So, when a Reddit user asked, 'School counselors/nurses, what is the most embarrassing or WTF reason a kid has ended up in your office?' people who work in schools everywhere were ready to share their most memorable day at the office. Red Rover is a dangerous recess game, kids...
We have a student (1st grade) who poops his pants on purpose when he wants to go home. About once a week. - [deleted]
When I was in 2nd grade, a boy held a pencil point up on my chair, and I sat on it. It traveled through my jeans and underwear without any damage, and stuck firmly in my little butt cheek.
On this day, we happened to have a substitute teacher, and when I started crying, she took me into the in-classroom restroom and looked at my butt, informed me that the tip of the pencil was stuck in there, and I took off running and crying down the hall.
I turned a corner and the janitor, Ralph, called out, 'Do you have a pass?!?' To which I replied, 'THERE'S A PENCIL STUCK IN MY BUTT!' Then I continued down the hall to the nurse's office. The school nurse, Sherri, was a very sweet lady. She calmed me down, called my mom to ask for permission to touch my butt, and plucked it out. I got to go home for the day. I consider it a win. - Atomies
Snorted a line of sugar he poured from a Pixi Stick. He promptly got a severe nosebleed that would not stop and he had to go to the nurse's office and he was there until his mum could pick him up and take him home. - thenightbattles
We had about 5 kids (5th graders) come in one day after lunch because one of the other kids brought a habanero pepper and convinced them all to try it. You'd think they would learn after the 1st one did it. Nope. - MaryJS
We were dissecting rats in 9th grade and bet a kid that he wouldn't eat the rat's balls for $30...he did. He had to be taken to the hospital to get his stomach pumped because the rat's balls were covered in formaldehyde - neehch
My mom is a school nurse. One day, after the school day ended, she was about to leave when someone came to get her about an emergency. A student needed something from his locker in a sports locker room.
The door was locked. He decided he would crawl into the ceiling, over the door, over the locker room, drop down from the ceiling, get what he needed, and crawl back out through the ceiling. The kid fell through the ceiling before he could make it inside the locker room. - getyourkicks76
Got a ball bearing stuck in my ear. In high school. Went to the nurse and it was deep enough that she couldn't find it. Ended up calling my mom and she got it out in the school parking lot with a big magnet. Still got to go home for the day so it was worth it. - Freshenstein
I had a first grader stick a bead up his nose while at recess. The nurse's office was a small, sterile, closet-sized room. She told him to hold the other nostril and blow for all it was worth. Ping, ping, ping... That thing popped right out and bounced all over the room! He told that story all year long! - NBPTS
Not a counselor or nurse, but I can honestly say I ended up in the nurses office in the 8th grade because I had a mousetrap stuck to my head. One of the extremely sticky kind. Some kid slapped it on my head/hair as a joke and I nearly ripped my scalp off trying to remove it. I subsequently landed in the counselors office. Double win. - Violaleeblues
Well, stupid (male) kid here, in preschool when I was around four I told the teachers I had PMS. They thought that sh*t was great. They made me call my mom and tell her while they all stood around laughing. Turns out I had seen some commercial about some PMS relief pill and asked my mother what PMS was. She told me it was when you get headaches, your stomach hurts and you don't feel good. Well my head ached, my stomach hurt, and I didn't feel good. So obviously, PMS. - Aethelwulf839
In fifth grade a friend of mine said his white out smelled like blueberries from being next to a blueberry scented eraser, after I smell it I passed to it to another friend to smell it. That said friend complained about a headache from sniffing white out and next thing I knew i was suspended for two days and I needed to write an essay explaining why I shouldn't inhale or huff whiteout because it could lead to hard drugs. - W0ndercunt
One day I decided that my bully had enough fun with me, so I dumped crazy glue into his hands and told him it will make your hair gleam, once he put his hands into his hair, insta-stick. He spent 3-4 hours with the nurse cutting his hair... He didn't come back to school for 3 weeks. - c1utchh
We did a starfish dissection in seventh grade and this guy in my class ate the starfish for ten dollars. Never asked him how it tasted - mermaidhairnoocares
I'll throw myself in here, not a nurse but the embarrassing kid. I grew up with a dairy allergy, not lactose intolerance, like an actual allergy where I was told that my throat would close and eyes swell up (or it did a couple times when I was much younger. Was pretty vigilant about not eating dairy so I don't have an actual memory of a reaction) Well, second day of my freshman year, I bought a sub and checked it for cheese, ate half of it before I realized there was white swiss on it.
I freaked out and went to the office and told them, they called an ambulance and my parents rushed there. And it turns out I've definitely grown out of the allergy. 10 years later and my friends still harass me about the time I got scared by a sandwich and called an ambulance. Still embarrassed about it every time. - manyaroad
You know how your teachers would always yell at you when you tilted your chair back because they once had a kid bust their head open after falling? Yea I'm that kid. - mcdick69
A guy in one of my HS chem classes tried sneaking some Sodium, if I remember right, out of the classroom. He unfortunately decided he would hide it in a paper towel in his crotch. He eventually sweated enough to activate it and ended up burning his crotch pretty badly. School had to call an ambulance. - [deleted]
One winter in junior high, my classmates engaged in running across a frozen pond for kicks and giggles. One of them decided he would run across bare foot, and suckily for him, the ice decided to break under his bare soles. Needless to say there were cuts and blood all over, and since our school's nurse was on lunch break, our maths teacher had to carry him to a nearby school where they could tend to him. - itsgallus