Young children have no clue what's going on during a wedding, but many parents insist on bringing them as an excuse for adorable family photos or to, of course, cut the cost of childcare. Even if a wedding isn't explicitly child-free though, if there's a chance that your baby might ruin the vows...is that a risk worth taking? So, when a conflicted guest decided to consult the gloriously petty Reddit group, 'Wedding Shaming,' about how children can ruin weddings, people were eager to pile on.
I’ve never wanted to offer to take a stranger’s baby more in my life. My husband and I attended a wedding of a dear friend of ours. The wedding was small, less than 50 people, and the ceremony took place in a small chapel that just fit everyone.
The had high vaulted ceilings, everything made of wood and no textiles so you can guess that every loud noise echoed. The bride, groom and officiant didn’t have a microphone, but everyone could hear because the place was small. They had a phone set up on a stand for people to tune in online to the ceremony.
We sat second row, and the groom’s family in front of us, including his brother and his wife, and their two children. One was clearly under 2 years old and had no interest in what was happening.
Very early on, he started fussing which was (you guessed it) made loud due to the vaulted ceiling. The kid’s dad gave him car keys to play with, which the kid dropped many times on the solid wood floors, which was super loud. Then the child starts fussing more, and his parents don’t budge to take him out of the reception.
Instead they let him walk around, still crying, the groom’s brother following him, not even trying to step lightly. Eventually, in the last 5 minutes of the ceremony the kid’s dad took him out. This entire time, his wife sat as if the children were not hers, enjoying the wedding.
I felt so sad for the bride and groom, but also so annoyed that the mother of the groom said nothing to her son or his wife while she was sat right next to them and their crying baby!!
I wanted to offer to take the baby out for them, but my husband told me not to get involved (I didn’t even tell him, he just saw the look on my face and knew what I was thinking).
The rest of the night the groom’s brother chased his kids around the reception while his wife sat and enjoyed herself. I feel terrible for the groom’s brother...he should have been able to enjoy his only brother’s wedding.
They were the topic of the rest of the night because no one could believe what had happened and the disrespect or possibly the severe lack of awareness.
Of course, the jury of internet strangers was eager to weigh in on this child-free wedding debate. Here's what people had to say:
suchakidder said:
I was in my friend’s wedding where her cousin’s kid not just fussed, but got up and ran around the platform! My friends trying to say her vows and there’s a three year old zooming around us all.
His mom (brides cousin) was the officiant, so I guess she couldn’t really stop him (or she could have and made it funny, but idk if she can improv on the fly like that) but her husband did nothing but let him run around.
There will be almost 30 kids under 12 at my wedding if everyone on the list RSVPs yes, I’m instructing my officiant to just be quiet and stare at the parent if a huge interruption like this happens.
arrianym said:
If I were the bride I would have just paused the ceremony and asked the officiant to announce/ask for the child to be taken out. I don’t understand why people just pretend a screaming child isn’t there and just let their ceremony get ruined. If there’s a time to put away politeness, it’s at your own wedding ceremony.
Minimum_Reference_73 said:
There's often a lot of family pressure in these situations because grandma wants the whole family together or some such nonsense. I'd rather not bring super young kids to a boring wedding but if I was pressured into it by my husband's family, I would absolutely let the kids cry and run around.
emmegracek said:
I don’t understand why ppl don’t bring activities for their kids when they know it’s going to be boring? Under 2 is too young for crayons I guess, but like a teddy bear or something even lol?
Most people agreed that these parents should've found a better way to control their children during the ceremony, but family pressure can be overbearing at weddings. Good luck, everyone!