Twitter

<p>Whether you&#39;re planning to put on big socks and curl up with a book this weekend, or you&#39;ve got an outfit already picked out for the club, it always feels good to get yourself in the right headspace ahead of time.</p><p>And what better way to exit work mode and enter weekend mode than through some well-curated humor?</p><p>It&#39;s been a big week online, and no matter how bad or weird things get in the world, one thing is constant: people will be clowning online. Look no further.</p><h2>1.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Being in your 30s is weird. <br><br>Some of your friends are at Coachella.<br><br>Some of your friends are at home with their kids.<br><br>And some of your friends are at Coachella with their kids.</p>&mdash; MAURA (@mauraball) <a href="https://twitter.com/mauraball/status/1646848079881019393?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 14, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>2.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">my mom is a lawyer and when i was like 13 we got in an argument and she accidentally called me &quot;your honour&quot;. never really came back from that one.</p>&mdash; Katie Martin (@katiedimartin) <a href="https://twitter.com/katiedimartin/status/1653858979716399106?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 3, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>3.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="tl" dir="ltr">HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA <a href="https://t.co/yzHoAOskuM">pic.twitter.com/yzHoAOskuM</a></p>&mdash; Agnes (@agnesfrim) <a href="https://twitter.com/agnesfrim/status/1653064907607212033?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 1, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>4.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">watching succession and thoroughly understanding all the business deal plotlines <a href="https://t.co/B9G5KXkewP">pic.twitter.com/B9G5KXkewP</a></p>&mdash; julia reinstein 🚡 (@juliareinstein) <a href="https://twitter.com/juliareinstein/status/1652865470347763714?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 1, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>5.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">just had a therapist say “you know what, i don’t feel like i have the bandwidth for this right now, we need to reschedule” like 8 minutes into our session. and that was it, the call just ended. i need a second therapist to talk to this about lol</p>&mdash; Jessica Blankenship (@blanketboat) <a href="https://twitter.com/blanketboat/status/1653891959696547840?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 3, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>6.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">People who have drive and determination impress me. Yesterday one of my kitchen drawers got stuck and I was like, guess I’m never using a fork again.</p>&mdash; Jessie (@mommajessiec) <a href="https://twitter.com/mommajessiec/status/1654469460651134976?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 5, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>7.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Cleaning that up will cost a pretty penne. <a href="https://t.co/hU2j1JZepc">https://t.co/hU2j1JZepc</a></p>&mdash; Hend Amry (@LibyaLiberty) <a href="https://twitter.com/LibyaLiberty/status/1653946828046446593?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 4, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>8.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I’m kind of dying at all the dudes lamenting what women wear at the gym “nowadays” when this is the stuff people literally used to wear to workout in the 80s. <a href="https://t.co/FK3P4cRo5J">pic.twitter.com/FK3P4cRo5J</a></p>&mdash; celia (@_celia_bedelia_) <a href="https://twitter.com/_celia_bedelia_/status/1652752091394236416?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 30, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>9.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I’m in tears. This baker said she misread the customer text asking for a “Elmo” cake &amp; instead made an “emo” cake but realized last minute &amp; tried to improvise. Y’all 😂😂😂😂 <a href="https://t.co/5aUW2z1LeQ">pic.twitter.com/5aUW2z1LeQ</a></p>&mdash; I appreciate you. (@DeeLaSheeArt) <a href="https://twitter.com/DeeLaSheeArt/status/1653999900101685252?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 4, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>10.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">drama in the school whatsapp chat! the PTA invited us all to a coronation party and one of the dads (who&#39;s a professor of colonial history) said eat my dick</p>&mdash; Emma Szewczak (@EmmaSzewczak) <a href="https://twitter.com/EmmaSzewczak/status/1653731131131326467?