Bride-to-be attacks mother when she tries to control her wedding guest list.
When this woman is annoyed with her mom, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for not letting my mom control my wedding?'
So I’m getting married in April 2023. We are about to send out invitations and I asked my mom for a list of family and a few friends she would like to invite.
My fiancé and I already have a list of 135 people, and said we only wanted immediate family (grandparents, aunts/uncles, and 1st cousins). Our immediate families are included in our list.
My mom comes back with an additional 61 family members to invite and 80 (!!) of her friends. Our venue max is 200 people, but we wanted to keep it under 150 for both budget and only want people we both know.
I told her we will not be inviting all of those people, and that she has 20 additional spots. She and my dad threw a huge fit & told me if I was going to be like this, I should just get married in Vegas without anyone there.
Then they tried to guilt trip me saying I would hurt these family member’s feelings and can never repair the relationship… I’ve talked to my extended family maybe 3 times in my life. There is no relationship.
So, AITA for putting my foot down and not letting my mom invite an extra 120 people to my wedding?
Let's find out.
nomnom83 writes:
NTA. First off, you and your fiance should only invite the people you want to invite. Full stop.
Then there's the logistics of 'where would these people even fit?' (Narrator: They won't.) Then there's the matter of the budget, which would increase by a very hefty amount. There's just no rationale here.
And so what if some extended family member's feelings are hurt and you can 'never repair' a relationship that doesn't even exist?
Stick to the 20 guests limit and tell your parents that if they want to party at a wedding with 120 people, they are welcome to renew their vows.
nosurprisemystery writes:
NTA. I've seen bs like this A LOT over the years of bridal hair and makeup and it amazes me how many couples crumble under ridiculously inappropriate pressure.
If you are stuck on making her happy while maintaining your budget/boundary the only reasonable solution would be allowing her to invite them AFTER she foots the bill for each invitation and head count/meal/seat charge (however you are being charged) outside of your approved guest list.
sagbironan writes:
Yes! OP is definitely NTA here. You should never invite someone who needs to have the bride/groom pointed out to them.
The guests should be who you want to celebrate your day with, not people who you have a tenuous connection with and will never see again.
Stick to the 20 person limit and explain to your parents the venue capacity and your desire to keep it to 150 people.