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16 people share the most professional 'screw you' they've heard in the workplace.

16 people share the most professional 'screw you' they've heard in the workplace.


Anyone who has worked in customer service is familiar with the nightmare of attempting to show restraint while a temper tantrum of entitlement explodes at the cash register...

So, when a Reddit user asked, 'What's the most professional way you've heard/said, 'screw you,' in the work place?' people were ready to share the funniest or incredibly bold ways they've seen a coworker or employee shut someone down.


Overheard my boss once say 'Our policy is...(long pause while he loads up his phrasing, then clearly changes his mind and just says)' Literally thirty years ago and still gives me a chuckle - Ladybeetus


The f*ck you lawyer letters that I have seen usually start with 'Please be advised' and end with 'govern yourself accordingly.' - catjugglinpimp


'We don't need two weeks notice, you can leave this morning.' - SmarterThanAllOfYou


We have no plans to pursue the matter now or in the future. We ask that you refrain from further contact with us. - penny_can


'As per my previous email'


'Let's take this offline'


'Interesting. Moving on' - shinyhappycat


Putting 'I hope this helps' at the end of an email where I'm actually being unhelpful. - QueFabe


Attorney: I want these changes made to the document.

My boss: no.

Attorney: you have to make these changes!

My boss: I’m not going to.

Attorney: I insist!

My boss: but it’s not going to happen. So here we are. - catsasss


During a meeting a (British) manager made a comment about a TV show from the 1990s. New employee - who loves to emphasize he is young and others are old - says “That show was on before I was born.” Manager: “You should check it out. Things were good before you were born.”- hadashi


I had the sweetest old lady as a co-worker. She had been in the company for like 20 years. She knew more about our systems than most of our IT staff.

One day, a senior manager in the IT department comes in and tries to tell her that her code was wrong. She put her hand on her chest, shook her head, said 'Bless your heart darlin'' and turned around in her chair to continue working.

Our boss laughed so hard and calmly explained to the IT manager why the code should probably not be changed.- the_planes_walker


'To save any further confusion on your part...' had a brutal ring to it when I spotted that in an email chain!- Manthatsf*ckedup


'I'm terribly sorry you feel that way. Please feel free to contact our complaints department.'(To someone who wanted an appointment on a day when there were no appointments available, but insisted that she would come in on that day, at that time)

'You're more than welcome to come in on that day, but I'm afraid there will be nobody available to see you. You'll have much better luck if we simply book an appointment for a different day.'- Musashi10000


'I'll look into that.'- AnGabhaDubh


Once heard a coworker bust out in a monotone voice, 'Ma'am, I need you to know that I am not emotionally invested in this conversation. What do you need so we can both go on with our lives?' Really had to stifle my laughter in my cube next to her. - Corsmos


I was in a meeting where we were planning out a huge client presentation and one of the guys who was there just went off on a complete diatribe of how he would go about adding some flair.

He was known for being a loudmouth, and after about 15 minutes of his plans, the team lead just literally put up his hand and waited for him to stop talking. He sat there for 30 seconds in silence and then moved on. No addressing anything that was just said. - gellman


'If that is your understanding of the current agreement, we need to revisit the language so that your expectation levels can be set more appropriately.'- xmagusx


During an exit interview...
'Ya, I had a great 3 years here.'
'But, you worked here for 5 years...' - idioteques

Sources: Reddit
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