16 customer service employees share their favorite 'well that shut them up' story.

Working in customer service is an endurance test that can make any otherwise friendly and positive person question all the faith they ever had in humanity and the greater good...

Oh, you're trying your absolute hardest to ruin a retail employee's day because you're in a bad mood like a hungry little toddler? So, when a Reddit user asked, 'Do you have any 'Well, that shut him up' stories from working in customer service?' people have handled the 'I'm going to need to speak to a manager about this' customers of the world were ready to reveal their secrets.

1.

A customer wanted to return a computer that was about a year old when I worked in retail. I asked him what was wrong.

'It just don't work.'

I powered it on, gets into Windows, connects to the wireless network, goes online. I open Office, everything seems to be working properly. I show it to him, ask him what's wrong.

'It just don't work.'

I asked him what was actually wrong with the machine (let alone why would you return a computer a year later).

'It just don't work. Are you saying if a car don't start, it works fine?'

At this point I had enough of the guy:

'No sir, I'm saying if there was a car and everyone could start it except one person, I wouldn't blame the car.' - RoflStomper

2.

Customer smoking in a supermarket, 2000. Staff member asks customer to stop smoking. Customer refuses to stop. Customer escalates to me, as customer service manager at the time.

I grabbed a fire extinguisher (large, CO2), walked up to the customer and said 'If you don't put the cigarette out now, I will be forced to assume you're on fire and act accordingly.' Customer dropped cigarette, stamped it out with her foot and left the store. - theducks

3.

I used to work for a grocery store in high school as a cashier. One busy Saturday, an older lady came through my long line with about $150 worth of groceries. Among her items was a prepackaged piece of meat from our deli department that is normally priced by weight.

Her meat did not have a printed sticker on the package and I would've needed to find a bag boy or manager to run to the deli to get it priced. Because we were super busy, i decided to wing it, and set it on my scale.

'looks like it's almost a pound, so...let's say...$2.77? Does that sound fair?' I began to ring it as a miscellaneous item.

'No it does NOT sound fair!' she yelled. 'You need to get that priced!'

Groans from the line began behind her, as I found a bag boy to run to get the price sticker. A manager came by to see what the commotion was about and the lady explained the situation. I explained why I had made the decision I made.

The manager of course stuck up for the lady (which we laughed about later) and she accepted the apology. We then waited for what seemed like an eternity of eye-contact avoidance and thumb twiddling.

The bag boy came back and handed me the pork. I smirked and showed her the price. '$2.78. Huh, I would've saved you a penny!' The man behind her chortled. Never saw her again. - rva_monsta

4.

Used to work in a pawnshop. We got lots of Jewelry in and a lot of times the person bringing in the jewelry would have no idea that some of their stuff was fake. Nine times out of ten they would get pissed and leave their stuff with us to be thrown out.

My co-worker accidentally left a really gawdy but fake gold chain out on the desk one day. A customer came in, noticed the chain and told us that we'd better put it away before someone stole it. I was about to, but then I realized I could have some fun. We ended up leaving the chain on the desk and would casually watch people as they came in to do business.

We caught a number of people trying to steal the chain. One guy in particular was talking us up and gradually pulling the chain off the counter. When he had successfully pocketed it and left the store my co-worker and I began to crack up.

Sure enough, about a week later the guy came back in with the chain that he stole and tried to sell it to us. When I refused to buy it he got pissed but then we showed him the security cam footage of him stealing it. We weren't even pissed. Someone that dumb deserves to live his life that way until he walks out in front of a bus or into a wood chipper. - Willie_Main

5.

I used to work at an amusement park, and between department transfers, I started in food which was by far, the worst of the 4 details (games, rides, pavillions). My stand made funnel cakes and corndogs. The average wait time on a busy day could be upwards of 30 minutes in the sun, which I'll admit sucks. It's not any cooler in the stand slaving over a 450 degree fryer. Anyhow...

This guy comes up, orders 4 corndogs. I ring him up and ask him if he wants any ketchup or mustard brushed on. He declines. I take his money, and hand over four corndogs. His little girl bites into one and then tugs on daddies arm and says she wants mustard.

I politely inform him that since she's already bitten out of her food, we can't brush it on; however if he'd head 50 steps to an adjacent building, he could skip the line and just grab some condiment packets.

Apparently this was unacceptable. Up until this point he was just a normal guy, suddenly, anger. 'DO YOU KNOW WHO I WORK FOR?! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?' I tell him no. He then half-chuckles to himself and points out his pregnant wife sitting at a nearby table and then begrudges the time he spent in line. I again reassure him they will give him some mustard packets if he walks next door. He loses his sh*t.

