Reddit's TIFU (Today I F*cked Up) forum is a magical place where people can admit their most egregious mistakes, ranging from lightly embarrassing to 'I need to move, now'. Here are five hilarious posts from people we hope to never relate to:
The overhead fan in our bedroom uses one of those compact halogen light bulbs.
6 years ago the bulb burned out and got really dim, just barely a glow. I bought a replacement bulb but when I put that one in it was also barely lighting up so I realized the unit was bad.
The fan still worked GREAT, it literally is the best fan I’ve ever had because it moves a ton of air and is super quiet. The fan had also been a gift when we moved into our house, the unit cost over $400 so I didn’t really want to replace it even though our bedroom doesn’t get much natural light so it is pretty dark.
So since then over the years my wife and I have had to make due with no overhead light. We open the windows during the day, and at night use a combination of bedside lamps and the bathroom light. It’s never really as good of lighting as an overhead lamp so I keep some flashlights up there for when we are cleaning or looking for something etc.
After 6 years of living in the dark, this winter I just decided I would replace the damn thing. But before I did, I decided to try one last time with another bulb because, however unlikely, it’s possible BOTH bulbs I had tried were bad. So I’m up there installing the new bulb, grab the remote (the fan has a remote) and as I’m turning the light on I realize:
The goddamn thing is dimmable.
For 6 fucking years we lived with the inconvenience of no overhead light and the whole time it was just because the damn thing was set to “dim”. F*ck me.
My wife hates orange and lime flavored candies. I love them. Well, love the orange, like the lime. So, she passes on the orange starburst to me. She passes the orange and green skittles to me. She passes the orange and green gummy bears to me. This has been happening for 13 years.
What she doesn’t know is that the green Haribo gummy bears are actually strawberry. Shortly after we married, for one reason or another, I looked at the back of the Haribo gummy bears package and discovered this.
So I haven’t said anything for 13 years. Every time we get gummy bears, she gives me the orange and green (strawberry). I’ve never said a word. I’ve enjoyed eating my little lies. Until last night…
We had some gummy bears and she opened them and she started to hand me the orange and green ones. But after a few minutes, I saw her looking at the back of the bag. Then I saw her eyes get REAL BIG. She turned to me and asked if I’ve known that the green bears were strawberry. She always thought they were lime.
I was honest and nodded my head yes. The look of betrayal was unreal…. She asked how long I’ve known, and I was honest. I told her as long as we’ve been married. She quit giving me the gummy bears she didn’t like. She was even eating the orange ones out of spite. I don’t think I’ll get any more gummy bear discards after this. Time to buy my own.
I'm a 32 year old woman who can never go back to my new dentist after two visits because I'm an idiot.
My dentist is a very nice and professional man. Our first appointment was going pretty smoothly until he made some innocuous remark about us 'being strangers.' My immediate reply was 'oh, you're not a stranger! You've been inside of my mouth for 20 minutes!'
I did NOT intend to make a sexual joke. His face turned red and he was clearly embarrassed but he continued on like a true professional and we were probably both relieved when the appointment was over.
I had my second dentist appointment today. I actually mentally prepared myself to be a model patient who didn't say anything weird, thank you very much. He had been working in my mouth for about 5 minutes when he started to seem really uncomfortable or something. His face was red and he was breathing a little heavier.
I was a bit concerned and also confused. Like how could I have embarrassed him this time? I had hardly spoken! So he keeps working in there and then I realize what the hell is happening.
My dentist was wearing grape flavored gloves. I had been absentmindedly licking his fingers the whole time. Never going back.
So I (39F) have a son (15M) and he brought a friend round today. They immediately went to their room and I assumed they would just play some video games or whatever so I was totally fine leaving them.
It was about 30 minutes in when I was walking past, I heard sounds such as 'Omg that's so good' and 'Its so good with that in it' and various 'mmmm' sounds.
It really sounded like they were having gay sex, I was super weirded out by it so I quickly went downstairs and waited for his friend to leave. When this friend left an hour or two later I asked my son what they were doing in his room (because although I don't mind him being gay, and ik it's normal for teenagers to have sex, a condom really should be used) so I planned to confront him about that.
However the answer shocked me to my very core. They weren't having sex, they were eating hummus.
I was shocked, and initially didn't believe it. We had never had hummus before and I asked him to show me the hummus if this was true. So he did, and I ate hummus for the first time, and oh my god was it good. We experimented with different things in it like bread and carrots and it was great.
Apparently his friend had heard about how he had never had hummus before and thought this was absurd so had planned a date for a hummus party. So yeah, it ended up being quite a good ending, I discovered how nice hummus was.
Well I recently started a new job about 5-6 months ago, doing some tech work. With that being said I’m pretty young, 24, definitely the youngest that works there why far. I also mostly work with other men, 30-40. We have a GroupMe for the store I work at, which includes the owner, the manager and 5-6 other employees.
The previous night I had been feeling a little frisky and desired to take some pictures/videos for the guy that I was with at the time. No biggie right? The next morning I had work, go in as normal, pretty busy day actually. Noon rolls around and I needed to post a picture to the Groupme about a issue I was having with a computer I was working on.
I typed what I needed to said clicked the camera roll icon and just as I clicked the picture, a customer came up and started asking me a question, I hit send without thinking and go on about my day. I should also probably say that by this time I was working alone and closing so no one else was around.
The customer who came in kept me pretty busy for 30-45 mins, when they finally left I went to check my phone and saw I had a bunch of missed calls from my boss... at first I thought he was just calling me about the question I had, while the phone was ringing, I went back to look at the Groupme, to my horror I CLICKED NOT JUST A PICTURE FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE, BUT THE WHOLE DAMN VIDEO.
My heart dropped, instantly when I realized what happened my boss picked up the phone, he began questioning me about what my “intentions” where with the video and that he’s never had anyone do such a disrespectful act in the company before. I tried to explain but needless to say that was my last day working there.
Lol on the bright side the coworker I had a crush on...finally got his attention.