Poor, sweet Siri just wants to be a good robot assistant and do what she can to make our sad little lives slightly more manageable. Unfortunately for her, humans are disgusting, philandering, substance-and-self abusing creatures who can't drive worth a damn. This commercial parody from Improv Asylum reveals just what kind of deep, dark secrets she's going to have to listen to, and why she might become the first digital assistant to learn how to digitally vomit.

Siri now trying way too hard to help people get abortions >>