The raccoon eyeliner phase, the low-rise lace-up wide-leg pants, the clothes that are so over sized they're most sacks? Fashion evolves, and sometimes it's easier to just surrender, get in the car and go to Thanksgiving at grandma's house without starting a wardrobe war.
So, when a disappointed mother-of-the-bride decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about her failed plot to seek petty revenge at her own daughter's wedding, people were quick to pile on the shame.
My (52F) daughter (24F) has always been a sloppy dresser. She has never dressed up well when we go to nice restaurants or family parties, and only wore dresses or nicer coats instead of her usual outfit consisting of hoodies and jeans when we asked her several times.
I have always found her constant failure to dress nicely for us selfish, yet she refuses to see it as we do and does not see the issue with her behavior.
When she was 17, we had gone to a restaurant for my birthday and she had worn jeans, a T-shirt and a long jacket that she had only worn when she was asked to. The next day, she dressed up in a skirt and sweater and overall, a much nicer and more appropriate outfit to see her boyfriend without being asked to.
I was upset that she'd extend this courtesy to her boyfriend but not me. I had told her off for it before she left, but she was confused and did not see how selfish she had been.
Last week, she married the same boy and I had decided to let her see what it felt like to be seen as less of a priority on an occasion that is important to her, so without telling her I arrived at her wedding in jeans and a blouse instead of my prepared outfit. However, at the wedding I was shocked to see that my daughter did not seem to take issue with this.
She did not comment on my attire once throughout the day and has still been in the same level of contact with me yet has not mentioned or seemed to have cared. My husband, however, is angry at me.
He had tried to discourage me from swapping my outfit to a casual one and now is telling me that I had embarrassed him with my attire and that as mother of the bride I should have been more considerate of how it made him look to stand next to me.
I, however, thought he had agreed with me that our daughter's behavior was selfish and that this is nothing compared to the years of her refusing to put in the effort to dress nicely for us.
cocoaiswithme said:
Ma'am, you are grown. This is a beyond petty thing you decided to do at your own daughters wedding. Thank goodness your daughter clearly does not care how you look or what you wear. Even if you are ugly on the inside. YTA (You're the as*hole).
maskedluna said:
God, what an absolute powermove from her, I love your daughter. What a badass. Unbothered and just allowed you to fully embarrass yourself, haha! YTA
Few-Carpet9511 said:
You are holding grudges for 7+ years because a kid did not dress up for your 45th birthday? You are pathetic.
Prestigious_Back7980 said:
YTA, if you wanted to pick out someone's clothes, you should've gotten a Barbie doll, not had a child.
Live_Western_1389 said:
Wearing jeans to your birthday party offended you so much that you decided to prove your point by trying to embarrass her at her own wedding…and when she took no offense, it upset you even more? You can be sure the other guests had many choice words about your behavior behind your back.
How would I describe a mother who does that to her daughter on her wedding day? Petty, insecure, attention seeker, vindictive, and since you posted to ask this question-most definitely takes the award for YTA.
Everyone agreed unanimously on this one that this mother-of-the-bride is 100% in the wrong. In fact, she should be embarrassed by how wrong she is. Luckily this bride was too busy enjoying and and celebrating her special day like any normal bride to notice her mom's wardrobe choice.
Did this petty mother really think that her casual outfit would make her daughter apologize for prioritizing her teenage date over her mom's birthday years ago? Excuse me, everyone, I'd like to make a toast at my wedding for ruining my mom's birthday one time by wearing a business casual outfit. Good luck out there, everyone.