John Oliver would like you to repeat after him, and no, it's not a prank.
April Fool's is a terrible holiday. The only good thing about it is that all the a-holes in your life will helpfully step forward and identify themselves. John Oliver would like you to pledge to stop this. I can remember the exact moment I decided I hated April Fool's Day. I was on vacation, spring break to be precise, and I asked a friend what time it was. She told me it was two hours earlier than it was (we were outside doing fun outdoorsy activities). I was surprised, but I was delighted to have a lot of extra time to have fun. Then I was really late to meet up with people. "April Fool's," she said, as if lying right to my face was a prank. That's not a prank, Logan. You just lied to me. You looked right in my eyes and lied.