Parenting

<h2>&quot;What are taxes?&quot; &quot;Why is water wet?&quot; &quot;Do fish sing along to whale songs underwater?&quot;</h2><p>Kids, while adorable, can be brutally honest filter-free creatures with enough questions to drive any calm person toward a dirty dive bar. So, if you could certainly use a laugh to distract you from the chaos of your daily routine, here are the funniest tweets we could find from parents who are brave enough to tell the truth on the internet.</p><h2>1.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Welcome to motherhood. <br><br>You now have a rock collection. <br><br>It’s in your purse.</p>&mdash; Jessie (@mommajessiec) <a href="https://twitter.com/mommajessiec/status/1633134085685100545?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 7, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>2.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Legit call from the school: <br><br>Principal: I just wanted to touch base with you. Your daughter was baiting seagulls into the playground with gummy worms and actually caught one; Like in her arms. It did bite her—not hard, but I needed to inform you that we filed an incident report</p>&mdash; who cares (@DianaG2772) <a href="https://twitter.com/DianaG2772/status/1633481315772166144?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 8, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>3.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I’m a mom of 3 and the truth is I DO have a favorite child. It’s my 3YO nephew who called me a “beautiful flower” then ate the breakfast I made with no complaints.</p>&mdash; Not the Nanny (@not_thenanny) <a href="https://twitter.com/not_thenanny/status/1633681300694478853?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 9, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>4.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My 6yo told me he&#39;s the main character of our family. I guess self-confidence isn&#39;t a thing he struggles with.</p>&mdash; Raw Motherhood (@MetteAngerhofer) <a href="https://twitter.com/MetteAngerhofer/status/1633564480234991616?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 8, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>5.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My kid doesn&#39;t eat pasta with a little parmesan. He eats parmesan with a little pasta.</p>&mdash; Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) <a href="https://twitter.com/kevinthedad/status/1632216156391067650?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 5, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>6.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Whenever I ask my 2yo how he slept, he says, “in bed, eyes closed.” And you know what? He’s not wrong.</p>&mdash; MumOfTwo (@MumOfTw0) <a href="https://twitter.com/MumOfTw0/status/1626177695070420995?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 16, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>7.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">my husband and i are teaching the kids basic chores like putting their plates in the dishwasher and doing laundry…i feel a brand new life unfolding right before my eyes</p>&mdash; That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) <a href="https://twitter.com/mom_tho/status/1633494582993334272?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 8, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>8.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My son just asked me if the 90’s were a thousand years ago and I want to throw up.</p>&mdash; walmartshakira (@its_justlyssa) <a href="https://twitter.com/its_justlyssa/status/1635143912586354688?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 13, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>9.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">We went to a museum and I fell in love with my kids all over again after seeing an obnoxious exhibit called other kids</p>&mdash; Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) <a href="https://twitter.com/Chhapiness/status/1634172279398514688?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 10, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>10.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Being a working parent is crazy sometimes. <br><br>One minute, I’m talking to the CEO of a multinational conglomerate about how to navigate a crisis, and the next, I’m explaining to daycare why my 2yo needs to be able to bring his polar bear to the potty.</p>&mdash; MumOfTwo (@MumOfTw0) <a href="https://twitter.com/MumOfTw0/status/1633205169528741892?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 7, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>11.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">If you’re on the fence about getting your kid a cellphone, my MIL stopped calling me and calls my kid instead</p>&mdash; I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) <a href="https://twitter.com/IHideFromMyKids/status/1633441708120653826?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 8, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>12.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My son walked into the kitchen and said I bet you don’t know what 47 divided by by 4 is and when I told him 11 remainder 3 he said thanks and walked back to the room he was doing his homework in. It was a smooth transition. But now I understand the play and it won’t happen again.</p>&mdash; devon sawa (@DevonESawa) <a href="https://twitter.com/DevonESawa/status/1634027607439335424?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 10, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>13.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">8:45 pm, Thursday, it&#39;s dark and quiet in the cul-de-sac <br><br>Me: I can&#39;t wait to crawl in bed early<br><br>My first grader: Mom, I need to dress like Milton Hershey tomorrow and hand out limited edition Hershey Kisses with personalized messages</p>&mdash; mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) <a href="https://twitter.com/meantomyself/status/1633999911954857984?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 10, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>14.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">What’s a time you felt like you were in a horror movie? <br><br>For me: Right after I had baby #2 I awoke to my 3yr old standing by the bed. And he whispered, “That baby isn’t your baby. It’s a bad baby, your baby is in a van on the way to the airport. That’s a very bad baby” And left.</p>&mdash; Allison Sanchez (@_A_Sanch) <a href="https://twitter.com/_A_Sanch/status/1633847743927160833?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 9, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>15.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Ruin your teenagers day by looking in their general direction.</p>&mdash; Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) <a href="https://twitter.com/dadmann_walking/status/1632076394116046851?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 4, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>16.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My 3-year-old&#39;s favorite game is Restaurant which just entails her putting on a chef&#39;s hat and me ordering dessert and no matter what I order she says, &quot;We don&#39;t have that.&quot;</p>&mdash; Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) <a href="https://twitter.com/missmulrooney/status/1632754215104724997?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 6, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2> </h2><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

16 of the funniest tweets from parents who dared to be honest about raising kids.

