Parenting

<h2>When a tiny toddler is staring up at you, asking you why your hair today looks like &quot;a spooky witch,&quot; it&#39;s important to remember that being a parent is certainly not for the faint of heart...</h2><p>So, if you&#39;re long overdue for a cathartic laugh today about the hilariously brutal challenges of raising the next generation in all your Cheerio-drenched glory, here are the funniest tweets we could find from parents who are no longer sugar-coating their stories.</p><h2>1.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My son just asked me what&#39;s the opposite of a tiger, Jesus Christ kid it&#39;s not even 9AM.</p>&mdash; Philly Byrne (@PhilipNByrne) <a href="https://twitter.com/PhilipNByrne/status/1619256084069515264?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 28, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>2.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">A child repeatedly and frantically yelling “mom” could mean they are seriously hurt or it could mean they need to tell their mom what their new favorite color is.</p>&mdash; Jessie (@mommajessiec) <a href="https://twitter.com/mommajessiec/status/1618248671530995712?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 25, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>3.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Dads will slam kitchen cabinets and loudly rifle through pots and pans and then whisper-yell at the kids to be quiet because mom’s still sleeping.</p>&mdash; Simon Holland (@simoncholland) <a href="https://twitter.com/simoncholland/status/1617169920105611265?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 22, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>4.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My daughter just asked me how to count to zero. Please help.</p>&mdash; obront.eth (@zachobront) <a href="https://twitter.com/zachobront/status/1620085956320858113?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 30, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>5.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Sorry we’re late, my kid thought he couldn’t go to school with hiccups</p>&mdash; meghan (@deloisivete) <a href="https://twitter.com/deloisivete/status/1618619818101592066?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 26, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>6.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Imagine it&#39;s Sunday morning. You&#39;ve been allowed to sleep in as long as you want, and you have no chores or responsibilities all day. There&#39;s fresh fallen snow on the ground. Your mom makes Cinnamon rolls and serves you breakfast. But you&#39;re almost 3, so you are blind with rage.</p>&mdash; John Smillie (@JohnSmillie42) <a href="https://twitter.com/JohnSmillie42/status/1617181570787430400?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 22, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>7.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Love that my daughter has her own little morning routine (watches a few episodes of Bluey while eating the $60 worth of fruit that I&#39;d hoped would last the entire week)</p>&mdash; Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) <a href="https://twitter.com/missmulrooney/status/1617532993781874688?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 23, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>8.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I have to apologize for pretending to be a good father on here. I treated my 7 yo awful today and I&#39;m not proud of it. I should not have asked him to take a shower this morning after his last shower was 5 days ago. I am sorry for my horrible actions.</p>&mdash; Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) <a href="https://twitter.com/dadmann_walking/status/1617907381857562625?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 24, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>9.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">As a parent you give all your love to this tiny, helpless human and watch in awe and wonder as they grow and come into their own and ignore your desperate cries for toilet paper from the bathroom</p>&mdash; I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) <a href="https://twitter.com/IHideFromMyKids/status/1617975659846066176?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 24, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>10.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">We took our kids out to eat. My 5yo as she put her menu down, &quot;I&#39;ll have the chef&#39;s special.&quot; The waitress with a blank stare, &quot;ummm... we don&#39;t have one.&quot; My 5yo, &quot;guess it&#39;s not a fancy restaurant.&quot; My 5yo always putting me on the spot.</p>&mdash; Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) <a href="https://twitter.com/BunAndLeggings/status/1618039769967251457?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 25, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>11.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My 7YO changed her favorite color to teal, now our four year investment in pink is worth zilch</p>&mdash; Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) <a href="https://twitter.com/Chhapiness/status/1617998779965374464?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 24, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>12.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My kid leaned over, sneezed in my eye, then kissed it and that’s life with toddlers in a nutshell</p>&mdash; One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) <a href="https://twitter.com/oneawkwardmom/status/1618810994557595650?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 27, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>13.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I have a question about toddlers and my question is what the fuck</p>&mdash; The Charmin&#39; Carmen 🇨🇦 (@Charmin_Carmen) <a href="https://twitter.com/Charmin_Carmen/status/1619200720196218880?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 28, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>14.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">my toddler is toddlering so hard today i am gonna cry too</p>&mdash; rinna supremacy (@spicysucculents) <a href="https://twitter.com/spicysucculents/status/1620434826980642816?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 31, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>15.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Every morning my toddler finds a new way to not get out the door for school, today he &quot;had to read a book to the fish&quot;. The book was one of those ones that labels household objects and it was important bc according to him &quot;the fish hasn&#39;t seen a lot of stuff around the house.&quot;</p>&mdash; Lucy Huber (@clhubes) <a href="https://twitter.com/clhubes/status/1620083495753383936?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 30, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>16.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">While doing her history homework, my daughter asked me what I knew about Galileo. <br><br>I said, he’s just a poor boy from a poor family.</p>&mdash; mariana Z (@mariana057) <a href="https://twitter.com/mariana057/status/1618644999075422209?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 26, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>17.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My daughter just asked “if you’re waiting for the waiter, doesn’t that make you the waiter?”<br><br>Me:……….</p>&mdash; Tetherball Tiddays (@indigo_raven_) <a href="https://twitter.com/indigo_raven_/status/1619537079758897152?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 29, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>18.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">My daughter just pointed at my hair and asked “What happened?” and then offered to give me her hair brush. <br><br>No one humbles you like your toddler.</p>&mdash; Tyler Roney (@TylerJRoney) <a href="https://twitter.com/TylerJRoney/status/1620058699917316099?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 30, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2> </h2><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

18 of the funniest tweets from parents who are brave enough to be honest.

