When Facebook crashes, most people take to Twitter so they can see if any other addicts are also having trouble getting their fix, but a recent string of Facebook outages prompted concerned citizens across America to call the police. Apparently, Facebook users who can't vent on Twitter or Pinterest can think of no better solution than to call the police, because having your distractions stolen is kind of like getting mugged, if getting mugged was painless and actually gave you back time and brainpower you would have otherwise wasted.
From the Houston Police Officers' Union, who must explain that the police cannot fix Facebook:
Sadly this is not a new phenomenon. The Los Angeles Sheriff's Department made the same request just last year:
You might find this surprising until you think about the ways in which most people actually use Facebook: posting ridiculous statuses and starting comment feuds, or asking questions that are so dumb it's surprising the people posting them even know how to use the Internet. The police are not here to protect and serve Facebook. They're here to engage with us on Twitter instead.