Pregnant stepmom gives stepdaughter food she's allergic to, says, 'I was tricked.'
When this pregnant stepmom is guilty and concerned, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for giving my stepdaughter a food she's allergic to?'
I (25F) am married to my husband Richard (42M). He has two identical twin daughters with his ex-wife who are 9 years old. For the purpose of this post, I'll call them Isabelle and Maria.
I struggle to tell the girls apart so my husband gave Isabelle a pink wrist band and Maria a blue one so I could tell them apart.
I'm currently 5 months pregnant with our son and one of my biggest cravings is snickers bars. This is an issue because Maria is allergic to nuts, so I usually eat them in my car, our bedroom or the backyard to avoid contamination.
Maria's allergy is quite severe and she knows she isn't supposed to eat anything with nuts in them.
On Friday, I was sat in my bedroom going ham on some mini snickers bars while watching Netflix when one of the twins came in my room. I asked who she was and she said she was Isabelle and she asked to come sit by me.
I didn't even know she was at home but she told me that her dad dropped her off with the keys and he went back to work which is something he does often without telling me. I checked the wrist band to make sure it was Isabelle and she had a pink one so I didn't think twice and I let her sit by me.
She took a piece of chocolate from me and ate it which to me confirmed I was with Isabelle because Maria knows she's not supposed to have Snickers. Turns out I was wrong and the girls had swapped wrist bands to play a joke on me and she immediately started experiencing a reaction.
Thankfully I had an epi pen and I drove her to the ER and called my husband. He called their mother who was infuriated and she started yelling at me in the ER waiting area and I ended up having a panic attack.
Maria ended up being fine and the girls came clean about wanting to play a prank on me. Maria hasn't had a reaction for the past few years so she's saying she forgot how bad and serious they were.
My husband is on my side and he's saying that the Maria is old enough to know she shouldn't be eating any nut products and it's not my fault I thought she was Isabelle but their mother is saying that I shouldn't have any nut products in the house that could tempt Maria and since I struggle to tell them apart, the smart thing wouldve been for me not to allow either of them to have the chocolate.
She's now demanding that the girls aren't to be left alone with me and other family members are berating me for being careless. I just feel so awful and terrible and I would like an unbiased outside perspective on the situation.
AITA for giving my stepdaughter a snickers bar? I'm autistic so I struggle with faces. I am actively trying to memorize their differences.
Let's find out?
verendousaudeo writes:
OP, you are NTA. Not only did you already attempt to confirm which individual you were giving the candy to, but you were explicitly lied to when you did so. Maria knowingly ingested a nut product under her own volition.
She is not a wild animal who can’t control herself if you have nuts in the house. Honestly, are they going to keep her on a leash in the grocery store because she might be tempted by the peanut butter? 9 years old is old enough to start managing her own allergy.
environmentalart98 writes:
They pulled a parent trap bit on a smaller scale. While I wouldn't rule out the mum entirely, it wouldn't be my go-to on this one.
I had twim for friends in kindergarten, and all of us kids could tell them apart, but none of the adults could. I did have trouble for a little while when we reconnected in high school, but that was only until I started noticing how their personalities were shown through their clothing and hair styles.
OP is NTA, they tricked her, and she thought she was home alone, plus cravings in pregnancy usually point towards dietary deficiency so she can't exactly clear the house of something she is craving.
sweetheartatheart writes:
The whole thing about not being old enough to remember their allergies is absurd. OP did try to double check and it sounds like she also has facial blindness. I have an EXTENSIVE list of allergies that can be pretty severe.
I’ve had them since I was young. I can concede to not being great with remembering all of them at around 6, or 7 but at 9, she needs to start being responsible about her allergies because it is life or death.
The prank was silly and I’m sure they meant to have fun but it should have ended when the snickers was involved. I teach currently and I give candy as a reward. My kids are all 5-12 with most being 5-7. They all ask their parents first if they can have it or remember their allergies.
I’ll double check with them every time and with their parents to check if I think they’re super young but it’s never been a problem because they all know allergies are serious and if they’re unsure, they always ask a knowing adult first.
just wanted to add, some of my students who know they’re allergic will always ask if the candy they picked out of the jar has nuts or not. Some just remember because they hate nuts anyways. I always keep dum dums on hand too so it’s not an issue of them keeping nut candy anyways if they’re afraid of missing out.