When a tiny toddler is staring up at you, asking you why your hair today looks like &quot;a spooky witch,&quot; it&#39;s important to remember that being a parent is certainly not for the faint of heart...So, if you&#39;re long overdue for a cathartic laugh today about the hilariously brutal challenges of raising the next generation in all your Cheerio-drenched glory, here are the funniest tweets we could find from parents who are no longer sugar-coating their stories.1.My son just asked me what&#39;s the opposite of a tiger, Jesus Christ kid it&#39;s not even 9AM.&mdash; Philly Byrne (@PhilipNByrne) January 28, 2023 2.A child repeatedly and frantically yelling “mom” could mean they are seriously hurt or it could mean they need to tell their mom what their new favorite color is.&mdash; Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 25, 2023 3.Dads will slam kitchen cabinets and loudly rifle through pots and pans and then whisper-yell at the kids to be quiet because mom’s still sleeping.&mdash; Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 22, 2023 4.My daughter just asked me how to count to zero. Please help.&mdash; obront.eth (@zachobront) January 30, 2023 5.Sorry we’re late, my kid thought he couldn’t go to school with hiccups&mdash; meghan (@deloisivete) January 26, 2023 6.Imagine it&#39;s Sunday morning. You&#39;ve been allowed to sleep in as long as you want, and you have no chores or responsibilities all day. There&#39;s fresh fallen snow on the ground. Your mom makes Cinnamon rolls and serves you breakfast. But you&#39;re almost 3, so you are blind with rage.&mdash; John Smillie (@JohnSmillie42) January 22, 2023 7.Love that my daughter has her own little morning routine (watches a few episodes of Bluey while eating the $60 worth of fruit that I&#39;d hoped would last the entire week)&mdash; Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) January 23, 2023 8.I have to apologize for pretending to be a good father on here. I treated my 7 yo awful today and I&#39;m not proud of it. I should not have asked him to take a shower this morning after his last shower was 5 days ago. I am sorry for my horrible actions.&mdash; Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 24, 2023 9.As a parent you give all your love to this tiny, helpless human and watch in awe and wonder as they grow and come into their own and ignore your desperate cries for toilet paper from the bathroom&mdash; I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 24, 2023 10.We took our kids out to eat. My 5yo as she put her menu down, &quot;I&#39;ll have the chef&#39;s special.&quot; The waitress with a blank stare, &quot;ummm... we don&#39;t have one.&quot; My 5yo, &quot;guess it&#39;s not a fancy restaurant.&quot; My 5yo always putting me on the spot.&mdash; Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) January 25, 2023 11.My 7YO changed her favorite color to teal, now our four year investment in pink is worth zilch&mdash; Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) January 24, 2023 12.My kid leaned over, sneezed in my eye, then kissed it and that’s life with toddlers in a nutshell&mdash; One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) January 27, 2023 13.I have a question about toddlers and my question is what the fuck&mdash; The Charmin&#39; Carmen 🇨🇦 (@Charmin_Carmen) January 28, 2023 14.my toddler is toddlering so hard today i am gonna cry too&mdash; rinna supremacy (@spicysucculents) January 31, 2023 15.Every morning my toddler finds a new way to not get out the door for school, today he &quot;had to read a book to the fish&quot;. The book was one of those ones that labels household objects and it was important bc according to him &quot;the fish hasn&#39;t seen a lot of stuff around the house.&quot;&mdash; Lucy Huber (@clhubes) January 30, 2023 16.While doing her history homework, my daughter asked me what I knew about Galileo. I said, he’s just a poor boy from a poor family.&mdash; mariana Z (@mariana057) January 26, 2023 17.My daughter just asked “if you’re waiting for the waiter, doesn’t that make you the waiter?”Me:……….&mdash; Tetherball Tiddays (@indigo_raven_) January 29, 2023 18.My daughter just pointed at my hair and asked “What happened?” and then offered to give me her hair brush. No one humbles you like your toddler.&mdash; Tyler Roney (@TylerJRoney) January 30, 2023  

When a tiny toddler is staring up at you, asking you why your hair today looks like &quot;a spooky witch,&quot; it&#39;s important to remember that being a parent is certainly not for the faint of heart...  So, if you&#39;re long overdue...