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 3, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>11.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">This girlie did not use her class privilege to stop child labor in factories only for kids to be making nighttime Big Macs 120 years later. <a href="https://t.co/QdqQZn8PKg">https://t.co/QdqQZn8PKg</a> <a href="https://t.co/AUc5eDmBB8">pic.twitter.com/AUc5eDmBB8</a></p>&mdash; Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) <a href="https://twitter.com/RohitaKadambi/status/1653793033782198275?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 3, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>12.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.</p>&mdash; Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) <a href="https://twitter.com/Rollinintheseat/status/1654218855928016898?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 4, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">if i was the dj at a hockey game i would play the mmmmmwhatcha say song every time the opposing team scored to really drive home the vibe</p>&mdash; anne t donahue (@annetdonahue) <a href="https://twitter.com/annetdonahue/status/1654269761851670528?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 4, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>13.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Used to work at a vet clinic and secretly charged anyone who named their dog Bella a hidden fee of $2…easiest 15 grand I’ve ever made</p>&mdash; DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) <a href="https://twitter.com/StruggleDisplay/status/1653866111417430016?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 3, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>14.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">me: hey babe, are you Leonardo DiCaprio because you are keeping it under 25<br><br>slow driver in front of me:</p>&mdash; meghan (@deloisivete) <a href="https://twitter.com/deloisivete/status/1653032125661151232?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 1, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>15.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Cashier: Your total is $2,967.<br>Me: Okay. Please take off the greeting card.<br>Cashier: Your total is now $7.</p>&mdash; Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) <a href="https://twitter.com/AbbyHasIssues/status/1653918469627293698?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 4, 2023</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>16.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">This is Riley. He fell asleep on some chalk and woke up an LGBTQ+ icon. Not washing it off all month. 14/10 <a href="https://t.co/smHhRVPDxY">pic.twitter.com/smHhRVPDxY</a></p>&mdash; WeRateDogs (@dog_rates) <a href="https://twitter.com/dog_rates/status/1533848520138039298?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 6, 2022</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>17.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">my mom just ended my life <a href="https://t.co/FQKnc3B0w4">pic.twitter.com/FQKnc3B0w4</a></p>&mdash; Roshan Patel (@roshanpateI) <a href="https://twitter.com/roshanpateI/status/1534945017495752705?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 9, 2022</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>18.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Congress when they see a bill that benefits poor people: <a href="https://t.co/zLk1qsb6ga">https://t.co/zLk1qsb6ga</a></p>&mdash; Troll/Trapper of the Year (@Tashiee_J) <a href="https://twitter.com/Tashiee_J/status/1533509080387567617?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 5, 2022</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>19.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I SAID we supposed to be saving our money!!! <a href="https://t.co/zPMecvUDPe">pic.twitter.com/zPMecvUDPe</a></p>&mdash; Speed 🥀 (@Speedfromtx__) <a href="https://twitter.com/Speedfromtx__/status/1533198237603094530?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 4, 2022</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>20.</h2><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">happy pride to everyone who was terrified of getting wisdom tooth surgery bc they thought they might accidentally come out while under anesthesia</p>&mdash; grace (@viIlanevil) <a href="https://twitter.com/viIlanevil/status/1533084278233473025?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 4, 2022</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

