If you're a parent, you know how tough it can be to bring your kid out in public, especially when they're young. What if they say something weird that makes strangers uncomfortable? And they most certainly will.
Plus, anything your kid says is a total reflection on you, the innocent parent! These internet users took to Reddit to share the most hilarious (and humiliating) things their kids have said in public. Take a look!
I'm certain of it but I was suffering from acute tunnel vision at the time so I have no idea who or how many.
We had people over and my daughter was playing with her dolls and dollhouse and said 'sorry but only straight people' are allowed in her playhouse. Both her dad and I are gay men. We quickly figured out she meant to say 'skinny people' because it had a tiny door. On both accounts she was correct because neither my husband or I are toddler sized or heterose*ual.
She is a trip. I love this kid. -bleedingheart1996
'Get your hands offa me!' immediately followed by 'Ouch! You hurt my vulva!' as I picked her up to leave the park. - act006
When my son was 2 or 3 he told a pregnant person they must have eaten a REALLY big meal that day.
He also always asks me if I’m pooping when he goes into a public restroom with me, but he can’t just ask me normally, he has to shout it so that everyone in the rest of the store can hear him. - the17featherfound
My son with ADHD blurts out all kinds of things. But one memorable comment was in line behind an overweight woman at the grocery store (I’m also overweight)- He said loudly, “Mom, her butt is bigger than yours!” - lalapine
“Mom, i need to poop!” He shouted, while i was waiting in line to get some take out and he was sitting down in the waiting area. 5 seconds later “ false alarm! It was a fart!” - wowxer86
Had that happening with my 4yo: “look mum, he did not eat his vegetables so he did not grow!” I wanted to disappear into the ground lol - notthegreenestthumb
Norway has a monopoly selling alcohol stronger than beer. So it's just the one government shop that sells wine and booze.
There was a family there and a mum who was looking at some fancy wine (amarone in the 100 dollar range) and her toddler squealed 'My mummy LOOOVES wine! She drinks it aaaaaaall the time. My mummy loves all of these gesticulating to the entire shelf'.
The mum looked like she was about to drop dead from embarrassment. -midi5876
Not my kid but my younger brother liked to pick up our landline phone when our mom was not around and tell the caller 'mommy is not around because she's pooping now' while my mom was actually doing dishes or laundry or whatever - mitsukusan87
“My mommy and daddy have Covid 19”… said at a playground probably about 1.5 years ago. One of the first times we got to enjoy the outdoors since lockdown and there were other cautious parents with their kids there.
Not too packed so we were sufficiently spread out. We immediately said no we actually don’t but like who’s gonna believe that? He was not yet 3 years old at the time lol. -summersday88
At the grocery store:
3yo daughter: “Why do we eat broccoli?”; Me: “So that you can grow and be big and strong.”; 3yo: “So I can grow?”; Me: “Yes.”
3yo (now shrieking in delight): “SO MY NIPPLES CAN GROW BIGGER AND BIGGER LIKE YOURS?!” -discorice
My daughter had a yeast infection and I made the mistake of taking her to the pharmacy with me instead of leaving her with Dad. For perspective she is 4 and VERY loud.
Me talking to the pharmacist- she yells 'are you talking about my vagina?'
Walking down the isle to get the medicine for her 'is there medicine for my vagina here?'
Stopping to read the dawn package 'is this the one we are getting for my vagina?'
To say it was the most embarrassing trip to the pharmacy I've ever had is an understatement.
Bonus: when my 6 year old was 4 he would always and I mean ALWAYS point out when people had different skin colour.
'Mom she has black skin' 'my friend is brown' duuuuuude please.... my soul left my body everytime. - lovinitup93
My almost 5yo daughter said “fuck it” a few weeks ago when we had company visiting.
She was pissed off that I wouldn’t stop & make curtains for the doll house she thought she could make using nothing but construction paper.
The feeling was mutual. -kveach
My oldest was super into cars as a toddler and one time when he was 2 or 3, someone in public was in a wheelchair, and when they started leaving, he yelled “BYE WHEELS!”
Oddly enough he was the shyest kid - so where the hell that outburst came from? I do not know. -eighteighty
Not my kid but my grandma only has one arm. There is a small amount of arm left (like 6 inches) of the one she lost. I watched a little boy and his brother walk up to her. The first boy says 'where'd your arm go?'
And the other boy looks up her sleeve and says 'look! Look! She just has a little arm!'
Parent: mortified. My grandma: laughing so hard... -thebumblingbee12
My daughter was just under 2 when in a public park she sat on damp grass and then yelled at me 'WIPE OFF MY PENIS!' (she has an older brother). So same lack of shame, but less correct anatomy naming - treple13