Unfortunately, kids sometimes need a bit of truth-bending in order to play 'the quiet game' in the car or sit anywhere without an iPad for more than ten minutes. Sure, Santa can see you when you go to the dentist in the middle of April. So, when a Reddit user asked, 'Parents, what's the most elaborate lie you've ever told your children?' people were ready to share the funniest fibs and they ever made up on the spot.
I couldn't keep clothes on my kids. As soon as we would get home they would strip and run around naked. It was funny when they were little, but they were getting too big for that shit. We have always told them that a bird would peck at their butt/privates if it ever saw them. So one day I told my kids I bought a tiny bird that was now living in this decorative bird house I had hanging. I told them they better keep their clothes on or the bird would peck them.
I even changed my text notification to a bird tweet. Every time my phone would tweet they would freak out about 'hearing the bird.' Kept it going for at least 6 months until they finally stopped believing me. It worked though, they don't strip anymore LoL - Redwineandtanlines
For the longest time, I thought I had a rainbow beta fish. Periodically it would change colors. It took me way longer than I would like to admit to realize my parents were just replacing my dead fish. :( - TheMothHour
That after their bedtime, my husband and I just watched the lounge clock until our bedtime. Our 3 year old insisted on staying up one night and we committed to the lie for 20 minutes before she agreed to tidy her playroom in order to get out of watching the clock. She's not wanted to stay up downstairs since. - Sockfullofsheep
My 5 year old son thinks I turn into a werewolf every full moon, it's one of my favorites lies ever. - Mcswede_
That I wrote Charlottes Web. Ok ok backstory. When my daughter was three we would tell each other stories in the car. Made up short stories to pass time while on the road , our version of singing I suppose.
Anywho, I spin the web of a pig on the farm named Wilbur , the spider friend Charlotte that helped save him with the words in the web etc , the whole enchilada wrapped up in about three minutes . Then it was her turn for a story and it was never spoken about again.
Fast forward to Kindergarten, she comes into the living room one day with this book and is appalled that this author/company had somehow stolen my idea! “Oh yeah dad they have books and a movie! Everything! we need to call! “ at first we didn’t understand then she enlightened us about the day in the car.
My wife and I laughed and I of course spilled the beans. To this day every time we see the book or movie we reference the lie and every now and then when we still tell story’s in the car I will bring it up for a good laugh. She’s 9 now , avid reader and young author. I guess story telling runs in the genes ! - ItzNachoname
I have convinced mine that there bananas that grow in the tropics of Canada called bananadas. Just waiting for them to say this to their teachers one day. - mandicapped
My girls were about 6 and 7 and had a pet mouse. He wasn’t your normal everyday mouse at all. He could actually get out of his cage but wouldn’t run away, just hang out on his shelf. If my girls were eating they would give him a Barbie plate of whatever they were eating and he would run on their toy turntable like it was a treadmill.
One day I went to clean his cage and he had died. They weren’t home so I buried him and tried to think of how to break it to them. One of my girls is extremely sensitive and so I came up with a ridiculous story that I was cleaning his cage and he ran out the door because he had met a lady mouse and was going to have his own family. It worked..lol.
They were sad but not nearly as sad as if they would have known the truth. Fast forward 21 years and in a conversation with my sensitive daughter I flippantly say something in reference to when your mouse died and she just looked at me and said...”What? He died?? You just destroyed my childhood! For years I would imagine him coming back with his mouse family. - RatchetyAnn007
We were walking through a crowded mall on our way to eat lunch with people at the Rainforest Cafe and I heard a train coming. The little train that goes right through the path of everyone walking then goes right by me and my 3-year-old. She loves trains and begged to get on it. I felt a tantrum coming in so I told her it was the ‘time out train’. Only those kids being bad were put on it and she needed to behave so she didn’t have to ride it. Problem solved. She behaved with no tantrum. - silverteepee
'Eggplants grow from eggs' they didn't believe me at first bc I mess with them way too much. So I 'planted' and egg and a week later replaced with an eggplant. - primsynn
I always thought turning on lights in cars was illegal. I didn't figure out it wasn't until a post on Instagram making fun of how we were all told that. I'm 23. - [deleted]
Without missing a beat after breaking open a nest, my wife told our 3 or 4 year-old daughter that bees won’t bother you if you’re wearing purple. They hate purple. They calmly walked away, our little one in her favorite color, without a sting. Finally told her the truth at 12. - fosteraa
I work at a bank, and we've got a big jar of lollipops in the back table behind the teller line. It's very clearly visible. So when parents come in with their kids, the kids will always ask for one. Here's my favorite exchange that I've seen:
'Mommy, can I have a lollipop?'
'No honey, they don't have them.'
'But they're right there.'
'No honey, they're not real.' - bobby_booch
My sister would call water “ice juice” to get her kids to drink it. They hated water but loved ice juice! - gullibleani
My daughter dropped something heavy on her toe and killed the nail. I told her that when it came off that the toenail fairy would bring her money if she saved it and put it under her pillow. My wife was not amused, but the toenail fairy pays a lot. Later she told her kindergarten teacher that the toenail fairy came and gave her 20 bucks. Heard about that one in a parent teacher conference... -porcelainvacation
We told our daughter when she was 3-6 that her ears wiggle when she was lying. She walked around covering her ears up all the time. Picture a 4 yr old earnestly telling you something with their ears covered and elbows straight out. Yes, I washed my hands. Nope, that’s not my popcorn on the couch. - gorillaboy75
That the world was running out of the color red. - Sherman_Hills
My son asked where babies come from. I told him that parents drink a special potion made in Milwaukee, and then nine months later a baby is born. - robynbird0404
My son would always wake up with a cow lick in his hair from sleeping. I turned this into an elaborate story about a cow that would sneak into our house every night to try and lick his hair because the cow thought it was a carrot (he's a red head).
Managed to convince him to sleep with a carrot for a few nights because I said the cow would eat that instead of his hair. Then each night either me or his dad would take a bite out of the carrot to prove the night cow had been - Terriberri877