'I'M THE GOD-DAMNED REGIONAL DERP FOR COKE IN THIS AREA, I WILL BUY AND SELL YOUR A*S KID'...This self-aggrandizing and demeaning talk towards me lasted a full 60 seconds or so.

Then I told him 'we only carry Pepsi products', eat a d*ck. He was flush with embarrassment and rage, anyone within earshot is laughing at him - to spite me (really his little girl) he didn't go get mustard packets. He forever was known as MustardMan. - steelcitykid

6.

My folks used to own a Tastee Freez in South Carolina and I worked in it most summers as a teenager. Since it was a small town, everyone knew each other and most went to the same church.

One Sunday night, one of the ladies from church called in at about five minutes after ten and tried to order a 20 piece chicken nugget (never even mind that she called them McNuggets,) and when I informed her that we closed at ten and the grill and fryers were already cleaned and closed for the night, she got irate with me and started yelling in my ear about how she knew the owners of the place and she was going to get me fired and did she know who I was talking to.

I calmly replied that yes, Mrs. Greene, I knew exactly who I was talking to, since my parents and I lived right across the street from her and she had asked us in church that morning what time we closed for the night. We were never on speaking terms again. - [deleted]

7.

I worked at a drug store in high school. I had a German couple check out at my register, and they were incredibly rude. They we're bitching in German about the customers behind them in line, using vulgar language and what not. Apparently, I wasn't moving fast enough for their liking, and the woman called me a 'f*cking b*tch' in German, obviously not aware that that was the terribly impractical language that I took in high school. When I finished their order, I stared her in the eye and said thank you in her native tongue, and they both looked shocked and embarrassed. It felt good, man. - DjNeedles

8.

I used to work in Tesco, in England, as a team leader. Basically doing a manager's job, on a bit more than checkout operators wage. I wonder why I gave that up to become a teacher...oh yeah.

Anyway, at Christmas time, for some reason, we were quite busy. We had a good 35 checkouts in the store, and 35 of those 35 checkouts were open. Yet they were still queues. Ultimately, if thousands of people decide to do their Christmas shopping terribly late, and you have every single till open, what can you do?

Anyway, this woman comes over to complain that she had to wait. I explained that the checkouts were all in use, and we could do nothing. She asked why I wasn't on a checkout (something often asked - simple answer being that if I'm the one who has to sort out any problem in case any of the 35 checkouts break, or needs something, or a customer can't walk the five paces to change their broken packet of biscuits - and I'm on a checkout - nothing would be done), and demanded that everyone should be on the checkouts. Which they were.

'I want to see the store manager!' she demanded, 'You need to have more people working on the checkouts. Where can I see the store manager?' 'Well,' I replied, 'He's currently sat on that checkout there, because we are so busy.' She shut up. I really don't know what she wanted us to do. - burnleymichael

9.

A well dressed, business passenger bought a plane ticket on Continental from Indianapolis to Manchester. There are no direct flights so he would have to connect in EWR (newark, nj). After arriving in ewr he strolls over to the Manchester gate and sees a small 50 pax regional jet parked outside.

He thinks nothing of it and boards the airplane awhile later. After taking his seat and just prior to the boarding door being closed the flight attendant makes an announcement 'welcome aboard flight #### service to Manchester, NEW HAMPSHIRE!'

This guys goes completely ape shit. He starts scrambling to get his things and get off the plane all the while yelling at the flight attendant, gate agent, pilots, and other passengers. He was trying to go to Manchester in the UK (airport code of MAN) and he bought a ticket for MHT.

The gate agent was getting completely verbally abused by the guy at the podium as she tried to rebook him to the proper destination. She took it all in stride and was really trying to help the guy even though he was being a complete d*ck and going on and on about how it was a mistake in the computer.

And then she saw how much he paid for the ticket. Her exact words were 'you only paid 300 dollars for your ticket and you really though that was going to get you to England?' He was quiet after that. - [deleted]

10.

I worked in retail at customer service just after high school. A customer brought in an MP3 player he had CLEARLY cracked the screen on; yelling and screaming for a replacement. He was throwing the standard 'Better Business Buearu, never shopping here again, blah blah blah' tantrum.

The poor customer service rep (tiny 18yr old kid) tried her best to show him the Manufacture Warranty coverage and handed him the pamphlet. Not giving up his tantrum the next customer in line said 'hey man; she's just doing her job and you clearly broke the screen, which isn't their fault' The guy TURNS AROUND and faces the customer who spoke up; slaps him with the brochure the rep handed him, and yells at him 'MIND YOUR OWN F*CKING BUSINESS!'

At that point the greatest single event I've ever been witness to occured. The 2nd customer who got slapped takes the first TO THE GROUND AND HANDCUFFS HIM! He then states 'Sorry pal; you just assaulted an officer; I'm taking you in.' Turns out he was a plain-clothed detective; and was on-duty at the time. The first customer just didn't see the gun and badge on his belt ha! - JustAnAverageGuy

11.

