It's 8:24 PM. Do you know where your kids are?

They could be doing drugs in a local crack den, or worse, sneaking out of the house to find imaginary creatures in the neighborhood in Pokémon Go. As one mom who lived through this nightmare asserts, dorkiness is worse than drugs.

Bulbasaur smokin a fat blunt.
Bulbasaur smokin a fat blunt.

Jeremy Christian, like the rest of the planet (except for Canada), was on his quest to be the very best like no one ever was when his mom angrily inquired where the HELL he was.