Woman's coworker furious after daughter finds 'adult toy' in purse; tells her boss. Updated!

AITA for my coworker's daughter going through my purse and finding something inappropriate?

Hi...So, long story short, I (F very early 20s) own a toy that looks like a lipstick. I was headed somewhere after work where I would need this tool, so in my purse it went. It was in a velvet pouch that was in a makeup bag that was inside a pocket that was on the inside of my zipped up, filled to the brim purse.

I put the purse where purses go (pretty high area of locker-like compartments) and went about my day. Mind you, the place where we leave personal belongings is outside my working area and no personal belongings are allowed past that point. We aren't allowed to use locks per the boss' request.

However, I got called to the front desk for my admin coworker wanted to return something of mine to me. When I got there, she told me that her not very old daughter had gone through my purse and found my 'lipstick.'

I stood there in disbelief and expecting an apology to follow her rant as she explained how her child had gone through my purse and through different pockets and mini purses to be able to find that.

She said she liked the shade and went to her mom to ask for something similar, then my coworker figured out it wasn't a lipstick once she opened it and saw no pigment and a charging port.

She flipped out on me saying how I shouldn't bring that anywhere near my place of work and I stood there, flabbergasted and all I could say is 'she went through my purse? why did you let your daughter go through someone else's purse that was out of reach?' I also told her I had not brought that anywhere near my workplace, as it was outside and tucked away.

I don't think her daughter knows what it was, but it's disturbing to me that she had to find a stool to climb onto the locker area, access my purse and then go through all of it till she found it. I want to make it crystal clear how out of reach the thing was.

We didn't come to any sort of agreement and kept blaming each other, so I apologized for her child having found it, as that was not my intention, and told her to keep her child out of my things or out of the personal belonging area entirely.

She told my boss about it (we have a very good work environment and boss is more a coworker than a boss) and boss advised her to keep daughter out of that room since anything legal could be in it, clarifying that legal doesn't mean daughter's age appropriate (alcohol, cigarettes, lighters...).

Now my coworker is bitching about it to whoever will listen (again, don't care, pretty good work atmosphere and we are all quite friendly and close, we talk about adult matters often after hours having a drink and one of them was the one to recommend the adult toy to me haha).

Coworkers are staying out of it although some of them have privately taken my side. However, main coworker won't let it go and is still butthurt. AITA?

Notes from OP:

Something I have left out of the post is that she is a single mom of three. She has three little ones there doing homework and such after school. One is barely a teen, the second is an 8yo boy and a toddler.

Oldest (who found my item) spends a few hours there while the little ones spend somewhat less. Everyone has tried to be as accommodating as possible and there had been no issue up until now that we had noticed... But who knows anymore. :s

Here's what people had to say:

Own_Wave_1677 writes:

After seeing some comments saying that the coworker could be the one that went through the purse... i wonder if the coworker actually tried to use it as a lipstick before realizing what it was and that's why she is still going on about it.

OnlyShoo OP responded:

Ewwwwww oh god no

Corpsegoth writes:

I have so many questions. Why tf was her daughter even there? How the hell did she get access to your purse in the first place? Absolutely NTA and I'd go to HR about the fact she won't stop telling everyone about it. That's harassment especially considering she is the one at fault.

OnlyShoo OP responded:

She was there because they lost their babysitter. She had to climb onto a stool to reach it…

hitsujiTMO writes:

Even if she doesn't know what it is, she could have 'tried on the lipstick' and then asked her mother what it was. Certainly would explain the anger after finding out her daughter rubbed that across her lips. Did she at any stage look like she was going to gag and throw up?

OnlyShoo OP responded:

Hahahahahaha oh I hope not, it was clean and disinfected but still I hope not!!! She didn’t gag or anything, no

Captainckidd writes:

Nta and your coworker is basically harassing you at this point by telling other people

kaekiro writes:

This needs to be called out more. This is illegal. It's in your personal belongings, not accessible during work hours, and no different than searching your car. You did not give consent to this search, and at bare minimum should not be humiliated for it.

This is grounds for creating a hostile work environment as that was likely her intention. 100% report her to HR or to your city/state board.

Update the next day from OP:

I just got off work. Coworker and children haven’t been in today… Boss walked in with a bag of what I’m almost certain were locks. I assume tomorrow we will find a bunch of locks. What I don’t know if is coworker will return? Maybe she just took a day off? We will see x.

Update 3 days later from OP:

I’m out early today (yay!) and a few things have happened.

My boss did install locks for everyone and apologized for the inconveniences to me, offered to replace the cost of the item too, since it had been going from hand to hand between mom and daughter. My coworker was reprimended but they didn’t want to let her go because of her family situation.

They checked the cameras and it was in fact the daughter that took it, but then she came back with the daughter to rummage through my purse, and check my ID to see who to confront. In the cameras you can see the girl going through lots of purses, but not taking anything from any purse, says my boss. I believe this is true because there were no other compensations to other workers.

My coworker was offered significantly less hours than what she was doing as a test try and wasn’t allowed to take the children anymore to work. She quit on the spot because she was offended by the cut of hours.

Here's what people had to say after the udpate:

ChickenSizzle writes:

11 is way too old to be behaving that way....I was expecting maybe 6 or younger

SalsaRice writes:

She knows what she was doing. She was stealing. She even went to show the mom the cool color make-up she (thought) she found. The fact that she was going to show the mom something she stole with zero attempts to hide it, let you know what kind of parent this was.

Cutwail writesL

Considering the mother didn't immediately tell her to put it back and stop being a sh*t just shows that the kids behaviour is not discouraged and instead the kid is somehow a victim?