17 of the funniest tweets from parents who never know what their kids will say next.

Jul 22, 2022 | 3:08 PM

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While most parents attempt to answer their child's questions to the best of their ability, sometimes the only way to respond to 'mommy, why is your forehead wrinkly like a witch' is to walk away and hop on Twitter...

So, if you could use some virtual bonding over the challenges and joys of raising kids who often blurt unpredictable, hilarious, brazen, and awkward announcements about life into the void, here are the funniest tweets we could find from parents who are absolutely on the verge.

1.

I asked my daughter if I could get her some cheese with her whine which totally backfired because now I’m serving her cheese while she continues to whine.
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) July 19, 2022

2.

My son just said, “It’s like I’m a King!” after I brought him his drink and he’s not at all helping my argument that I don’t spoil him.
— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) July 21, 2022

3.

My son just pointed at my wife’s freckles and said, “small meatballs” so that’s officially their new name and what I’ll be calling them moving forward.
— Dadof2Boys (@Dadof2crazyboys) July 16, 2022

4.

My son just sniffed a ten-dollar bill and said "hmm, this smells like Chipotle." Pretty sure he was being literal but works either way.
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) July 21, 2022

5.

My son just came to the foot of our bed, projectile puked on my leg, then said “Dad, I have to puke.”

Looks like we’re kicking off the work week at 4am 🚀🤣
— Nick Jones (@JickNones) July 18, 2022

6.

Being a parent is all about tricking your kids. My son wanted the tablet so I cut out a square into some cardboard and faced him towards the street. He thinks he’s watching Fast and Furious right now.
— Samuel J Comroe (@SamuelJComroe) July 22, 2022

7.

A large part of being a parent is your kid doing something completely unhinged and you just being like... Why
— 😼🤰🏻👶🏻bean mom👧🏻😾 (@moominbebby) July 22, 2022

8.

Sometimes my son will say a sentence, clear as a bell, from nowhere. He just looked up from his juice with a philosophical air and said, “Mum, grown-ups don’t have cash to do pottery.”
— Caroline Bird (@CarolineBirdUK) July 22, 2022

9.

My daughter just said the only thing she wants for Christmas this year is a real live phoenix bird. Then said, “a turkey will do, I guess, since fire isn’t really your thing.”
— Silvia Catten (@SilviaCatten) July 20, 2022

10.

My daughter just said “people suck!” 😂 she’s right though
— j ♡ (@jaackiee_bb) July 18, 2022

11.

I asked 14 to do me a favor, and he said, ”okay.” Then deliberately fell face first into the mattress on my bed.

Same kid, same.
— ❤️🎸SheenaRamone🎸❤️ (@PnkRckrSheena) July 19, 2022

12.

I stumbled on my words and instead of asking my kid to turn down the TV volume I accidentally asked her to stop ruining my life
— Jonesy the Beautiful Idiot 🇨🇦🇺🇦💉💉💉 (@VikingJonesy) July 17, 2022

13.

My kid asked what time it is in Australia and now I have a headache.
— Katelyn (@katelynanne) July 17, 2022

14.

My son asked me to see pics of when I was a kid. So I pulled some out to show him and he said, "There was color back then?"

I am currently comparing adoption agencies to see which would best suit his needs. 🙄
— The Michelle Slaughter (@The_Michelle_S) July 20, 2022

15.

Last night, my kid asked me stop being silly and be more of a "professional" mom. So, I handed her a bill for services rendered.
— Mónica "preorder MARIANA & HER FAMILIA" Mancillas (@MonicaMancillas) July 21, 2022

16.

My kid asked me for a burrito but “without all the yucky stuff inside” so I’m pretty sure he wants a tortilla
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) July 18, 2022

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