"AITA for not helping to 'advance my sister’s dream'?"
I own and run a bakery. I was sick of working a job with long hours with no thanks for it. I baked whenever I was off and sold it sometimes and it took off. After being miserable for years and long discussions with my husband, we decided I should at least try and follow baking full time.
I did this for a year and I had relative success but could not keep up with the demand of just selling from out of the house. It was a huge gamble but we decided to open a bakery by renting out a retail unit and investing our life savings. It finally paid off and after five years, it’s a successful small business and we’ve actually made our money back. I run a small shop with 6 staff and I am a lot happier.
My bakery has a dining area for customers. We do the standard treats like cakes etc. but also morning rolls, sandwiches. I have also hosted local events in conjunction with local groups. For example, stuff like holding knitting nights, crafting nights etc.
I’ll either stay open a little later or allow them specific time slots. I do this all for free as it’s a space for people to enjoy something and meet people and they always buy cakes and treats so it’s not hurting anybody.
Basically, if it’s reasonable I don’t mind holding events or promoting specific events via flyers or stuff but I will not let other people sell in here. My bakery is solely there to sell things from my bakery and I do not wish to have other businesses trying to solicit sales from within mine.
My sister has got into making crystals and jewellery. She is not having much luck and has told me it is her ‘destiny’ to do this after taking some classes. Anyway, she has asked if she can promote her business within my cafe. She wants to show samples and try and get some sales. I told her no and she says I’m a hypocrite as I let other people host things in my bakery.
I told her they are local events to bring the community together, most often people who are lonely and that if I ever promote or support a local cause or business, it’s via by displaying flyers inside or over social media or something. None of this involves them selling stuff from my bakery.
I also emphasised that the hobby groups only buy food sometimes and they come with crafting items or stuff and to meet with friends. Also emphasised my belief in supporting local businesses by displaying adverts for them but there’s a difference between doing that and allowing them to sell in my premises.
She told me to 'f**# off' that I’m a heartless AH who is not willing to help out another local business owner and advance her dream. My husband thinks she is delusional. My parents are on my back asking me to break my rule just once so my sister can reach more potential customers.
I did offer to display a poster/flyer for my sister if she had one to promote her but she refused. Idk if it’s relevant but she quit her job as a lawyer to follow this dream. She was a very successful one but said she was miserable working her cases and was willing to sacrifice the pay for her happiness.
I do love and support her trying to make a career change, I just don’t want her selling in my premises. She is 42 btw and I’m 39F. Perhaps there’s a little bit of resentment she’s trying to do what I did and she isn’t having success but idk. AITA for not helping her?
Info from OP after the initial post:
ETA: I did offer to display a poster/flyer for my sister if she had one to promote her but she refused. Idk if it’s relevant but she quit her job as a lawyer to follow this dream. She was a very successful one but said she was miserable working her cases and was willing to sacrifice the pay for her happiness.
I do love and support her trying to make a career change, I just don’t want her selling in my premises. She is 42 btw and I’m 39F. Perhaps there’s a little bit of resentment she’s trying to do what I did and she isn’t having success but idk.
ETA 2: idk if it’s relevant but my sister worked in criminal law. Very well paid job and she was extremely successful at it but the cases were very heavy sometimes and it drained on her. She is also trying to launch a legitimate business, not an MLM I don’t think.
I think she just wants to try and make a crafting business that stemmed from liking the classes she took run by a legitimate local hobby group. I also did not ask her any legal advice related to my business as it’s a completely different field to what she has experience in.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
littlemarth1504 writes:
NTA. Business and family shouldn't mingle, IMO. I also don't see a connection between crystals/jewelry and a bakery. People entering a bakery are most likely not there shopping for jewelry.
specialistright77 writes:
NTA. You, as the owner of the bakery, make the rules and they're consistent: nothing for sale from outside businesses. Makes sense. Personally, I would never buy crystals or craft jewellery (ever, but that's just me) from a bakery.
In fact, if a bakery sold that stuff, I wouldn't buy food from it either. Your sister's dream is hers. She has to work hard to achieve it, just as you did for your bakery.
corporateoculus writes:
NTA. If someone was 'promoting' their jewelry while I was trying to have a sandwich and a cup of coffee, I would be pretty annoyed and never step foot in the shop again. People do not want a hard sell ever and they don't go to a bakery to buy jewelry.
As a customer, I get really annoyed to be solicited at a store to buy thing totally unrelated to the store. Don't do it. It could impact your business negativity. NTA