'Does the sky have feelings?' 'Do cats have careers?' 'Can I touch the lightning?' So, when a Reddit user asked, 'Parents, what is the dumbest thing you've ever heard from your child?' people with kids were ready to laugh about the hilariously incorrect observations or beautifully idiotic statements they ever heard come out of their kid's mouth.
I asked my kid if he had to pee before bed. After I said that, he stuck his hand in his pants, felt his nuts and said, 'No, they arent hard' - Xantaraxy0
My nephew (4 or 5 years old at the time) asked 'Why does the dog never talk to me? Does he hate me' - Pizzarolls23
'I didn't poop in my pants, the dog did' - blh1003
On a clear afternoon:
Son - Look mom, I found the earth.
Me - Oh really? Where is it?
Son - In the sky!
My kid saw a daytime moon for the first time. - SoWasTheRed
'I wish I was a bird so that I could lay eggs' To lay eggs. Nope, not to fly. To lay f*cking eggs. - pancslady
My daughter (around 5 or 6) asked 'What animal did my chicken nugget used to be?' one night at dinner when we were talking about the importance of appreciating/understanding where food came from. - narcolepsyinc
4 year old was jumping in the shallow end of the pool. We told her not to jump in. She does it again and we say, 'what did we tell you about jumping?' She replies, 'I didn't jump I hopped in' - itsfoine
'So Maria (mother's name), when did you meet grandma?' Obligatory not a parent, my brother said it. He never called her by her first name before either. - Muffinizer1
At my daughter's school she is in an optional lunch program Wednesday & Thursdays, so we don't send her a lunch those days. When my mom picked her up the first week that started and she didn't have a lunch bag she asked why and my daughter's answer was 'Mom & Dad don't feed me on Wednesday or Thursday.'- androgynous_potato
My two year old daughter has started responding to me when I say 'that doesn't make sense' by yelling 'SENSE IS A TENT', running around in no fewer than 4 circles, then jumping and landing on her butt. I have no idea wtf is going on but it drives me nuts. - shphunk
Son (in tears): My sister called me a trapezoid!
Me: Do you know what a trapezoid is?
Son: No! She always uses big word I don't understand!
Me: .... - BlueMacaw
I asked my 3.5 year old what time it was.. he looked at his wrist (with no watch) looked back at me and said 'It's 38 pounds, daddy.' - Stonkly
When my oldest was 5 I was pregnant. I found out I was having a boy and we excitedly told him he was having a brother. He started crying. Like, full on sobbing. Through the tears he asked 'if you have a boy who will I marry when I grow up???' We had to explain a lot of things that day. - katikaboom
My 7-year-old: 'I didn't hear you!'
I was yelling for her from another room and walked into the room where she was playing Minecraft and she blurted out 'I didn't hear you calling me!'
'How did you know I was calling you?' 'I didn't hear you!' 'But how did you KNOW that I was calling you when I walked in?' 'I didn't hear you!'
One day I will enjoy telling her that story. - Pingly
Teacher, not a parent, but the other day I overheard this conversation between two of my third graders.
Girl: Don't you believe Jesus Christ died on the cross to save us from the British king?!
Boy: That wasn't him! That was Abraham Lincoln! Girl: Oh.
I probably should have corrected them, but the idea that they will go through life believing Abraham Lincoln was crucified on the cross to save us from the British king was too amusing to me. - 4lly89
My kid jumped through a glass coffee table in the living room while trying to jump over said table from the couch. This was as dinner was being served in the other room. So my kid walks in blood pouring out his legs (nothing major), sits down. I ask him what the noise was. ' The cushion jumped through the table.' Proceeded to eat his dinner like nothing happened. Raising a psychopath. - knuckleshuffle92
Before going to bed two nights ago.
Me: 'Did you brush your teeth?'
Me: 'Tonight ?'
Child: '.....Oh...I thought you meant last night.' - 318daily
'This shirt doesn't have any arm holes!' 'You have a pillow case on your head' - hotbutteredtoast