20 funny tweets to kick off the week.

Bronwyn Isaac

Mar 20, 2023 | 6:55 PM

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The march of time continues.

The weekend has once again come to an end and we are once more confronted with the five-day work week.

Whether you spent the weekend cuddled up with your favorite TV show, you put on a new outfit and hit the town, or you were buried under work and errands, it's likely you could use a laugh this Monday.

Luckily, the internet was built for jokes, so you don't have to look any further.

1.

so a couple weeks ago we came home and hubie pooed on the rug … I cleaned it, put it in the wash, sanitized it and it came out like this. does it say BITCH or am I going insane pic.twitter.com/lz6rmrO5AT
— rebecca jennings (@rebexxxxa) March 11, 2022

2.

look at this special order i just had to make at work pic.twitter.com/3GDeklgGHc
— greenville, sc tap water fan account (@absinthefather) March 13, 2022

3.

spotify goes down on international women day but y'all don't go down on women ever?
— sally darr (@sallydarr) March 8, 2022

4.

the male version of cutting your bangs in a moment of crisis is doing like 22 push-ups in your childhood bedroom
— donald boat (@laserboat999) March 8, 2022

5.

high school musical 2 came out in 2007 and breaking bad came out in 2008 and they are both set in albuquerque new mexico. which means canonically troy bolton and jesse pinkman could’ve been in school together
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) March 8, 2022

6.

me reactivating my twitter pic.twitter.com/EwPRn9RbCS
— blaire erskine (@blaireerskine) March 13, 2022

7.

pic.twitter.com/4w3NB8coXK
— Dudes Posting Their W’s (@DudespostingWs) March 17, 2023

8.

i’m not someone who can multitask i can only do one thing every 3-4 years
— youngmi mayer (@ymmayer) March 15, 2023

9.

I never adjust the oven clock. I think it’s important to hear both sides
— Vinny Thomas (@vinn_ayy) March 13, 2022

10.

I’m just like her pic.twitter.com/HrKMtvPTI4
— Oink Sampler (@wijodo) March 12, 2022

11.

my sister just said to me “you look like if the word ‘ball point pen’ were a person” and idk what that means but my feelings are hurt
— abby govindan (@abbygov) March 18, 2023

12.

I don’t understand why people complain about zoom meetings. It’s like, bro, have you been to a regular meeting?
— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) March 16, 2023

13.

pic.twitter.com/XA2Kim9mJ0
— Suspicious Dms (@dms_weird) March 3, 2022

14.

the riddler basically being gossip girl in the batman was so funny like why he had everybody tea
— paul meeks-martin (@paulswhtn) March 5, 2022

15.

I asked the produce guy if I could try a grape and he said he wouldn’t care if I lit the store on fire with him in it
— alien skier (@clichedout) March 5, 2022

16.

my girlfriend just thought cauliflower was protein. vegetarians are so fucked up in the head. hope our next president works on this
— Ms. Grace Kuhlenschmidt (@GKuhlenschmidt) March 5, 2022

17.

everyone else’s birthday is on the most random possible day whereas mine is on the day where it’s like ok Yeah this is a birthday
— charlie (@chunkbardey) March 4, 2022

18.

I miss being a hater. Now I’ll hear a song at CVS and be like “omgg who is this, so fun!”
— Sam Taggart (@samttaggart) March 3, 2022

19.

I’ve been waiting for weeks for my Girl Scout cookies to arrive and just now realized I ORDERED THEM IN A DREAM. shaking crying throwing up etc
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) March 5, 2022

20.

My mom: so as long as you keep all your bank balances below $250k, your money is insured

Me: ok that should be…..fine…
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) March 17, 2023

Sources: Twitter

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