Here are today's tweets! We've got cute, funny, political, and weird, among other things. Take a look. We hope you enjoy!1. Plan for tonight.I meant to be productive but I got trapped under this blanket and some wine accidentally spilled in my glass and this book just fell open in my lap— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 7, 2022 Glass in hand, ready to go.2. Burgers are getting buttered tonight!Midwest love story pic.twitter.com/6ImVACLUjT— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) October 8, 2022 Sorry, it's very cute.3. A different version of "slow" quitting.whenever my boss tries to talk to me i start punching myself in the head and saying “stupid stupid stupid” and he just leaves me alone— teryn (@youngtiddy) October 7, 2022 Try saying, "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha." That should work as well.4. Someone sued for the coffee being too hot.McDonald’s staff harvesting apple pie filling pic.twitter.com/7g6bhOiYAN— Paul (@bingowings14) October 8, 2022 Wonder if that works for apple pies?5. Doesn't matter what your politics are, that's funny.I feel we’re about two hours away from learning that Herschel Walker actually ran an abortion clinic.— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) October 8, 2022 How many are we up to at this point?6. Free beer?Would someone please tell me what’s going on in my neighborhood? pic.twitter.com/1iqfkke9m9— Emily Heller (@MrEmilyHeller) October 7, 2022 Definitely don't drink that.7. Great British Bakeoff has lost its mind.Mexican week is worse than we thought… pic.twitter.com/Kv355RYmm7— Mx. D. E. ADerson (@diannaeanderson) October 7, 2022 If you're not following this controversy, enjoy...8. Not the worst thing to happen in a job interview.I was on a zoom job interview the other day and the interviewer said "I love your background" and I was like "i love YOUR background, loving the wall paper and gold framed mirror!" And she responded "no I meant your work history is great for this role" 🥴— Whacktose Intolerant (@MillyTamarez) October 7, 2022 Tropical vacation is the best background for a job interview, and then keep asking about how much time you get off the entire time.9. Assumptions make an ass out of u and me?i thought the barista was going to ask me if i wanted a straw, but unfortunately instead she said ‘have a nice day!’ to which i replied ‘no thank you’ and then drove away— nash flynn, (@itsnashflynn) October 7, 2022 Everyone's done something like this.10. Spooky season budget buster.It’s very difficult to talk about staying within a budget with your husband when you have skeletons in your closet, specifically a 12-foot one, that you bought yesterday.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 7, 2022 Unfortunately the skeletons in our closets are very real, and much scarier than a 12 foot decoration.