Advertising

As some smartass who didn't feel like learning anything once said, "ignorance is bliss." Redditor Fawesum disagreed, recently having his/her desire for sad, horrific bits of knowledge fulfilled hundreds of time over in a Reddit thread where they asked 'What is something I'm better off not knowing?' Here are the best submissions that you will instantly regret having learned. Read at your own peril, because many of these are bound to keep you up at night.

Advertising

1. kh9hexagon wants you to know the Challenger Explosion was worse than you thought it was.

The Challenger astronauts didn't die when the shuttle "exploded". The stack actually just broke apart under aerodynamic stress and the explosion you thought you saw was just the expanding cloud of hydrogen from the external tank burning. The forces involved in the breakup were very survivable.

The crew cabin was left intact after it separated from the rest of the orbiter and may not have depressurized. There's evidence to suggest some or all of them were conscious at least part of the way down, if not the entire time. And photography of the disaster shows the cabin falling without spinning in a nose down attitude, meaning no excessive forces to knock them out.

The impact with the ocean was what actually killed them. It took two minutes and forty-five seconds from breakup to impact. It's possible that some or all of them were conscious and aware the whole time.

Advertising

2. I_just_hate_you_all's coworkers are lazy. They do not work in a job where that is okay.

I can't begin to tell you how many times I have heard "fuck it" when working.

By the way, I do heavy maintenance on jets for the Air Force.

3. Thanks to VictorBlimpmuscle, otters won't be cute to you any more.

The whole "otters rape baby seals to death" thing - you probably already know about it, but you were better off when you didn't.

In this comment thread, redditor Whelpie generously supplied a perfect pull quote to highlight the spawns of Satan that are otters.

Bizarre as this behavior may seem, Harris and her co-authors point out that it is not dissimilar to standard sea otter mating protocol, in which males will often approach the female from behind, grip her around the chest with his forepaws, and grasp her nose or the side of her face with his teeth. Although the female frequently resists, generally the two eventually spin in the water, the male behind the female, until mating is complete. Here, too, the encounters may prove fatal for the female, either as a result of wounds inflicted from the male’s bites and scratches or because of drowning. Harris and colleagues describe one instance in which a male otter held a struggling female underwater until her body became limp and then copulated with her several times. Indeed, trauma related to mating was responsible for 11 percent of deaths in fresh southern sea otter carcasses examined between 2000 and 2003.

Advertising
Still want to snuggle up with these sadistic fucks?
Still want to snuggle up with these sadistic fucks?

4. talking_taco will make you think twice before boasting about your proficiency in Excel on your resume.

Excel. The more you know, the more you have to help everyone else.

5. This bit of information from Starwars_8372161 could've ended the world not so long ago.

For 20 years after 1977 the nuclear code was 8 zeros

00000000

6. Naweezy's comment may be the most unnerving (unless you're currently one of the many serial killers currently operating in America).

According to a former chief of the FBI's Elite Serial Crime Unit, "A very conservative estimate is that there are between 35 and 50 active serial killers in the United States" at any one time.

Advertising

7. juiceboxheero just ruined Dr. Seuss for you.

Dr. Suess cheated on his wife who was dying of cancer, which caused her to commit suicide. This is her suicide note:

"Dear Ted, What has happened to us? I don't know. I feel myself in a spiral, going down down down, into a black hole from which there is no escape, no brightness. And loud in my ears from every side I hear, 'failure, failure, failure...' I love you so much ... I am too old and enmeshed in everything you do and are, that I cannot conceive of life without you ... My going will leave quite a rumor but you can say I was overworked and overwrought. Your reputation with your friends and fans will not be harmed ... Sometimes think of the fun we had all thru the years ..."

Advertising

8. Jonesksf648's fun fact will probably suddenly jump to the front of your brain right as you feel a heart attack coming on.

The chances are that there are fewer ambulances in your area than you think there are. At any time your area could go on "status zero" right before you get into a life threatening accident or medical problem. This means that you will have to wait for an ambulance to clear up from a hospital so they can respond to you, which could take a long time.

It's especially bad if you live in a rural area.

9. No one needed to know this, a_supertramp, let alone see it via the hyperlink.

koala bear babies eat their mother's green, eucalyptus-y shit directly out of the ass in order to gain the organisms to break it down in their own stomachs and it's super sticky and gooey when you watch them eat it.

Advertising

10. dochmuzyk wants you to be very, very paranoid.

What everyone is thinking about you at the exact moment the thought crosses their mind. I know I've thought some pretty mean things about my friends that I would then dismiss (because it was neither true nor important). But if you're hearing the thoughts without the afterthoughts/dismissals, then it could hurt.

11. At this point, Jun_snow's submission will make you lose hope in all animals.

Dolphins sometimes kill their cubs and play with the corpse.

12. Damn it, gerwer.

What sexual position your parents used to conceive you.

Advertising

13. Ducky noooo...a true bummer from Kesskas.

The little girl who did the voice of Ducky in The Land Before Time was murdered along with her mother by her father who then shot himself afterwards.

14. Johnny_America reminds us that Beck's music is secretly tainted with L. Ron Hubbard.

That Beck is a Scientologist.

15. Saving the most personally devastating comment for last, PainMatrix goes for our unfulfilled jugulars.

Your true potential. In other words, everything you could have accomplished if you had just applied yourself more and in the right way.

Sources: Reddit