I used to work at a video store, and after a while I got pretty desensitized to people throwing little hissy fits about late fees. One day a gentleman tried to rent a movie and I had to let him know he had accumulated some late fees on his account. Cue standard rant about having returned them on time, blah blah blah, '...and I'm just going to cut up my membership card when I get home!!'

I reached under the counter and grabbed a pair of scissors, held them out to him and said 'Well, you can do that here if you like.' He gave me a venomous look and left the store in a huff. And it felt so good. - shaggydogg

12.

I work at Ikea in Customer Service. On a daily basis we have customers come in with items that have been used, broken, old, without their receipt, some even not Ikea products and they are DEMANDING a refund. But the couple that really takes the cake tried to return to me a broken and rusty ironing board.

It was obviously used and without a receipt I'm limited with my options. We can only offer store credit if the item can be returned to stock in original packaging. Obviously, it wasn't. With a receipt you have 90 days to return your item in any condition. After I refused the return they asked for my manager. My manager offered to look up their receipt, couldn't find it so we couldn't take it back.

They then asked for her manager. Every time they got a 'no' they asked for the manager above. Eventually it got to our store manager (and the manager of Ikea 168 is a BOSSS, 6'5', hulk-like, and Swedish; he started as a cashier and made his way up literally from the bottom to owning the store). He came on down to the belligerent couple who were causing a scene because our customer service was apparently SOOOO poor.

After inspecting the item and removing their iron cover (which none of us did before, the item was that appalling we really didn't want to touch it) he finds the date stamp. It was from 2002. The couple got real silent because the entire time they said they've had it for less than 3 months. Our store manager said in the calmest voice I have ever heard in my life, 'I think it's about time you leave my store.' - soylillie

13.

I used to work in Best Buy services. It was sort of like Geek Squad before Geek Squad and it dealt with everything like TVs and VCRs and Junk. One day we had a guy come in and complain about his little video camera not working.

I agree to take a look at it even though there's not much I can do but send it back to the manufacturer for him. It will take some time but that was 90% of the problem people had with services. Naturally, this guy wants a new one on the spot and he starts getting REALLY loud about it.

So I call the manager because I can't piss in Best Buy without getting manager approval. While I'm waiting for the manager to come up I'm still tinkering with the camera in the back. I get some tools out and, hey, look I got the thing open for the guy.

A minute or so later I come back out when the manager gets there. The manager is talking to the guy as I move a computer up to the counter. I jump in and say 'hey, I don't think we should give this guy a new unit.' The guy gives me dagger eyes and the manager is like 'oh? why's that?' Then I play the footage of what is unmistakably someone running around a pool, dropping the camera which tumbles into the pool.

He had taken out the tape but it was recorded to the memory stick. Guy takes his camera and quietly leaves the store. Worth 2 years of an otherwise pretty annoying job. - barron42

14.

I used to work in a Deli restaurant and this lady comes in and rudely orders her food. I told her that every thing should come out all right and that I will double check for her to make sure her order would be correct. She insisted on getting LOTS of honey mustard on her sandwich.

I typed in extra honey mustard on the ticket. Sure enough her order comes out. And there seemed to be plenty of honey mustard there. But when I deliver it she bitches at me for not having the extra honey mustard I promised her and told me to 'f*ckin get a ton more honey mustard' for her.

I go to the back of the store. get an entire new gallon jug of honey mustard and plop it on her table. Her friends were laughing and she was steaming mad. She complained to the manager who thought it was hilarious and actually laughed in her face. - pivotpivotpivot

15.

I was eating at a taco bell once, and I was waiting to ask for some sauce while another customer was yelling at a kitchen employee. She had pulled apart her burrito and was complaining that there wasn't enough in it. I leaned over and said 'looks like 89 cents worth of food to me!' She stormed out. - JoColeman

16.

I worked at a photo printing lab, and we got people in all the time who claimed we were stupid and had messed up their pictures. One woman had us print 800 vacation pictures.

They were bad quality, dark, and out of focus. When she came to pick them up, she insisted that we had ruined them, that they were perfect in her camera, and that she had a very expensive camera and so there was no way the pictures could be dark or out of focus. We finally gave her her money back, even though we had done nothing wrong and were out a lot of time and paper.

She called us 30 minutes later and told us she was at a store across town, and they had reprinted all of her pictures and they were beautiful, in focus, and nice and bright. I had to tell her that the same person who owned our store also owned the store across town, and that not only would it have taken that store several hours to reprint 800 pictures, but their printer was down that day, so they couldn't have printed anything. She hung up on me. - laidymondegreen