&quot;What are taxes?&quot; &quot;Why is water wet?&quot; &quot;Do fish sing along to whale songs underwater?&quot;Kids, while adorable, can be brutally honest filter-free creatures with enough questions to drive any calm person toward a dirty dive bar. So, if you could certainly use a laugh to distract you from the chaos of your daily routine, here are the funniest tweets we could find from parents who are brave enough to tell the truth on the internet.1.Welcome to motherhood. You now have a rock collection. It’s in your purse.&mdash; Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 7, 2023 2.Legit call from the school: Principal: I just wanted to touch base with you. Your daughter was baiting seagulls into the playground with gummy worms and actually caught one; Like in her arms. It did bite her—not hard, but I needed to inform you that we filed an incident report&mdash; who cares (@DianaG2772) March 8, 2023 3.I’m a mom of 3 and the truth is I DO have a favorite child. It’s my 3YO nephew who called me a “beautiful flower” then ate the breakfast I made with no complaints.&mdash; Not the Nanny (@not_thenanny) March 9, 2023 4.My 6yo told me he&#39;s the main character of our family. I guess self-confidence isn&#39;t a thing he struggles with.&mdash; Raw Motherhood (@MetteAngerhofer) March 8, 2023 5.My kid doesn&#39;t eat pasta with a little parmesan. He eats parmesan with a little pasta.&mdash; Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) March 5, 2023 6.Whenever I ask my 2yo how he slept, he says, “in bed, eyes closed.” And you know what? He’s not wrong.&mdash; MumOfTwo (@MumOfTw0) February 16, 2023 7.my husband and i are teaching the kids basic chores like putting their plates in the dishwasher and doing laundry…i feel a brand new life unfolding right before my eyes&mdash; That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) March 8, 2023 8.My son just asked me if the 90’s were a thousand years ago and I want to throw up.&mdash; walmartshakira (@its_justlyssa) March 13, 2023 9.We went to a museum and I fell in love with my kids all over again after seeing an obnoxious exhibit called other kids&mdash; Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) March 10, 2023 10.Being a working parent is crazy sometimes. One minute, I’m talking to the CEO of a multinational conglomerate about how to navigate a crisis, and the next, I’m explaining to daycare why my 2yo needs to be able to bring his polar bear to the potty.&mdash; MumOfTwo (@MumOfTw0) March 7, 2023 11.If you’re on the fence about getting your kid a cellphone, my MIL stopped calling me and calls my kid instead&mdash; I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) March 8, 2023 12.My son walked into the kitchen and said I bet you don’t know what 47 divided by by 4 is and when I told him 11 remainder 3 he said thanks and walked back to the room he was doing his homework in. It was a smooth transition. But now I understand the play and it won’t happen again.&mdash; devon sawa (@DevonESawa) March 10, 2023 13.8:45 pm, Thursday, it&#39;s dark and quiet in the cul-de-sac Me: I can&#39;t wait to crawl in bed earlyMy first grader: Mom, I need to dress like Milton Hershey tomorrow and hand out limited edition Hershey Kisses with personalized messages&mdash; mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) March 10, 2023 14.What’s a time you felt like you were in a horror movie? For me: Right after I had baby #2 I awoke to my 3yr old standing by the bed. And he whispered, “That baby isn’t your baby. It’s a bad baby, your baby is in a van on the way to the airport. That’s a very bad baby” And left.&mdash; Allison Sanchez (@_A_Sanch) March 9, 2023 15.Ruin your teenagers day by looking in their general direction.&mdash; Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) March 4, 2023 16.My 3-year-old&#39;s favorite game is Restaurant which just entails her putting on a chef&#39;s hat and me ordering dessert and no matter what I order she says, &quot;We don&#39;t have that.&quot;&mdash; Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) March 6, 2023  

&quot;What are taxes?&quot; &quot;Why is water wet?&quot; &quot;Do fish sing along to whale songs underwater?&quot;  Kids, while adorable, can be brutally honest filter-free creatures with enough questions to drive any calm person toward a...