April Fool's Day is nothing but a shitty window to our dumb future.

Seriously, April Fool's Day is just a reminder that we are so close to living in Black Mirror. (via Channel 4 on YouTube)

Every April Fool's Day, companies release fake products like they're show dogs, trotting them around the Internet and letting them pee on our metaphorical legs. In case you couldn't guess from my effervescent approval, I'd be fine if we eradicated April Fool's Day from the world (or at very least, the Internet.) But this "we're so clever," self-congratulatory hoo-ha from companies never ceases to amuse someone, somewhere, because this shit keeps happening.

The worst part about these April Fool's Day jokes (and pre-April Fool's Day jokes, because the "holiday" is starting to creep earlier and earlier) is how real they're getting. I get it — companies want to make up fake products that seem plausible. But as products like selfie sticks and vapeable clothing have shown us, today's jokes are tomorrow's disturbing future. Behold: Five dumb April Fool's Day products that will probably be real all too soon.