The Internet can be a wonderful educational tool for children, but parents know that the online world is also an endless cesspool of very dark, NSFW things. Kids love watching adorable puppy videos, ridiculous Internet challenges, time-wasting optical illusions—but as much as you may want to deny it, they watch porn too.
Kids have a burgeoning curiosity for the weird, the gross, and the inexplicable. The proof can be found in their Internet history. On these various Reddit threads, parents and people who know parents shared the strangest things they found on a kid's Internet history. Brace yourselves.
1. OMFGORLY describes a kid who had one too many schadenfreude moments.
Not me, but my boss told me a story of his 8 year old son's YouTube history.
Apparently he would take the Ipad and just watch videos of Asian children crying for hours on end.
2. Fortunately, Wisdom_Of_A_Man's kid doesn't know how to spell.
My ten year old googled, 'sexy fagina.' His spelling is atrocious.
3. _Goose_'s daughter is living in a fairy tale world.
My daughter was googling to see if you could marry cartoon characters. She has been obsessed with Flynn from Tangled ever since the first time she watched it.
4. Uikutoru describes a kid who forgot his entire family was friends with him on Facebook.
I had a gf whos little brother around 11 found out about pages like "big boobs sex". "Naked girls butts". On Facebook. Liked about 200 of these kind of pages in just an hour. His Facebook account was filled with relatives and friends from school.
I could feel his shame when his mom found out and started screaming as it sunk into him that everyone had seen what he had done the past hour...
5. Tenclubber's son did what any 16-year-old would do, right?
My son is 16 now so this was about 4 years ago. I had got a new tablet and he had gotten in the habit of taking it into his room to play games on.
I got curious one day and looked at the search history. "Pokemon cheat code", "halo map", "big boobies", "dick suck", "minecraft"...
It was such an odd mix I had to laugh. I bookmarked some sites that he could look at that weren't hardcore porn...SI Swimsuit site, etc. I let him know he could look at these and it was ok. The last few years he's had his own laptop and I really don't even bother anymore. Trying to control a teenage boy's masturbatory habits is the definition of fighting a losing battle.
6. Lexingtonlulz's seven-year-old is more Nightmare On Elm Street than Sesame Street.
My 7-year-old's browser history contained searches for serial killers. Am I worried? No, because I was around that age when I began to show interest in them as well.
7.CrimsonRainCR's daughter has a very strong sense of patriotism.
My kid looked up Ruth Ginsburg naked, Clinton naked, Hillary Clinton naked, followed by Spongebob, Lyrics Life On Mars, ending with Condoleezza Rice naked.
Needless to say, there was no more Internet for her. Still trying to figure out why she wanted to see those people of all people naked, but we can't talk about that, too weird.
8. After reading Abacon4's story, you'll never see Ninja Turtles the same way again.
Step daughter was into ninja turtles for a while. She would read fan fiction and role play with some random people. She would pretend to be pregnant with turtle babies (triplets) and another time she was one of the ninja turtles having gay sex with another turtle. A direct quote was "I rub my dick on your dick and moan lightly"
There are somethings you do not need to find.
9. RamsesThePigeon describes a tech-savvy kid who will definitely go places.
While I am not a parent, I once helped a family set up their home computer network... and in the course of doing so, I ran into a patently bizarre sort of family feud.
At the time of this story, I was casually acquainted with a young woman who had, via a process of not-so-subtle suggestion and outright pleading, convinced her aunt - Ellen, we'll call her - to finally get her children (ages ten and twelve) their own personal computers. Why this was such a powerful obsession for my friend is still unknown to me, but I agreed with the sentiment. After all, these kids had been limited to using the "family computer" for the majority of their lives, which had made school projects and socialization alike into somewhat difficult tasks.
After having finally been convinced, Aunt Ellen bought each of her children a desktop computer. Then, to further cement her household's position in the Information Age, she switched from the bottom-rung DSL connection they'd been using and upgraded to a respectably fast cable service. (The inclusion of television channels and a home phone line may have helped her with that decision.) However, she discovered with some dismay that setting up her network was a bit of a daunting challenge. That's where I came in.
At first, this seemed like it would be a simple endeavor: I'd just set up a router, install a couple of wireless NICs, and be done with it. However, Aunt Ellen had a few special requests.
"The most important thing," she told me, "is an Internet password."
I nodded my understanding, though I wasn't completely sure what she wanted. "Do you mean a WiFi password?" I asked. "Something to protect your wireless network?"
"Oh, yes, certainly that," replied Aunt Ellen, "but I also want to keep my kids off the Internet if it's past dinnertime. That's when all the creeps come out."
Well, that was fine. I had some private thoughts on the matter, but I wasn't there to offer parenting advice or play Internet Educator. I set up the network, put the necessary conditions in place on the router, and moved on.
"Okay, great!" Aunt Ellen said, visibly pleased. "Next, put passwords on each of the new computers." She didn't immediately offer an explanation for this, but my assumption was that it was to keep her son (the ten-year-old) from snooping on his sister's machine (and vice versa).
"Do you want to have your kids set up their own passwords?" I asked.
Aunt Ellen's answer was accompanied by a look of shock. "Oh, no, no! No, only my husband and I will know them. I don't want my kids on the computer without permission!" Again, this seemed counterproductive to me, but I held my tongue and did her bidding. With everything complete, my final task was to reconnect the "family computer" to the network, and go on my merry way.
