst type of AH there is. He is a classic deadbeat. Dropping his kids, regardless of who the blame is on. He is also an AH for living in mommys basement, having mommy buy his groceries and getting mad that MOMMY is taking care of HIS kids. Finally... YTA for support this DEADBEAT behavior. SHAME ON YOU!.
uhwhatever8 writes:
Tell his girlfriend to sue him for child support. You shouldn’t be spending to feed his kids- he should. NTA, but you need to start teaching your son consequences. At 35 he shouldn’t be acting like this.