All we want for Christmas is round-the-clock surveillance on Marc's home and van (he so owns a van).
Is this the state of love in 2012? We haven't dated for a while, but the last time we were single getting a girlfriend didn't require much more than making a few flyers with the word "LONELY" printed above a bunch of tear-away phone numbers and posting them on coffee shop corkboards with the used futon ads. Is it so hard for a guy with penciled-on eyebrows to racially profile the love of his life that he has to resort to billboards? Oh wait, he's still on AOL. If anyone knows Marc, please videotape the moment when he realizes he could have saved several thousand dollars had he known about the existence of Craigslist, OKCupid, AdultFriendFinder, or Naughty America's "Latin Adultery" channel. Gracias!