Twitter

<p>Here are today&#39;s tweets! We&#39;ve got cute, funny, political, and weird, among other things. Take a look. We hope you enjoy!</p><p>1. Plan for tonight.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I meant to be productive but I got trapped under this blanket and some wine accidentally spilled in my glass and this book just fell open in my lap</p>&mdash; Katie D (@KatieDeal99) <a href="https://twitter.com/KatieDeal99/status/1578502254381834241?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 7, 2022</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Glass in hand, ready to go.</p><p>2. Burgers are getting buttered tonight!</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Midwest love story <a href="https://t.co/6ImVACLUjT">pic.twitter.com/6ImVACLUjT</a></p>&mdash; Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) <a href="https://twitter.com/midwestern_ope/status/1578823998229487616?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 8, 2022</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Sorry, it&#39;s very cute.</p><p>3. A different version of &quot;slow&quot; quitting.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">whenever my boss tries to talk to me i start punching myself in the head and saying “stupid stupid stupid” and he just leaves me alone</p>&mdash; teryn (@youngtiddy) <a href="https://twitter.com/youngtiddy/status/1578426682133733387?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 7, 2022</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Try saying, &quot;Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.&quot; That should work as well.</p><p>4. Someone sued for the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liebeck_v._McDonald%27s_Restaurants">coffee being too</a> hot.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">McDonald’s staff harvesting apple pie filling <a href="https://t.co/7g6bhOiYAN">pic.twitter.com/7g6bhOiYAN</a></p>&mdash; Paul (@bingowings14) <a href="https://twitter.com/bingowings14/status/1578547194432434176?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 8, 2022</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Wonder if that works for apple pies?</p><p>5. Doesn&#39;t matter what your politics are, that&#39;s funny.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I feel we’re about two hours away from learning that Herschel Walker actually ran an abortion clinic.</p>&mdash; Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) <a href="https://twitter.com/RexHuppke/status/1578563897098911745?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 8, 2022</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>How many are we up to at this point?</p><p>6. Free beer?</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Would someone please tell me what’s going on in my neighborhood? <a href="https://t.co/1iqfkke9m9">pic.twitter.com/1iqfkke9m9</a></p>&mdash; Emily Heller (@MrEmilyHeller) <a href="https://twitter.com/MrEmilyHeller/status/1578418687802867721?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 7, 2022</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Definitely don&#39;t drink that.</p><p>7. Great British Bakeoff has lost its mind.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Mexican week is worse than we thought… <a href="https://t.co/Kv355RYmm7">pic.twitter.com/Kv355RYmm7</a></p>&mdash; Mx. D. E. ADerson (@diannaeanderson) <a href="https://twitter.com/diannaeanderson/status/1578424846647951361?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 7, 2022</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>If you&#39;re not following this controversy, <a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=mexican%20week&amp;src=typed_query">enjoy...</a></p><p>8. Not the worst thing to happen in a job interview.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I was on a zoom job interview the other day and the interviewer said &quot;I love your background&quot; and I was like &quot;i love YOUR background, loving the wall paper and gold framed mirror!&quot; And she responded &quot;no I meant your work history is great for this role&quot; 🥴</p>&mdash; Whacktose Intolerant (@MillyTamarez) <a href="https://twitter.com/MillyTamarez/status/1578456324337115136?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 7, 2022</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Tropical vacation is the best background for a job interview, and then keep asking about how much time you get off the entire time.</p><p>9. Assumptions make an ass out of u and me?</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">i thought the barista was going to ask me if i wanted a straw, but unfortunately instead she said ‘have a nice day!’ to which i replied ‘no thank you’ and then drove away</p>&mdash; nash flynn, (@itsnashflynn) <a href="https://twitter.com/itsnashflynn/status/1578394211568738304?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 7, 2022</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Everyone&#39;s done something like this.</p><p>10. Spooky season budget buster.</p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">It’s very difficult to talk about staying within a budget with your husband when you have skeletons in your closet, specifically a 12-foot one, that you bought yesterday.</p>&mdash; Jessie (@mommajessiec) <a href="https://twitter.com/mommajessiec/status/1578434847692840963?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 7, 2022</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Unfortunately the skeletons in our closets are very real, and much scarier than a 12 foot decoration.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

10 utterly random tweets to put a smile on your face today.

Here are today&#39;s tweets! We&#39;ve got cute, funny, political, and weird, among other things. Take a look. We hope you enjoy!1. Plan for tonight.I meant to be productive but I got trapped under this blanket and some wine accidentally spilled in my glass and this book just fell open in my lap&mdash; Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 7, 2022 Glass in hand, ready to go.2. Burgers are getting buttered tonight!Midwest love story pic.twitter.com/6ImVACLUjT&mdash; Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) October 8, 2022 Sorry, it&#39;s very cute.3. A different version of &quot;slow&quot; quitting.whenever my boss tries to talk to me i start punching myself in the head and saying “stupid stupid stupid” and he just leaves me alone&mdash; teryn (@youngtiddy) October 7, 2022 Try saying, &quot;Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.&quot; That should work as well.4. Someone sued for the coffee being too hot.McDonald’s staff harvesting apple pie filling pic.twitter.com/7g6bhOiYAN&mdash; Paul (@bingowings14) October 8, 2022 Wonder if that works for apple pies?5. Doesn&#39;t matter what your politics are, that&#39;s funny.I feel we’re about two hours away from learning that Herschel Walker actually ran an abortion clinic.&mdash; Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) October 8, 2022 How many are we up to at this point?6. Free beer?Would someone please tell me what’s going on in my neighborhood? pic.twitter.com/1iqfkke9m9&mdash; Emily Heller (@MrEmilyHeller) October 7, 2022 Definitely don&#39;t drink that.7. Great British Bakeoff has lost its mind.Mexican week is worse than we thought… pic.twitter.com/Kv355RYmm7&mdash; Mx. D. E. ADerson (@diannaeanderson) October 7, 2022 If you&#39;re not following this controversy, enjoy...8. Not the worst thing to happen in a job interview.I was on a zoom job interview the other day and the interviewer said &quot;I love your background&quot; and I was like &quot;i love YOUR background, loving the wall paper and gold framed mirror!&quot; And she responded &quot;no I meant your work history is great for this role&quot; 🥴&mdash; Whacktose Intolerant (@MillyTamarez) October 7, 2022 Tropical vacation is the best background for a job interview, and then keep asking about how much time you get off the entire time.9. Assumptions make an ass out of u and me?i thought the barista was going to ask me if i wanted a straw, but unfortunately instead she said ‘have a nice day!’ to which i replied ‘no thank you’ and then drove away&mdash; nash flynn, (@itsnashflynn) October 7, 2022 Everyone&#39;s done something like this.10. Spooky season budget buster.It’s very difficult to talk about staying within a budget with your husband when you have skeletons in your closet, specifically a 12-foot one, that you bought yesterday.&mdash; Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 7, 2022 Unfortunately the skeletons in our closets are very real, and much scarier than a 12 foot decoration.

Here are today&#39;s tweets! We&#39;ve got cute, funny, political, and weird, among other things. Take a look. We hope you enjoy!  1. Plan for tonight.    Glass in hand, ready to go.  2. Burgers are getting buttered tonight!    Sorry,...