Woman kicks out boyfriend for demanding cat room for gaming.

My partner (m34) and I (f33) have been together for a year now. I live in a house that I own, with 4 of my cats. He used to rent a flat, but due to issues at his company he lot his job and couldn’t afford it any longer. He's currently back at his parents house. He recently got a part time position at grocery shop while he is looking for a job in his field of work.

Him and his parents don’t get along well. He says that they’re pushing him to get a full time position and help pay the bills.

He’s been hinting at the idea of moving in with me. I don't think we're at the point of moving in together, but after a while I caved in and agreed to him moving in, and paying portion of the bills.

Remember how I mentioned that I have 4 cats? Well, my cats have their own room. I mean they have their litter boxes and some toys scattered around the house but their main area is this large room upstairs that was designed specifically for them with a huge window, scratch posts going up to the ceiling, pathway shelves, etc. It’s basically a cats heaven.

I also have my office upstairs (it used to be two bedrooms, but I combined them into one office space as I work from home), and one bedroom plus bathroom, and downstairs has huge kitchen and living room plus bathroom.

Editor's note: Sounds like a big palce. We might ask if we can move in too, if it weren't for our terrible cat allergies.

My bedroom is huge and I thought it was a given that we would share it. I bought a new wardrobe just for him and made space in the living room so he can arrange his gaming set up, etc.

He started moving his stuff yesterday and making comments about my cats room, complaining about why it’s not emptied yet. Turns out, that he expected that room to become his man cave, his gaming room, while my cats can roam the house, and don’t need a room.

He said that he was disappointed it wasn't ready, but he’ll empty it himself. I said ‘absolutely not.’ He is not going to such thing, and cat room stays as it is. He got really angry and we had an argument standing between boxes of his stuff. It boiled down to him refusing to have less space than the cats in his own house, and that I don’t respect him enough to allow him to use that room.

I’ve never seen him like that, and I admit I got a bit scared of him. He had an evening shift at his job and I called my brother to move the stuff out. We drove it to his parents house and left it there. His mother was histerical, crsuing that they just got rid off him and he can’t be back.

After that, I texted him that his stuff is back at his parents and unfortunately, he cannot move in with me.

He called me from outside, apologizing for his behaviour, and saying that he was just really shocked that I didn’t love him enough, and I loved my cats more, and he cried apologiasing. I stood my ground but, later on I got phone calls from his family, mother, cousins, sisters, all calling me a heartless bitch for picking cats over my partner.

I am genuinely conflicted now. Is it really wrong of me to refuse to give him that room? AITA here?

Comments:

kiwi_cannon_ says:

NTA. He EXPECTED to have an entire room in a house he doesn't own for him to play video games in? Flew into a rage when he didn't get it?

The fact that his mother was hysterical that he was coming back is another big red flag. I bet he's not fun to live with and she doesn't want to deal with what she's raised. He's an entitled little boy by the sounds of it.

akwardtoss says:

NTA - His family is freaking out because they don't want to deal with him either. And him calling it 'his house' is the mother trucker of red flags. You had the right instincts girl, drop this dude and enjoy your cats.

squimd says:

his mother CRIED because she didn’t want him back in her house. i think this man is someone u need to stay away from NTA.

ProgrammerBig6254 says:

NTA times a million but seriously. How can you not see the sea of red flags in front of you? He “doesn’t get along” with his parents because they want him to get a job and contribute. He is already saying that it’s his house and that you’re disrespecting him. His mother cried when you brought back his stuff. He’s manipulating you.

Serious my friend - RUN. He never planned on contributing to the bills. His plan was to use and abuse you. He already manipulated you into letting him move in. Please read your post out for yourself and try to imagine it was your best friend instead of you. What would you tell her?