Disregard all the piles of dirty snow still laying around, friend, because this Sunday is Easter, which is the true, unofficial start to the spring.

But before you dive headfirst back into whatever bad habit you pretended to give up for Lent, shine up your church shoes, young person, because you are going to church! Yes, that's right, lapsed Catholic, this Sunday marks your annual return to the holiest of houses. Church on Easter Sunday is even more important than Midnight Mass, because this is the one where He might actually show up.

What's that? It's been an entire calendar year since you last spent an hour in a building full of strangers and neighbors celebrating the resurrection of Christ? Never fear, because I've got some handy tips to help you get through this sacred service.