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Bride begs professional artist MOH to draw invitation for free, groom hires someone.

Bride begs professional artist MOH to draw invitation for free, groom hires someone.


While friends and family are usually happy to offer their talents to help out with the wedding planning process, requesting that your friends work for free on their wedding day is tacky behavior...

Just because your best friend happens to be a professional bartender doesn't mean they're going to be overjoyed to make and serve cocktails at your wedding for free for 9 hours so you can save on a catering crew. So, when a conflicted artist/Maid of Honor decided to consult the delightfully petty and judgmental Reddit group, 'Wedding Shaming,' about her cheap and entitled cousin's wedding request, people were eager to pile on.

Cousin begged me to make an e-wedding card for her FOR FREE...

My cousin is getting married in a couple of days and a month ago she asked me to draw her and her fiancé for an e-wedding card. I’m a commission artist and I did commissions before. I never did anything for free but she asked me in front of the entire family and everyone was asking me to do it for her.

So I gave in because me and her are pretty close and I wanted to help her out. Huge mistake.

I did ask for a tip though, and she said she will think about it. I told her I will only do the drawing and she should add whatever text she wants on the invitation and she was cool with it.

I was doing it at my own pace as the deadline was a bit far away. But whenever I take my iPad out to draw something, she used to force me to work on her drawing and ditch whatever I’m doing. She also apparently doesn’t consider this as a wedding gift and demanded I give her another gift.

I sucked it up because I loved her and gave her the final piece. And she basically ghosted me. Whenever I ask her if she added the text and to send it to me so that I could send it to my friends for the invitation, she keeps saying she’s busy and will do it.

Yesterday she asked me to send her the pic again and I did think that she’s finally gonna add the text. She didn’t say anything and this morning I woke up to 7 messages from her and all of them are different e-wedding cards SHE made (without the drawing) which is text only. It’s like she is rubbing it on my face that she deliberately didn’t use mine.

And the cherry on the top is that her fiancé hired someone to draw them as well and they decided to use that as well and mine was thrown out. I get that if she didn’t like it, she doesn’t need to use it but she never asked for any modifications and told me she totally loved it and can’t wait to use it.

I’m also the maid of honor and now I’m thinking if she’s gonna put me in an awkward spot again in the wedding. I did so much for her (even before this) and this is how I get paid at the end.

Asking for a huge favor in front of the entire family was a pretty trashy guilt trip on its own, but refusing to tip and then not even using the art? This bride needs a reality slap...

Are we even sure the groom paid the person he ended up hiring instead? Of course, the jury of internet strangers was eager to weigh in on this freeloading bride. Here's what people had to say:

gigabird said:

I'm going to gently push back on the idea of framing and giving the drawing as part of the gift. I wouldn't even spend that much on a gift at this point, IMO. I've been in a very similar situation where I designed wedding invites for a friend, was also in the bridal party, and also got taken advantage of a little bit.

By the time I got to the wedding I bought a simple $5 card, wrote a nice message inside congratulating her, wishing them well, tell her how happy I was to support her as a bridesmaid, and then just casually dropped a 'I hope my gift of wedding invitations helped make your day everything you dreamed of' in the middle. That was it.

I still got a thank you card from the bride and we're still friends. I don't think she'd ever tell me if that pissed her off or not, but I do think she understood that she couldn't say anything. My hourly rate for design work is way outside of what she could afford if she had to pay for it... I think the gentle reminder was just what she needed lol.

capmanor1755 said:

Let it go. She was a sh*t but 1) it was a good lesson in boundaries for you- now you're 1000% sure you don't do work for family and 2) Once you give a gift it's out of your hands. You agreed to make the gift and once you do can't control what does or doesn't happen. Go to the wedding, enjoy the free drinks. If she nudges you about the gift remind her that the sketch, worth$x, was your wedding present.

jasperjamboree said:

Get out of the MOH position now while you can and while it’s still early in the planning process. She’s made it clear that she’s using you for free labor and gifts. The using is going to get so much worse leading up to the wedding. “Unfortunately, I do not think I am able to fulfill the duties of MOH in your vision for your wedding.”

z-eldapin said:

Side note: I have never given a gift when I was in the wedding party. My gift was the monies spent towards all the parties. All the shopping. All the donated time to 'discuss the wedding'.

So, there you have it!

Everyone agreed unanimously here that this Maid of Honor needs to run as fast as she can away from any extra wedding responsibilities, but she can at least let this be a lesson for the future when it comes to letting her work be used as a favor. Good luck, everyone!

Sources: Reddit
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