The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.
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The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

"Nowadays everyone has to look like a french fry to get laid!"

The gym can be an intimidating place, what with all the grunting, weight dropping, and people who actually have the discipline to follow through on their commitments to get in shape. That said, not everything you see at your local health club will make you feel inadequate as a human being. In fact, certain strange sightings can make you feel downright superior. Here are some examples of enjoyable ridiculousness to serve as your incentive to get back in the gym if for no other reason than to laugh at others.

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

Be afraid, America. Be very afraid.

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

It was a simpler time, when having a he-man's balls in your face caused nary a giggle.

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

Yeah, sounds like a typical day at the gym for hot ladies.

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

"Endure" is the perfect motto for this guy and everyone around him at that moment.

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

"The key is repeat business - make sure your customers are never all the way fit."

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

"What's great is I don't even have to change before D&D with the guys!"

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The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

Two injured as grandmother crushes child, breaks hip.

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

Even if the imagery is intentional, wouldn't that be distracting during a workout?

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

Yoga is about being in touch with the whole body — of other people.

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Stilettos help work the calf muscles. Wind resistance boosts the calorie burn. Or something.

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

Every dead grandpa who ever complained about baggy pants just got their wings.


Watch the lines on the floor under her crotch. She was great in Dodgeball, though!

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

Why would you lose weight if you already have that beautiful leopard-print tent to wear?

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The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

#147 on the list of Things You Will Never Ever Be Able To Do.


Please say this isn't real, please say this isn't real, please say this isn't real. Crap. It's real.


In case you ever wondered what a methed-out dolphin doing sit-ups looks like.

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

Looks like someone's in the middle of a getting-ready-for-a-date montage.

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

It's like Craigslist Casual Enouters, in sign form.


Daily planner: 2:15pm - Lift weights. 2:16pm - Accidental Nap.

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The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

What if the aliens are on a diet? Did you think about that? No. You didn't.

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

Versus "Sit here and just watch the TV mode."

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

The money the school saved on heating oil let them keep the tuba choir running this year.

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

This is the last thing the fatties read before the aliens ate them.

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

In fairness, the gym is in Canada where they probably measure time like this.

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The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

The key to staying fit is shocking the muscles.
Unplanned injuries are a GREAT way to do that.

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

Sex is the only rational reason for people to get in shape so this makes perfect sense.


The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

"No pain, no gain." This lady gets it.


The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

One day you'll be this old.
Let's hope that when you are you get a chance to stab another old person with a sword.

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Bro, your elbows are looking HUGE. Have you been working out?

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

Look, no one can be expected to walk up twelve steps AND work out in the same day.

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

In fairness, carrying the chair to the treadmill counts as exercise.

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

Dropping 150 lbs. on a baby would be forgiven in time, but the jorts? Sorry dude.

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The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

Finally, a set of gym rules that appeals to our laziness.

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

This is a GREAT deal if you happen to own a share in this gym's profits.


As they say: "Dance on a treadmill like no one is watching. And videotaping."

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

Ohhhh, so "SPOT ME!" means "dangle your balls on my chest erotically as I lift weights."

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The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

When will we rise above all this gym equipment-based misogyny?

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

No, dummy, you're supposed to crap in the sauna AFTER you workout.




If you want to look important talking on a cell phone at the gym, make sure it's not a StarTac.

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

The "Downward Facing Bro."

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What are you, a Beverly Hills housewife? This is what you deserve for doing pilates.

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

It's like doing a Daily Jumble in the New York Times.

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

In her younger days, Grandma modeled for gym wall silhouettes.

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The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

Ours only works in European "outlets." (Get it? Just kidding, ours doesn't work at all.)

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

The world's sluttiest plumber?

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

Growing cyber crops never takes a vacation.

The 48 most absurd things ever seen at the gym aside from you.

Welcome to Sisyphean Health & Fitness.

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Smart-ass responses to well-meaning signs >>

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