The phrase "sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me" doesn't take in to account the potential damage inflicted by a particularly vicious insult or burn. But while words can be used as a weapon, they can also be a very effective shield. There's no better way to put an adversary in their place than responding to their insult or burn with a witty, perfectly-timed comeback.
You may want to keep these in your back pocket should you ever need them.
1.) From RedIguanaLeader:
A friend in highschool on our way to a track meet. He was staring at a car in the parking that was really nice. When this dbag saw him.
Dbag: “why bothering looking at that when you know you’ll never be able to get one?”
My friend: “the same reason you watch porn”
The entire bus erupted and it’s still one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.