The semi-annual Apple Special Event, a two-hour long infomercial for the company's latest doohickeys, was streamed live on Wednesday. This year's event debuted the iPhone 7, making you feel bad about your janky-ass iPhone 6 by introducing new features you didn't even know you needed. While Steve Jobs and his turtleneck are greatly missed, CEO Tim Cook was a masterful Master of Ceremonies, riding up to the event singing with James Corden and Pharrell.