18 men share the 'joke' that landed them in the doghouse with their significant other.
Everyone likes a good joke. Sometimes even a bad joke is fine. But it doesn't matter if a joke is good or bad, if it insults your partner and they're angry at you. You may think they're not justified, but does that matter? You took your shot, and now you have to deal with the consquences.
In this post on Reddt, as user asked people to share the 'jokes' that got them in hot water. Here are 18 of the funniest, or least funny, depending on which end of the joke you were on.
1. Hot sister.
LogMeln OP writes:
I told my wife that 'her identical twin sister is hot.' I obviously meant it as a joke, because like... they're identical? but she did NOT like it at all. Also -- I do not think her sister is hot. They might look the same, but their voices are different, and her sister talks like a valley girl, which is a huge turn-off for me. And my wife is an angel.
2. Dead funny?
mdotca writes:
When we were preparing our mortgage I quipped that I wasn’t worried about a 35 year mortgage because I’d be dead before that. My wife was not happy with that one.
3. Only the good years count.
Mackowitz writes:
On their anniversary, my dad will always say something like 'Yep, 40 years of wedded bliss.' Which is fine, except they've been married almost 60 years. When anyone notices, he just says 'What, they weren't all good years!'
4. May/December humor.
healthy_fats writes:
My wife is 5 years older than me. At a family party one of her cousins called her a cradle robber.... I said 'No, it's not like that, i'm robbing the grave.' My wife thought it was hilarious, but her family has questioned me ever since.
hopping_otter_ears added:
I've always heard it as 'robbing the retirement home'
5. Kissing cousins.
burnyburnington26 writes:
I made her think we were related. I'm Australian, she's from Sweden, when we were engaged I found out in a conversation with her brother that her family came from a certain area and had an ancestral farm there going back hundreds of years.
She didn't know that I knew this, so I made up an elaborate story about how my family originally came from Sweden and had to leave their ancestral farm due to some dispute, then when they arrived in Australia back in the early 20th century they changed their name from (her grandmothers family name) to what it is now.
But that I'd like to visit this place one day because I might have some kind of distant claim as a direct blood relative of that family. She bought it hook line and sinker, she went white in the face when I told her the name of the farm and her ancestors family name.
We've been married 20 years and she's still mad at me for that one, but it was totally worth it.
6. Dog humor = dog house.
Ex GF’s husky got electrocuted by biting into a loose plug or something and burned his tongue (he was otherwise alright). A week later the dog was just acting chill on the couch and she was concerned because he was always hyper. Her mom told her he was fine, I told her, “he’s probably low on battery, you should try plugging him in.”
Yea that was the last joke I made in that relationship.
Edit: Regarding comments on “electrocuted” vs “shocked,” she first messaged me that the dog was “electrocuted and rushed to emergency.”
7. Drink in the humor:
Scruffy442 writes:
We stopped at a gas station and she asked me to grab the largest water they had. I came out with a gallon jug. She was not pleased. 17 years later when she asks for a bottle of water, I ask back 'The largest one they have?' I get a 'F**k you' reply and a laugh from her.
Edit: Another way to put yourself in the doghouse. Tell your wife your comment about a joke you played on her 17 years ago is trending. 'Glad everyone can laugh at my expense...'
8. Never compare you GF to a video game character.
mummerlimn writes:
She asked me what she danced like, and I asked her if she ever played The Sims. Oh god, she did not like that. We are breaking up right now (but not because of that).
9. At ease disease, there's a fungus amongus.
CarltheWellEndowed writes:
My wife got a yeast infection like a year ago, and I told her that I always wanted to be married to a woman of culture. Definitely not worth.
10. Everything gets funnier with repetition.
_whydah_ writes:
The first time she handed one of our children's clothes and told me to put them on (obviously put them on the child) and I said they wouldn't fit me, she laughed. The second time a little chuckle. On the 100th plus time we're on now, she hates it. I can't stop it though.
11. Wonder why she's an ex?
CleverUserIDGoesHere writes:
My ex once dressed in winter clothing and said something to the effect of 'I bought this 10 years ago and it still fits!'.
Me:. 'The scarf?'
12. Gallows humor.
QuestionMarkyMark writes:
My wife was a gestational surrogate… she carried twins for another couple. After the twins were born, I went with my wife to a post-delivery follow-up doctor’s appointment.
At one point, the nurse asked how the babies were doing. I said, “They’re no longer with us… (long pause) They’re now with their parents.” Wife was not amused.
13. This guy is like summer vacation, no class.
bam2_89 writes:
We were in the same profession, arguing about a concept. She also happens to have a driving record so bad that she was put in the risk pool for car insurance.
She was wrong about the underlying concept we were discussing and she told me 'I actually took that class...' with which I countered 'Well, you also took driver's ed.'
14. He's lucky he didn't end up in the ER.
PracticeAsleep writes:
I worked in the hospital for 20 odd years. One day I got a new set of glasses to which my wife looked at and said, boy those look sexy. My reply was yeah I guess I'll have to wait and see what the nurses have to say. That was the wrong answer.
15. Buffalo Bill jokes are always funny.
Weird_Cantaloupe2757 says:
She hates when I make jokes about the kids, like when she is putting lotion on the baby and I say “it puts the lotion on its skin”. Naturally, I do this all the time.
16. Don't be funny with my money.
militantdillus writes:
We were at the airport checking our bags with our dog with us. The woman working behind the desk pointed to our dog and said “is he a pet?” and SO replied “no, hes an emotional support dog” to which I chimed in “and I’m her financial support dog.”
The worker cracked up but SO did not think it was funny.
17. More dogs getting guys in the doghouse.
Toincossross writes:
On a work trip I messaged “how’s my sweetheart today”, she responded about what she is up to, I replied “I meant Sadie” (our dog). Tipsy me thought it was funny.
18. Rimshot.
WLUmascot writes:
I told my wife she’s the only one I’ve ever been with. All the others were 7s and 8s.