Parenting

<h2>Between the shrill sound of a toddler&#39;s temper tantrum over chicken nuggets having too much chicken in them and attempting to answer questions about the meaning of life when you definitely don&#39;t know--being a parent is a hilarious journey...</h2><p>So, if you could use a cathartic laugh about the chaos of raising children in the &quot;screen time&quot; era, here are the funniest tweets from parents who are in desperate need of a stiff drink and a long vacation.</p><h2>1.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My toddler just sneezed into the fridge, so I have to cancel all of our plans for the next two weeks because my family will be taking turns having the plague.</p>&mdash; One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) <a href="https://twitter.com/oneawkwardmom/status/1627051372914024449?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 18, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>2. </h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said “it means you can go ahead of me” so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday</p>&mdash; I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) <a href="https://twitter.com/IHideFromMyKids/status/1628793048715984897?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 23, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>3. </h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car.</p>&mdash; Simon Holland (@simoncholland) <a href="https://twitter.com/simoncholland/status/1628154484114300928?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 21, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>4. </h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?<br><br>me: no, there&#39;s no oxygen<br><br>5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?<br><br>me: then yes<br><br>5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?<br><br>me: then no<br><br>5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?<br><br>me: is someone paying you to do this?</p>&mdash; Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) <a href="https://twitter.com/HenpeckedHal/status/1628499806086909953?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 22, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>5. </h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I made broccoli and salmon with homemade sugar cookies and the baby just wanted the broccoli and salmon...paternity test coming right up</p>&mdash; Trey (@treydayway) <a href="https://twitter.com/treydayway/status/1627122091840487424?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 19, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>6. </h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My youngest kid just asked “are Taco Bell’s always emo?” I have no idea what made him ask this, but I still knew the answer was yes.</p>&mdash; Casey Crawford (@caseybcrawford) <a href="https://twitter.com/caseybcrawford/status/1624471324398583810?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 11, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>7. </h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My kid just asked me if they had burgers in the 1990s 🤦🏽‍♀️</p>&mdash; allen iversingh (@robinksg) <a href="https://twitter.com/robinksg/status/1620584236263829504?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 1, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>8. </h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My kid just asked me if I was born during WW1 or WW2</p>&mdash; Fillory Clinton (@iatelilly) <a href="https://twitter.com/iatelilly/status/1620548411002093573?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 31, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>9. </h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My kids asked if we were “doing anything today” but little did I know that replying “nope, just hangin out” is the cruelest most offensive act of torture one could ever impose onto a child…<br><br>4 Stars. Definitely recommend.</p>&mdash; DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) <a href="https://twitter.com/StruggleDisplay/status/1629875238493122564?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 26, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>10.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My kid just asked me if “in the 80’s books were in black and white?” I’m 🪦🤣</p>&mdash; Sleepless in SacTown (@LadyOaklandFan) <a href="https://twitter.com/LadyOaklandFan/status/1623186915586605056?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 8, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>11.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Our toddler saw a kangaroo on TV and asked what it was, but before I could answer, my 9-year-old said, &quot;If a rabbit was like a Gameboy, a kangaroo would be a Nintendo Switch,&quot; and that was enough.</p>&mdash; The Dad (@thedad) <a href="https://twitter.com/thedad/status/1630579074262261760?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 28, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>12.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Insta moms are always doing chores with their babies/toddlers in their “day in the life” type videos and it literally took me over to years to be able to do any chores besides maybe unload the dishwasher when my kid was around, is this not normal???</p>&mdash; Lucy Huber (@clhubes) <a href="https://twitter.com/clhubes/status/1629478434786226177?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 25, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>13.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I wish I could put in a request for a day off to my toddler but he’d probably reject it</p>&mdash; kait 🌻☀️🍃✨ (@raisingkaelen) <a href="https://twitter.com/raisingkaelen/status/1629874583498117124?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 26, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>14.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">As I was sitting on the toilet I noticed the door handle start to jiggle and my first thought was &#39;omg an intruder!&#39; but it was just my toddler who had a growth spurt and is now big enough to reach the handles. Unsure which scenario is more terrifying tbh.</p>&mdash; An Apple Hat (@AnAppleHat) <a href="https://twitter.com/AnAppleHat/status/1630567851571703809?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 28, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>15.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">have a kid &amp; you lose all type of privacy, my son just asked me why I locked the door to the restroom lol</p>&mdash; 💋 (@abigailx28_) <a href="https://twitter.com/abigailx28_/status/1630033296930340864?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 27, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>16. </h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because it’s rare and you don’t want to scare them away.</p>&mdash; krista pacion (@kristabellerina) <a href="https://twitter.com/kristabellerina/status/1628024697253253127?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 21, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>17. </h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Me: it’s time to go<br><br>Kids: wait. I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I don’t know where it is</p>&mdash; mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) <a href="https://twitter.com/notmythirdrodeo/status/1627656083656392704?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 20, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>18. </h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I was hiding in a dark corner and my son asked me if I was crying but really I was just eating ice cream.</p>&mdash; themomessence (@themomessence) <a href="https://twitter.com/themomessence/status/1628991921552252929?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 24, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2> </h2><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

