Bride upset, cousin shows up in wedding dress, family gets petty wine revenge.
An inappropriate game of 'Who wore it better?'
One woman writes about how they knew their attention-seeking cousin would try to ruin her other cousin's wedding. Sure enough, the problem cousin showed up wearing a white dress. Not just a white dress, but one that was shockingly similar to a wedding gown. So, this OP decided to enact some petty revenge of the staining variety.
'Try to ruin my cousin's wedding? I ruin your dress.'
So, a few months ago, my cousin 'Brooke' began planning her wedding. I was the bridesmaid and the back up maid of honor in case her sister who was the MOH had to cancel. We have another cousin, 'Peyton' who is honestly the worst.
She needs the attention on her 24/7 and will do anything for it. She has faked pregnancies, miscarriages, and once tried to convince the family that she was engaged and that the guy died, but she had never posted anything or told her own parents.
In our community, we go by the motto 'Without family you have nothing' or something like that idk so we always forgive her.
I knew that Peyton would try something, along with some of the aunties so I made a plan with the MOH, 'Haley'. We knew that at least one person would show up wearing white, so we had this plan where we would rent red dresses in different sizes and give them to the girls in white dresses who Haley and I would 'accidentally' spill wine or food on.
The day of the wedding, Haley and I are out in the lobby of the building and we see Peyton. She is wearing a full on wedding dress. Not only is it white, it has lace, she was wearing this giant white diamond jewelry.
Haley immediately got to work, going to the bar and getting a glass of wine and let me tell you, she deserved an Oscar. She walked over to Peyton and wobbled her leg a little and spilled the glass all over her dress.
She landed on the floor on her knees and with one hand she spread the stain in the front whilst apologizing saying how she was 'So sorry' and 'Let me try to wipe it off.' While her other hand with the glass spilled the rest of the wine on her backside, making it look like a period stain.
I walked and did my little 'Oh what a coincidence, we have spare dresses, come with me, we'll get you changed.' But I wasn't done.
There's this teen drama show from the early 2000's that I'm kinda obsessed with. The fake names will give you a hint. In the prom episode, two girls get into a fight and one girl writes in invisible ink, a bad word, and when she steps into the black light it shows.
So I made this concoction of lemon juice and some other stuff, you can look up how to make invisible ink, and while Peyton is changing I quickly write down some choice words, and gave it to her. The wedding goes off without another incident, surprisingly no one else tried to wear white. But at the reception, sh*t hits the fan.
Picture it, everyone entering the hall, we're all waiting for the bride and groom to make their entrance, and then she walks in. Peyton, with those choice words all over her dress. She looks around, admiring the decor and theme and is smiling like a moron.
Then she looks down, everyone staring at her. She smiles back at everyone but as the night goes on, people continue to stare. She thinks her hair is messed up, she thinks there's something in her teeth, but she could never guess that when she looked down, she would see those words. She screamed.
No joke she screamed bloody murder and everyone stared at her, wondering how it took her this long to notice. She ran out of the hall and left, her husband had to take an Uber home because she drove away so quickly.
The best part? Haley and I convinced her that it was the dress shop that did this. That they didn't clean it properly. We gave her a fake email with a randomly made up dress shop made that she has been emailing ever since. The most important thing is that Brooke had the time of her life.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Nice work! Do you and your cousin hire out your wedding services, lol?
Interesting concept... social malice as a service... Like Doordash for dealing with social situations.
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Get out of a party or family gathering
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'Grandma' comes to visit you at work and 'dies' in-office so no one doubts your story and you get a couple days bereavement
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Be a plus one at someone's high-school reunion
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Get back at a bad neighbor or coworker
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Finally get some sleep at night
Does she still wine about it?
I bet her cheeks were pretty rosé after that.
She used to be so bubbly but now she’s merlow.