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Today, October 13th, 2016, like every day of the last 15 months, and for the next 25 days, was full of Donald Trump news. While you were offline or too distracted actively contributing society to scroll through the interwebs, here's what you missed, featuring things as inconsequential as Kylie Jenner to the prestigious AF Nobel Prize.

1. People magazine writer Natasha Stoynoff shared her harrowing story of when she was assaulted by the tiny hands of Trump.

2. Trump once saw a 10-year-old girl and saw a potential girlfriend.

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3. Palate cleanser after disgusting Trumpiness: A hero edited in Ron Howard to the biggest election since George-Michael Bluth and Steve Holt.

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4. A Hibaji makeup artist's Harley Quinn costume is way better than the movie Suicide Squad.

5. Cool Aunt Kylie Jenner hung out with King Cairo, her future nephew/boyfriend's son.

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6. Ken Bone got the sexy Halloween costume treatment to make you sweat through your red sweater.

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7. And finally, Bob Dylan went and won the Nobel Prize for Literature, and Twitter talked how does it feeeee-al.