10 utterly random tweets to put a smile on your face today.

Oct 8, 2022 | 3:23 P.M. ET

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Here are today's tweets! We've got cute, funny, political, and weird, among other things. Take a look. We hope you enjoy!

1. Plan for tonight.

I meant to be productive but I got trapped under this blanket and some wine accidentally spilled in my glass and this book just fell open in my lap
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 7, 2022

Glass in hand, ready to go.

2. Burgers are getting buttered tonight!

Midwest love story pic.twitter.com/6ImVACLUjT
— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) October 8, 2022

Sorry, it's very cute.

3. A different version of 'slow' quitting.

whenever my boss tries to talk to me i start punching myself in the head and saying “stupid stupid stupid” and he just leaves me alone
— teryn (@youngtiddy) October 7, 2022

Try saying, 'Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.' That should work as well.

4. Someone sued for the coffee being too hot.

McDonald’s staff harvesting apple pie filling pic.twitter.com/7g6bhOiYAN
— Paul (@bingowings14) October 8, 2022

Wonder if that works for apple pies?

5. Doesn't matter what your politics are, that's funny.

I feel we’re about two hours away from learning that Herschel Walker actually ran an abortion clinic.
— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) October 8, 2022

How many are we up to at this point?

6. Free beer?

Would someone please tell me what’s going on in my neighborhood? pic.twitter.com/1iqfkke9m9
— Emily Heller (@MrEmilyHeller) October 7, 2022

Definitely don't drink that.

7. Great British Bakeoff has lost its mind.

Mexican week is worse than we thought… pic.twitter.com/Kv355RYmm7
— Mx. D. E. ADerson (@diannaeanderson) October 7, 2022

If you're not following this controversy, enjoy...

8. Not the worst thing to happen in a job interview.

I was on a zoom job interview the other day and the interviewer said "I love your background" and I was like "i love YOUR background, loving the wall paper and gold framed mirror!" And she responded "no I meant your work history is great for this role" 🥴
— Whacktose Intolerant (@MillyTamarez) October 7, 2022

Tropical vacation is the best background for a job interview, and then keep asking about how much time you get off the entire time.

9. Assumptions make an ass out of u and me?

i thought the barista was going to ask me if i wanted a straw, but unfortunately instead she said ‘have a nice day!’ to which i replied ‘no thank you’ and then drove away
— nash flynn, (@itsnashflynn) October 7, 2022

Everyone's done something like this.

10. Spooky season budget buster.

It’s very difficult to talk about staying within a budget with your husband when you have skeletons in your closet, specifically a 12-foot one, that you bought yesterday.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 7, 2022

Unfortunately the skeletons in our closets are very real, and much scarier than a 12 foot decoration.

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