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Woman tells coworker the 'real' reason she won't sit next to him in the office.

Woman tells coworker the 'real' reason she won't sit next to him in the office.


When this woman is annoyed with her coworker, she asks Reddit:

'AITA for refusing to sit next to a co worker ?'

I 22F work an office job. I'm very friendly and I get along with everyone, I would personally say I'm friends with most of my co workers with the exception of Jay 31M.

I don't have anything personal against him but I'm asthmatic and I have a VERY sensitive nose and for the lack of better words Jay stinks.

It's not that he's not taking care of himself but the cologne he uses is absolutely horrendous in my opinion and he sweats a lot, so he always smells strongly of cologne, sweat and sometimes garlic since he often eats it raw in the lunch area.

I never said anything to him about it since it's not my place but I'll generally try to avoid sitting too close to him unless it's work related.

Recently Jay started to become a lot more friendly towards me, some co worker told me that he has a crush on me but I don't know if that's true.

This resoluted in him trying to sit next to me during meeting, on lunch breaks and trying to hang around my cubicle whenever possible.

I tried to politely endure it at first but as the weather got hotter his smell got even worse to the point where I start to have gag reflexes when I'm around him for too long.

Now whenever he sits next to me I just give him a polite smile, move away and make myself look busy, hoping he'll get the hint.

This week we had a particulary bad heat wave in my city, and like every week Jay again tried to sit next to me but this time I couldn't endure his smell for even a moment so I would just stand up and move.

Yesterday he confronted me about it saying he's hurt by my actions and asked me why I was acting that way towards him. When I gave him a vague answer he didn't believe me and got even closer to me, at this point I couldn't control my gag reflex and almost vomited on him.

He looked hurt and asked me if I thought he stinked, I didn't answer and just told him that he's making me uncomfortable and asked him to please step away from me.

Today I'm off work but I got a text from another co worker that I deeply hurt Jay feelings and now he's super self conscious of his smell.

I'm starting to feel bad and I don't know if I'm the asshole in this situation, but at the same time I don't know what I could've done differently. AITA?

Let's find out.

whitestaunton writes:

NTA. If he is eliciting a gag reflex in you there is nothing you can actually do about that….it’s a reflex it is by nature uncontrollable.

Eating raw garlic or any other very strongly smelling food that will seep through your body at work is antisocial, as is wearing excessive amounts of cologne or perfume. He could also invest in a stronger deodorant.

You have made it clear through your actions that you are not interested in him. He is continuing to push himself on you. He is being a pest. Weaponising colleagues to try to force you to like him is harassment.

This is a work environment and his refusal to take a hint that you are not interested in him is actually massively inappropriate.. Jay is obviously doesn’t actually think about anyone but himself or he would be more aware…so your “dislike” is well founded.

You may need to be blunt with your colleagues. You do find the way he smells offensive and his insistence on trying to be near you after you have made it clear you are not interested is inappropriate and makes you uncomfortable.

No one would expect you to put up with this kind of behaviour if you were male.

zelaida writes:

Ignoring the first 2 points,even if the smell was not the issue, his behavior is unacceptable. Being pushy when shown the lack of interest on the other side, no matter what the reason is, is harassment.

OP, NTA . Tell your colleague that it is not their business to get involved, but explain that you felt harassed by this guy. Don’t focus only on bad smell, explain unwanted attention as well.

Same message to the guy himself. If shameful he is playing the victim. Tell him you believe he is nice guy probably BUT you are not interesting in him and to leave you alone ( in addition to try to work on his smell issue- you surely aren’t the only one in the office that noticed)

Well, looks like OP is NTA. Do you have any advice for her?

Sources: Reddit
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