18 of the funniest tweets from parents who dared to be honest.

Between the shrill sound of a toddler&#39;s temper tantrum over chicken nuggets having too much chicken in them and attempting to answer questions about the meaning of life when you definitely don&#39;t know--being a parent is a hilarious journey...So, if you could use a cathartic laugh about the chaos of raising children in the &quot;screen time&quot; era, here are the funniest tweets from parents who are in desperate need of a stiff drink and a long vacation.1.My toddler just sneezed into the fridge, so I have to cancel all of our plans for the next two weeks because my family will be taking turns having the plague.&mdash; One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) February 18, 2023 2. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said “it means you can go ahead of me” so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday&mdash; I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) February 23, 2023 3. One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car.&mdash; Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 21, 2023 4. 5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?me: no, there&#39;s no oxygen5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?me: then yes5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?me: then no5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?me: is someone paying you to do this?&mdash; Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) February 22, 2023 5. I made broccoli and salmon with homemade sugar cookies and the baby just wanted the broccoli and salmon...paternity test coming right up&mdash; Trey (@treydayway) February 19, 2023 6. My youngest kid just asked “are Taco Bell’s always emo?” I have no idea what made him ask this, but I still knew the answer was yes.&mdash; Casey Crawford (@caseybcrawford) February 11, 2023 7. My kid just asked me if they had burgers in the 1990s 🤦🏽‍♀️&mdash; allen iversingh (@robinksg) February 1, 2023 8. My kid just asked me if I was born during WW1 or WW2&mdash; Fillory Clinton (@iatelilly) January 31, 2023 9. My kids asked if we were “doing anything today” but little did I know that replying “nope, just hangin out” is the cruelest most offensive act of torture one could ever impose onto a child…4 Stars. Definitely recommend.&mdash; DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) February 26, 2023 10.My kid just asked me if “in the 80’s books were in black and white?” I’m 🪦🤣&mdash; Sleepless in SacTown (@LadyOaklandFan) February 8, 2023 11.Our toddler saw a kangaroo on TV and asked what it was, but before I could answer, my 9-year-old said, &quot;If a rabbit was like a Gameboy, a kangaroo would be a Nintendo Switch,&quot; and that was enough.&mdash; The Dad (@thedad) February 28, 2023 12.Insta moms are always doing chores with their babies/toddlers in their “day in the life” type videos and it literally took me over to years to be able to do any chores besides maybe unload the dishwasher when my kid was around, is this not normal???&mdash; Lucy Huber (@clhubes) February 25, 2023 13.I wish I could put in a request for a day off to my toddler but he’d probably reject it&mdash; kait 🌻☀️🍃✨ (@raisingkaelen) February 26, 2023 14.As I was sitting on the toilet I noticed the door handle start to jiggle and my first thought was &#39;omg an intruder!&#39; but it was just my toddler who had a growth spurt and is now big enough to reach the handles. Unsure which scenario is more terrifying tbh.&mdash; An Apple Hat (@AnAppleHat) February 28, 2023 15.have a kid &amp; you lose all type of privacy, my son just asked me why I locked the door to the restroom lol&mdash; 💋 (@abigailx28_) February 27, 2023 16. Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because it’s rare and you don’t want to scare them away.&mdash; krista pacion (@kristabellerina) February 21, 2023 17. Me: it’s time to goKids: wait. I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I don’t know where it is&mdash; mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) February 20, 2023 18. I was hiding in a dark corner and my son asked me if I was crying but really I was just eating ice cream.&mdash; themomessence (@themomessence) February 24, 2023  

Between the shrill sound of a toddler&#39;s temper tantrum over chicken nuggets having too much chicken in them and attempting to answer questions about the meaning of life when you definitely don&#39;t know--being a parent is a hilarious...