20 funny tweets to kick off the weekend.

Bronwyn Isaac

Whether you&#39;re planning to put on big socks and curl up with a book this weekend, or you&#39;ve got an outfit already picked out for the club, it always feels good to get yourself in the right headspace ahead of time.And what better way to exit work mode and enter weekend mode than through some well-curated humor?It&#39;s been a big week online, and no matter how bad or weird things get in the world, one thing is constant: people will be clowning online. Look no further.1.Being in your 30s is weird. Some of your friends are at Coachella.Some of your friends are at home with their kids.And some of your friends are at Coachella with their kids.&mdash; MAURA (@mauraball) April 14, 2023 2.my mom is a lawyer and when i was like 13 we got in an argument and she accidentally called me &quot;your honour&quot;. never really came back from that one.&mdash; Katie Martin (@katiedimartin) May 3, 2023 3.HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA pic.twitter.com/yzHoAOskuM&mdash; Agnes (@agnesfrim) May 1, 2023 4.watching succession and thoroughly understanding all the business deal plotlines pic.twitter.com/B9G5KXkewP&mdash; julia reinstein 🚡 (@juliareinstein) May 1, 2023 5.just had a therapist say “you know what, i don’t feel like i have the bandwidth for this right now, we need to reschedule” like 8 minutes into our session. and that was it, the call just ended. i need a second therapist to talk to this about lol&mdash; Jessica Blankenship (@blanketboat) May 3, 2023 6.People who have drive and determination impress me. Yesterday one of my kitchen drawers got stuck and I was like, guess I’m never using a fork again.&mdash; Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 5, 2023 7.Cleaning that up will cost a pretty penne. https://t.co/hU2j1JZepc&mdash; Hend Amry (@LibyaLiberty) May 4, 2023 8.I’m kind of dying at all the dudes lamenting what women wear at the gym “nowadays” when this is the stuff people literally used to wear to workout in the 80s. pic.twitter.com/FK3P4cRo5J&mdash; celia (@_celia_bedelia_) April 30, 2023 9.I’m in tears. This baker said she misread the customer text asking for a “Elmo” cake &amp; instead made an “emo” cake but realized last minute &amp; tried to improvise. Y’all 😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/5aUW2z1LeQ&mdash; I appreciate you. (@DeeLaSheeArt) May 4, 2023 10.drama in the school whatsapp chat! the PTA invited us all to a coronation party and one of the dads (who&#39;s a professor of colonial history) said eat my dick&mdash; Emma Szewczak (@EmmaSzewczak) May 3, 2023 11.This girlie did not use her class privilege to stop child labor in factories only for kids to be making nighttime Big Macs 120 years later. https://t.co/QdqQZn8PKg pic.twitter.com/AUc5eDmBB8&mdash; Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) May 3, 2023 12.When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.&mdash; Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) May 4, 2023 if i was the dj at a hockey game i would play the mmmmmwhatcha say song every time the opposing team scored to really drive home the vibe&mdash; anne t donahue (@annetdonahue) May 4, 2023 13.Used to work at a vet clinic and secretly charged anyone who named their dog Bella a hidden fee of $2…easiest 15 grand I’ve ever made&mdash; DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) May 3, 2023 14.me: hey babe, are you Leonardo DiCaprio because you are keeping it under 25slow driver in front of me:&mdash; meghan (@deloisivete) May 1, 2023 15.Cashier: Your total is $2,967.Me: Okay. Please take off the greeting card.Cashier: Your total is now $7.&mdash; Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) May 4, 2023 16.This is Riley. He fell asleep on some chalk and woke up an LGBTQ+ icon. Not washing it off all month. 14/10 pic.twitter.com/smHhRVPDxY&mdash; WeRateDogs (@dog_rates) June 6, 2022 17.my mom just ended my life pic.twitter.com/FQKnc3B0w4&mdash; Roshan Patel (@roshanpateI) June 9, 2022 18.Congress when they see a bill that benefits poor people: https://t.co/zLk1qsb6ga&mdash; Troll/Trapper of the Year (@Tashiee_J) June 5, 2022 19.I SAID we supposed to be saving our money!!! pic.twitter.com/zPMecvUDPe&mdash; Speed 🥀 (@Speedfromtx__) June 4, 2022 20.happy pride to everyone who was terrified of getting wisdom tooth surgery bc they thought they might accidentally come out while under anesthesia&mdash; grace (@viIlanevil) June 4, 2022 

Whether you&#39;re planning to put on big socks and curl up with a book this weekend, or you&#39;ve got an outfit already picked out for the club, it always feels good to get yourself in the right headspace ahead of time.  And what better...