Remember? Like the Phil Collin's song myth? Anyway this is a good one. One dad was at the park watching his kids when he saw a church across the street and got a front row seat to a remastered 80s rom-com.
Okay, so this is my dad’s story. It’s actually his favorite story too. He tells it every chance he gets. When I told him about this subreddit, he urged me to post it here. So, I’m gonna type it exactly the way he likes to tell it.
So, this took place in the 90’s. I was five-years-old. My dad had off from work and the weather was nice, so he decided to take my siblings and me to the park. Now, across the street from the park was a church.
There was ever a bunch of cars surrounding it, it was either a holiday or a funeral. Today, there were a bunch of cars, but judging from the décor, it seemed like it was actually a wedding going on.
We go to play in the playground. Dad sits at a bench, keeping an eye on us and enjoying nature. He hears organ music playing from the church. Then he hears something else.
A car’s engine roaring. Then tires screeching as this Audi swerves into the parking lot and parks sloppily. Then this guy quickly gets out and starts hastily decorating the car with ribbons and flowers, and tying empty cans on strings to the bumper.
Then he puts a banner on the trunk that reads, “JUST STOLE THE BRIDE, SUCKERS!” The guy then tidies himself up and marches into the church. Like he dramatically pushed open the doors and everything.
Dad is just watching in silence the whole time. We’re still off playing, completely oblivious. Like dad seriously can’t believe what he just saw. Was this really happening? Was this guy trying to go The Graduate on the new couple?
Dad was just at the edge of his seat, waiting to see what happens next. He has no idea who this guy is, or who’s even getting married. All he knew was he badly needed to see what happened next.
After forty minutes of nothing, the doors creak open and out trudges the guy. His head hanging down, his shoulders slumped. He gets into the car and sits there for a minute, before breaking down crying. And he just stayed there, crying away.
A bit later, the doors fly open and out comes the newly weds and their guests, throwing confetti as they get into their car and drive away. Dunno if anyone noticed him still parked there, because dad doesn’t remember anyone acknowledging him.
Dad never found out the context of what exactly happened, since he had no idea who any of these people were nor had he any desire to go snooping. But the fact that this guy had a banner bragging about stealing the bride was enough for dad to assume he wasn’t the hero of this story.
To this day, it makes dad’s list of “Things He Wishes He Could Have Seen First-Hand”.
Would have loved to hear about what went on inside the church too, but it must have been interesting to see this unfold from the outside for sure. At least he caught the beginning and the end... we can all fill in the middle part lol.
No wonder he loves telling that story. Leaves plenty to the imagination LOL
Was he in the church waiting to say “I object!” just to be ignored by everyone?
Given that Audi Man was inside for such a long time without any apparent commotion, I strongly suspect this happened:
Audi Man flings open doors dramatically. He expects that Bride will turn round, hand to mouth, and cry 'Oh My GOD! Groom, I can't marry you. I love this man instead.' She would run down the aisle to him and drive off into the sunset.
What ACTUALLY happened was, various guests turn round and 'tut' irritably at the interruption. Bride doesn't even notice because she's busy, you know, getting married. Or she does turn round, rolls her eyes ('God, it's HIM'), and turns back to the man she's marrying.
Audi Man, his grand entrance having utterly flopped, completely loses his bravado, sheepishly sits at the back and has to watch the woman he wants declare undying love and devotion to another man.
He can't leave because the glares of a host of scary older relatives at the back have pinned him to his chair and if he disrupts things again, they'll rip his face off and pin it to his arse. He's finally allowed to leave, a broken man.
I'd tell that story all the time too, oh my god! My favorite part is how everybody spills out of the place in revelry while dude's moping in his decked out car and the whole vibe is like 'eat shit, bud'. I can see it in my head, and it's amazing.
As I have no shame I would have walked over and asked what went down.
OP you need to get specific details in order to find the bride and groom. Assuming they got married in their 20s, they'd only be in their 40s. I'm sure if this got enough attention, it will end up on Twitter or tiktok and we can hear the backstory.
LOL Nah, I don't think that's necessary. To be honest, I think the story's funny enough as it is. There's really no need to go on a quest for the back-story. We'd really just be bothering them for something frivolous. (Plus, there's a chance whoever comes forward with a supposed backstory is just a rando lying for attention.)