I didn't know it at the time, but my job was only halfway finished.
The following day, I received a phone call from my friend. Her Aunt Ellen, it seemed, was having some unspecified difficulties with the new network setup, and she wanted to know if I could stop by to help with them. I was wary of becoming the family's personal IT technician, but the fear that I'd done something wrong brought me back to their house. Upon arrival, Aunt Ellen explained to me that her husband had been unable to check his email the night before.
"I know you did your best," she said, "but do you think maybe something went wrong?"
"Well, I can certainly find out," I replied. "Do you know if he used the right password? Remember, if it's after seven, you need to enter it first."
Aunt Ellen smiled and nodded. "Oh, yes, definitely! I even tried it myself."
I was skeptical, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt and pulled up the router's configuration page. Everything seemed to be in order... except for an extra entry that I'd never seen before. It specifically locked a handful of URLs - each of them clearly pornographic in nature - and had the curious label of "NoFacebook=NoPorn."
"I need to check something," I told Aunt Ellen. "Do you mind if I look at..." I thought for a brief moment before continuing. "May I look at your daughter's computer?"
We went up to the girl's room, and had a look at the computer in question (after Aunt Ellen made me avert my gaze while she entered the necessary password). Lo and behold, somebody had created a second administrator account, and their browser history showed that it had been used the night before to access the router. Suddenly, it dawned on me: I'd never changed the router's default password, and Aunt Ellen's sweet, innocent, twelve-year-old daughter had taken it upon herself to passive-aggressively block her father's access to his pornography.
It was, to say the least, an awkward predicament.
Fortunately, I managed to resolve the situation while leaving everyone's pride intact, although it took a lot more finesse than I had expected the task to require. In the end, the father's browsing capabilities were restored, the router's password was changed, and nobody (save perhaps the twelve-year-old) was any wiser... and even though I undid her work, I left the bent paperclip that I saw beside the girl's keyboard.
TL;DR: A precocious preteen passive-aggressively prohibited paternal pornography.
10. After you do a search on AmishNeckbeard's weird fetish, delete it. Immediately.
My dad caught me looking up "dongcopter pirate."
11. You don't want Hschupalohs' friend as your older sibling.
Not a parent. However, I was around a lot when my friends would torture their younger siblings. One time, I was at a friend's house, and he wanted to fuck with his little brother. While his little brother was out, we got ahold of his laptop to check out his internet history. Apparently, his brother had a thing for "chicks with dicks." We found one particular image of a lady-boy with a huge boner, wearing an M. Bison hat.
Naturally, we saved it as his background image, took a screenshot, deleted all of his desktop icons, hid the menu bar, and changed his admin password.
12. Let Ultravibe remind you of the many times you ended up on the strange side of the Internet.
My friend's kid searched on cows pooping, and apparently watched many YouTube videos of cows pooping.
13. It's probably just a failed auto correct, Northerndreamer? Still, it's weird.
Flared ass-hole fights tyrannosaurs rex. Four years old + ESL (her mother is Scottish) + learning how to use a computer.
14. If you spot Iron_Rogue in an aquarium, he or she will definitely be in the Octopus section.
I'm the child. I was usually pretty good about clearing browser history, but the one time I fucked up and forgot was the one time my dad needed to check the history for a site he visited the previous day. I got a stern lecture about clearing browser history after that.
I was 12. The search was "12 year old tentacle porn". I'm probably on a list.
15. DamFogelbert's kid doesn't like this retired NFL player. Or does he?
This was a sentence in the Google search bar: "Deer eating pizza while getting a blow job from Brett Favre"... pretty creative if you ask me.
16. private_throwaway_ says his daughter is really into some "gruesome stuff."
Throwaway because I haven't told my wife yet, and I'm not sure how to begin that conversation just yet.
We have a PC in a room beside the kitchen which she uses and from time to time I check the history, to make sure nothing crazy is going on. So far nothing too weird of wild apart from this. Apparently for the last 2 weeks she has been visiting death and gore sites like mentalzero.com and documentingreality.com. If you're brave enough to look you can get an idea of what I'm talking about, it's really gruesome stuff.
I haven't noticed any changes in her behavior, usually she's pretty happy and does well in school. I'm pretty honest with her and we've had awkward conversations in the past which went well but I don't know how to approach this. I'm kind of worried this could be her developing into a psychopath perhaps. Generally she doesn't get a lot of exposure to violent media, probably the worst films she has watched would be stuff like twilight and batman but the vast majority of stuff she watches is pretty much age appropriate. The most violent video games I have seen her play are tower defense flash games or simple flash zombie survival games.
She is kind of an oddball sometimes I guess but I feel like this is something I should be worried about.
I don't know if anyone here has been through anything similar but it's kind of freaking me out. I was probably late teens at least before I saw my first picture of a dead body or extreme gore.
What do I tell her? I mean it's not wrong, but getting desensitized to that stuff while she's still a kid, it honestly freaks me out a little.
17. TheDankMemeDude could surely help out #16.
My parents, if they had looked through my history, would have found a bunch on medieval torture methods. I was 9.
Lesson: delete your browser's history, double check that it's deleted, and then triple check.