"Stay away, Grandpa — this church service is for KIDZ only! That's right, we used a "z" instead of an "s," because we don't conform to the spelling rules of man. Our only dress code is a backwards hat and an open heart. So ask yourself: are you ready to ROCK (gently back and forth with the nurturing sense of fulfillment that can only come from a healthy relationship with Christ)? Then stop by and sign up for a FREE... ugh, this is exhausting. Just please, please come to church. We'll do anything."

Sources: Christian Nightmares